Chapter 16 of Eclipse

[mijan]

"Eclipse" has been updated.  Chapter sixteen, entitled "And Straight On 'Till Morning", has been posted.  It's the longest chapter yet, and I dare say the most intense.  Enjoy it, and perhaps leave me a review over on Schnoogle. 

-P

Comments

[essawkward.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I really hope you get to go dear, because being deployed wouldn't be half as bad if you made it to TWH, right? If you do have to leave soon, you know we'll all miss you incrediblemuch. So much love dear, and I hope things aren't horrible.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

I think things will be okay. I'm not worried, and somehow, I think I'll manage to get to TWH. Positive thinking.

[silentlytold.livejournal.com]

hello dear, just dropped by to tell you that your lastest chapter was absolutely fabulous. I enjoyed every bit of it. To say the end almost killed me is an understatement, but well... if it's really part of the fic I'm willing to forgive you :P
Of course I voted for you in the new-classics elections ;)
Good luck with the army stuff. I've always wanted to join the army, but I'm not brave enough.

[eleal.livejournal.com]

Thanks for keeping us posted. I wanted to let you know too that I also voted for you in the new-classics elections. I was a little bummed that we had to pick 5 though, because there were only 2 or 3 that I really, really loved and I'd have liked to give them more weight. (Yes, Eclipse was one of them.) Do you get a lot of new readers from polls like this?

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you still over TWH!

[lost2mercy.livejournal.com]

Oops, I just tried leaving feedback over at schnoogle, but I think I accidentially left it for the prologue instead for Chapter 16. So, just to make sure this is not lost somewhere in the internets, I'll just put it in this comment too...

Wow, I can see why you were so looking forward to posting this chapter.

God, you made me CRY. When Harry started to make Draco memorize last messages to his friends and Dumbledore, I gave in. Too much. (Um, in a good way...)

I loved the dancing scene and the way you took your time to describe what was happening to the boys emotionally and physically up until the eclipse. Draco's epiphany and subsequent decision was beautiful; it all made perfect sense to him and the reader at the same moment.

The cliffhanger is Ev0l, of course! But I just hope that you'll have time to write the next chapter fast (meaning I hope that you don't really have to go overseas after all...)

Thanks for writing and giving us this great story!

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, that's good news, then, isn't it? At least for now. - Michelle...this may be a stupid question, since I don't know what exactly Army Reservist means, but isn't there a chance for you to just quit, so that you're safe? Even if you'd have to observe a term of notice, maybe there would be time enough so that you would have left the army before that unit will be deployed. I heard many US soldiers don't support that cause anyway. Surely you could find a good civil job as a biologist. AND you would definitely be able to attend the round H/D table... ;)
About the new chapter, I couldn't read it yet, have to wait till Monday, because I have to print it out, but, given your other readers' comments, it must be splendid, although I have some forebodings, reading about a sad ending! 'meep' What are your readers so depressed about... Maybe I won't print it out at all and just imagine everything went alright for the boys. :)

Take care, wintryshowers

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Well, Reserves is different than Active Duty, but regardless, when you sign up, you're stuck for a certain period of time, no matter what. If you get out BEFORE your time period is up, it either has to be for a medical reason, or because you're in trouble. And if you're in trouble, you don't get an honorable discharge, and that effects your ability to get civilian employment. So, basically, I'm stuck for another 6 1/2 years.

[mimoletnoe.livejournal.com]

Oj, I've been keeping my fingers crossed for you to have the possibility to go to WH whatever happens. I so hope you can make it! Anyway... stupid war.

YAY! for chapter 16!! Am sorry I didn't reply at once when you asked me if I was a part of the Yahoo! group and if I read your explanation as to why it was natural for Harry to confess the way he did... Well, I am part of the group (I am a profound lurker when it comes to Y!Groups), but I don't really think your fic needs extra explanations. It's all there in the text, and you are a marvelous writer who simply doesn't need to provide guidelines for her readers, IMO ;-)

My comment that Harry's confession was "too cute to be true" meant only that I liked the whole sequence to bits and pieces and then some. Seeing that English is not my first language, I probably still have to learn how to use my vocabulary and express myself more clearly ;-)

I am really sorry if I made you think something was unclear from the fic! It is perfect and I am happily moving to read ch16 now.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Ah, okay. Not a problem. :)

Oh, and brace yourself for this chapter... you might want tissues.

[(Anonymous)]

BLISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! *runs off to read*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

[degrees.livejournal.com]

Err... that was me...

*sobs* SO HEARTWRENCHING!!! I must read more. I MUST!

You're brilliant, you know? I can't wait until the next chapter!!

