Random Musings

[mijan]

PRIMARY:  Less than one week go to now.  YAY!  I have purchased feminine protection for the LAST TIME EVAR (unless I pick some up for Trophy Wife).  Do you know how liberating that feels?  But more to the point, I won't have to delete one or two days every cycle from my calendar due to severe bleeding and pain that disrupts my life.  The cyst will be gone, too, of course.  Eighteen years of on-and-off torment will be over.  Not nervous - just relieved at this point.

SECONDARY:  My wife has misplaced her wedding ring.  Currently, she's wearing my wedding ring on her necklace and wearing the rainbow gemstone ring I gave her on her left ring finger.  I'm wearing my grandfather's old signet ring that I inherited on my ring finger so it's not naked.  (I'm really fond of that ring, actually, and I'm sad that the only finger it fits is my left ring finger - my right ring finger is significantly larger at the knuckle, so it's an excuse to wear it.)  HOWEVER, that got me thinking of something I've been considering for a while.  I've thought about getting a wedding-band tattoo on my left ring finger.  Cheesy, perhaps (although I've got a design in mind), but I like the idea of having something that nobody can remove from me.  I'll have to take off my wedding band on Monday when I go in for surgery.  If I have a wedding band tattoo, they can't remove it.  My Trophy Wife supports this idea.  I would never pressure her to get one - this is what I'm considering for myself.  What do you folks think?

TERTIARY: I've broken past my snippet of writer's block, and I'm writing the last few scenes of my Star Trek Big Bang fic.  This fic is rather overwhelming and huge, and I'm just hoping it works out the way I want it to.  I shouldn't be nervous, but you know me - I am.  I  hope people will like it.

QUATERNARY:  Really sick and tired of having religion thrown at me randomly, as if I should just simply accept it.  And it's always Christianity I'm being force-fed.  Random co-workers (not in my department - other departments), random folks around and about, businesses,   Why, people?  And how shall I respond?  Shall I respect this obnoxious, in-your-face, you-must-agree attitude from people, or shall I fire back?  Shall I tell them that it's not healthy for adults to cling to fairy tales?  Shall I cluck my tongue and shake my head sadly because they haven't converted to (X) other religion?  Shall I try to tell them of the joy of being a Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, or Pastafarian?  Really, I can't just keep going along with this.  I need a fair game plan of how I shall respond to future forceful intrusions of other people's religion on my life.

Comments

[jantra.livejournal.com]

2nd: Suggestion: you can get a ring gently enlarged at a proper jewelry store so you could fit it over your knuckle. Also, while I heavily support the wedding band tattoo, I heard it hurts like nothing else in this world because it's right on the bone on a sensitive place.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

I'm considering getting the ring enlarged, but this is a VERY old ring. You almost can't read the "LMD" (my grandfather's initials) that are engraved into the signet. I might get it sized anyway though, and I know a place I'd trust to do it.

And I know the wedding band tattoo would hurt. Some sacrifices are worth making.

[vixys.livejournal.com]

The wedding-ring tattoo thing sounds adorable, and I'm sure to you, pain is nothing (or something :D) - and wow, I am so excited for your surgery! *flaily* *hugs*

Your STBB fic is amazing, bb, and whatever way you write the last few scenes, with my advice or not, they'll be just as fantastic. So don't worry - just rock on, and be awesome. (And send me the finished product, y/y? :D)

Ah, religion. My strategy to being forcefed religion is to just ignore it - everyone needs a comfort blanket of some sorts, be it a person, concept, or favourite book, and if someone wants to put their faith in one god or a pantheon, that's up to them. (This is my way of saying that telling "them it's not healthy for adults to cling to fairy tales" is a bad idea, yo. :D) It's obnoxious, yes, but they don't mean any harm. So, live and let live. And ignore. Rant about it here; leave it in RL.

But yes. :D *hearts*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Heee... I can handle the pain. Just want to make sure the tattoo is what I WANT. And yes, excited about the surgery, but mostly just RELIEVED. Waiting is the worst part right now.

Your advice for those last scenes has been extremely valuable. I had been stuck on writing that first bit from Bones' point of view, but the instant I switch back to Jim's, it WORKED. I needed that push. THANK YOU. Of course I'll send you the finished product! Let me finish those scenes, and I'll send it right along.

See, I'm fine if other people want their security/comfort blanket. I just don't want them trying to wrap me in their blanket, or assuming I'm cold because I don't have that blanket, and so on. It gets obnoxious. Live and let live, perhaps, but I'm tired of people just assuming they can do it. :/

[vixys.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out. And a week's not too long to wait, is it? I mean, in a week, I'm going to university, and I'm sure I'll be able to fill the time. As will you. SO YES. /ramble

Strange POV choices are my favourite - figuring out different ways to tell a story, or something. (I anticipate that email. Do you know when your posting day is, yet?)