~Lizzie~

[the-smirker.livejournal.com]

that sucks about the deployment thing. sorry. i will be sure to write losts of reviews...*grins* i jsut finished chapt 16. WHY DID YOU (appear to) KILL OF DRACO??????? (thats assuming you just appeared to kill him)i cried..it was soo sadening and touching, but i don't weant him to die! i love him! he and harry have kiss!!!! they haven't kissed yuet and draco already "died" thats muy mal, i and sad now...can't wait til the next chapter.. maybe HARRY'S love will bring D back alive *smirks*

~ admiring fan and part time smirker

oops

[the-smirker.livejournal.com]

oops! i just realized i gave away the entire ending *collapses in sad feeing puddle*

sorry guys!

[nyx-of-darkness.livejournal.com]

good luck with the deployment thing. *hugs*
and now i am off to mutter to myself about having to start reading your fan fic gerr not enough time in life. geer. but don't worry i will. :) *hugs again*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

LOL... take your time. No rush. The fanfic will be there. :)
*hugs*

[snottygrrl.livejournal.com]

haven't got a chance to read it yet, am sure i will love it. just wanted to send (((hugs))) and protective energy your way. i trust all will work out as it should, and maybe i will get to see you at twh after all. hold the belief that you are going to get to go to twh, it is amazing what the universe will do to accomidate ones beliefs. [*cuddles you*]

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Very true. The world does rearrange itself to your view of reality.
*chants* TWH TWH TWH TWH TWH TWH TWH...
*cuddles back*

[wordplaywright.livejournal.com]

Hi,

here through elsie_shade's journal. I regret I haven't heard about Eclipse sooner, it's always sad to discover a fic when it's just about to end; I would have preferred to comment on every single new chapter.

The fic is perfect as it is, and even if you'll be a bit late with the remaining chapters, you've already given us a (rather sizeable) piece of jewel.

I hope you don't mind mind me friending you. Thanks for the fic again.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Of course I don't mind you friending me! Friends are good! I tend to get behind on my LJ, and not friend people back like I should. I just don't pay enough attention to LJ, I suppose. But it's nice to have you here! And I always reply back when people post.

Oh, and you still *could* comment on every chapter... *puppy eyes*
(I'll admit, I'm a review addict.)

[llynden.livejournal.com]

You never cease to amaze me.
The chapter is... WOW.
I cried.
It is all so intense.
Too many things I'd like to say... The descriptions; the choice of words; the detail that Draco's father did not actually buy him a place in the Quidditch team; the switching of the POV in the end...
You are a brilliant writer, Michelle. This is the bottom line.

I've got even more inspiration for translating the Eclipse.

And btw, the epigraph and the post-text verse are beautiful. Whom do they belong to? I did not find any notice at Schnoogle posted chapter.

Hope everything goes on well for you over there. (*crosses fingers and tries to type the translation with crossed fingers*)

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Oh shit! Did I really forget to credit the lyrics? *headdesk*
The opening lyrics are by the Indigo Girls, and the ending ones are by Green Day.

[coffeejunkii.livejournal.com]

i've been following "eclipse" for a long time now [since last summer, i think], and felt i should finally say how much i love the story. it's absolutely amazing. it's probably the only h/d story i know that doesn't take a short-cut to getting rid of the problems between the boys. i'm also consistently impressed with the emotional intensity you manage to create in every chapter, and how clear it is that harry and draco deeply care for one another.

this last chapter was def. the most intense, and i was sniffling my way through it, from when draco tells harry there'll be another fairy ring that night [one of my fav scenes in the story, btw, along with when harry helps draco to go into the river], and when harry breaks down, and when they dance. if this had been the last chapter, i would have bawled my eyes out. i very much hope this will come to a good ending for both of them after all.

i really like the song you quoted from at the beginning of chapter 16, and i posted an a capella version of it at my lj. maybe you're interested in hearing it; it's a really beautiful arrangement, and you can find it here.

thank you so much for sharing your writing with us, and i wish you all the best for the future, wherever it may lead you ♥.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

I'm glad someone recognized the song from the beginning! I only *just* realized this morning that I hadn't cited the artists, and I must resubmit the chapter to both sites because of that. Actually, I'm going to make some edits, and then re-submit, but whatever. Anyhow, I love acapella music... I used to sing in a barbershop chorus. I'll have to go check it out!

And I'm also pleased that people seem to have enjoyed this chapter (despite the sniffling, crying, sobbing, and bawling). It means a lot to me because of how important this particular point of the story is to me, personally. I've been waiting to tell this part of the story for two years. I'm glad I'm finally there.

[green-loofa.livejournal.com]

*sniffles* I adore Eclipse. It's truly one of the best stories I've ever read. Usually I stick to M ratings simply because i'm kind of a d/h perv but i absolutely loveedd this fic. It had such a good plot and was soo full of emotion that it didn't matter that there wasn't much intimate action.

Your Draco and Harry are unbelievably believable in this and not OOC at all =D

I cried during chapter 16. It really was the most intense chapter so far. I'm dying to know what happens next so I'll be keeping tabs on fanfiction and so then I know when you're out of the army XP..

Congrats on an awesome fanfic! =)

[mijan.livejournal.com]

LOL... for a person who mostly likes smut, it's amazing you like this story! There's pretty much NO smut in it... although the stripping scene was enjoyably suggestive. (It's amazing that I haven't had them shag yet either... I'm a little pervert myself.)

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter... that means a lot to me that I was able to touch people with it. So... thank you. *blushes*
*hugs*

Re: oops

[the-smirker.livejournal.com]

in that case...*smirk smirk smirk* ; }

[imperial-dragon.livejournal.com]

oh my... that was amazing. i just finished eclipse and i can't believe im crying! i never cry! as imposible as it is i hate you yet i love you. that was soo heart wrenching that... i dunno, words can't describe how... wow it all was. i really hope the ending isn't so clear cut. merlin i love eclipse! its one of the few fics i take time out from studying to read.

i really hope u do get to stay for TWH.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Aww, thank you. I'm glad the chapter affected you so deeply. Of course, it's not nice to want people to cry, but seeing as that was the effect I wanted from this chapter, and that's the result I got, I have to admit, I'm very satisfied.

Aah, the ending... since when has ANYTHING EVER been clear-cut with me? *wink* I've already started work on chapter 17. I MUST finish it before I leave for Iraq.

Spoilers in this review

[karaz.livejournal.com]

I decided to print out the chapter because I was going to be on the road all day last Friday. First - let me say, I CRIED MY EYES OUT! Even with my husband sitting next to me asking me if I was really crying over "Harry Potter stuff that wasn't even real Harry Potter stuff." *eye roll*

Additionally - in the WAY CREEPY category, he was listening to Green Day during the drive and Wake Me Up When September Ends came on right as I got to the part where Draco realises what he needs to do. Then I got to the end and saw the lyrics. I swear, if you were trying to orchestrate it, it wouldn't have turn out this well. Then I had to hit repeat and cry through half the song. *laughs* I guess I just needed a good cry.

Anyway, fantastic chapter. The only disappointment was the lack of snog, (I thought they might get one in) but then again it's a bit more realistic this way. Poor Harry!!

Re: Spoilers in this review

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, a good cry is the best thing in the world. And I suppose it's probably bad for me to say this, but I'm happy I was able to make people cry... because that's the effect I was going for. Believe me, I cried the first time I got that scene in my head, and several more times as I worked on the fine details and finally wrote it.

Actually, if I could have orchestrated it, I would have had the Green Day song start just as Hermione realizes that something is wrong with Harry. If I were to be directing this, as a movie, I'd have that song start playing at that point in the scene. But yeah, the fact that the song came on as you were reading the end... very spiffy.

*hugs*
*gives tissues*

Take heart... the fic isn't over yet. ;)

[zentariana.livejournal.com]

Just wanted you to know that your writing is amazing. Your story actually manages to make sense. It's fantastic to read.
D/H is one of those pairings where something really odd has to happen before it works and time must be taken to walk the reader through the process if it's going to make sense and you did that.
As for real life, I hope you hear things soon (but since I have a brother who was in the army, I know how these things go) so you don't go crazy. And good luck. When you get back, I'm sure you'll start writing fanfic where they go to really really hot, unplesant places, yeah? :)

[mijan.livejournal.com]

LOL... I already write fanfic where Harry and Draco go lots of really hot places... but I don't think that's what you're talking about. No, when I get back, I'll be working on my original novel, I hope.

Anyhow, I'm glad you're enjoying Eclipse! My fondest wish is that it will be completed before I leave for Iraq. I'd hate to leave something like that incomplete. And yeah, with a brother in the Army, you know how maddening it can be. I just want to be here, at home, through October, and then I'll be willing to leave without hesitation. *sigh* I hate hot weather. And I hate sand. I want snow. *sigh again*

[luesietjuh.livejournal.com]

I don't usually comment much but here are my two cents.

I love your story. I am just so involved in it I am in your world. I love your Harry. I love your Draco.

I've just finished chapter 16 and not only am I reduced to tears but I'm actually sobbing, which is quite something :D.

The chapter was perfect, although my first thought after finishing it was: You bitch (no offense intended of course ^.~).

This is a pretty incoherant review but to sum it up: Your writing is amazing. Don't ever stop. You do infact, win at life *g*

*Fangirls shamelessly*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Awww... thanks. *blushes* And not to sound sadistic, but I'm glad the chapter made people cry. It means I did my job as an author, and it makes me feel like all the time I spent was worthwhile. But... the story isn't over yet. *wink*

*hugs*