I know, it is irritating. I identify as a kind of wishy-washy Christian (sort of: my concept of religion--or lack of it--is very odd/abnormal), and the whole YOU MUST BE SAVED attitude does irritate me, too. But, mostly, I think people are just trying to help. Unless you're that Terry Jones guy. *RAGE*

Anyhow. :D *hearts*

[gmonkey42.livejournal.com]

Mine is an actual blanket :D

[mijan.livejournal.com]

I like those actual blankets. They keep my toes warm.

[vixys.livejournal.com]

That's the kind I respect. :P

[auroraceleste.livejournal.com]

What do you folks think?

Honestly? I think it sounds like something you shouldn't be asking about. The only person that should matter to is Jen. You two talk it over and then figure out what YOU wanna do and screw everyone else and what they think.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

LOL - in the end, that's absolutely what it will come down to. I'm kinda musing aloud here.

[pinkfinity.livejournal.com]

IMHO, the tattoo idea is lovely but check with your doctor to make sure it wont cause issues when you go into the surgery - when I had my gall bladder out there was a question on the checklist asking if I had had any tattoos ornpiercings in the prior 30days - not sure why, but better to ask beforehand than have an issue then.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Huh - I hadn't even considered that. I shall ask. THANK YOU for pointing that out! I never would have thought of it.

[lightheart-7.livejournal.com]

Also, you cannot donate blood for a year after you get a tattoo, if that matters to you.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

It does matter, yes, but I've donated recently and would just wait the year. Just... considering it.

[gmonkey42.livejournal.com]

I think the wedding band tattoo is a cool idea.

I usually just ignore the religion crap. But it doesn't happen to me very often, I can see how it would be harder to ignore if it happened a lot.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*grins*

The religion crap has just happened several VERY obnoxious times recently, in unexpected places and unexpected circumstances. I'm just tired of it.

[xdaemon.livejournal.com]

Two days later, my brother-in-law goes under the knife for what is, if not the same surgery, awfully damn close. Adding you to the mental list to think good thoughts at for a quick and painless recovery.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Your brother-in-law is getting a hysterectomy and having an ovarian cyst removed? That's got to be a medical first.

[xdaemon.livejournal.com]

Biologically female, identifies male.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Aaaah! Brilliant. In that case, he and I are indeed in a very similar position at the moment. My apologies for making assumptions - I'm gender-queer and even *I* get stuck in the cisgendered mindset and linguistics when talking about medical issues. (I swear, every hysterectomy information website is decked out in girly stuff.) Anyway, sorry for the misunderstanding. (I'd actually wondered if you'd mistyped "mother-in-law" by mistake.)

Wish him luck for me.

[xdaemon.livejournal.com]

I actually debated the terminology to use, as the other choice we generally fall back to is "sibling-in-law" as it points out that the usual terminology doesn't quite fit, but it's just so clumsy. Also didn't know if you'd remember that it had come up at the end of Arisia this year as you were bribing me with bourbon.

Luck _all around_.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Sadly, Arisia last year was the start of when I was getting really sick, and my memory was spotty for several months. I'm sorry I've forgotten. But I'll have more bourbon this year at Arisia, and if you find me, I shall share again!

And the terminology is quite right. Granted, I prefer male pronouns myself, but my wife gets upset if people call me her husband because it messes with her self-identity, and I'm perfectly good with that. I've just always gone with "spouse" myself, but that's partially due to my French heritage. The word translates to "spouse" for both genders (even though there's a masculine and feminine version of the noun), not different words for husband and wife.

Okay, I'm rambling. That's the drugs talking. LOL.

Either way, here's go good outcomes for all of us next week!

[dulcinbradbury.livejournal.com]

Hysterectomy & chest reconstruction.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

I'm highly jealous of the top surgery. I've wanted to do that for years. (At least I'm small enough that binders work very well.) I hope it goes well!

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

4iery: I respond in keeping with the nature of the interaction. If it's a blessing offered, I return a blessing. If it's religious information being passed on as fact, I return facts. If it's asshattery, I begin by returning an assertion that whatever asshattery it is only applies to people of the asshat's religion, and therefore not to me. Sometimes I get assier from there, but I try not to. If it's just "I love Jesus!", then they get "I'm awfully fond of Thoth" or similar. A non sequitur for a non sequitur.

TRUFAX (related): In my heavily-Christian office, I have a statue of Ganesha (the agency motto is about opening doors, so he seems appropriate). I also wear an ankh almost every day. I behave as if these are normal things to do, because, of course, they are. Nobody has ever yet so much as looked at me cross-ways about it. My strategy for dealing with privilege is simply to behave as if I have it, and let people admit that they think they're better or more deserving than me if they want to call me out on it. Hardly anyone ever does.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

I agree - if someone offers prayers or blessings or other generic well-wishes, then I just thank them graciously, as it's meant to be kind. But if someone says, for example, "Jesus will heal your body! You just need to have faith in Jesus, and he'll get you through your surgery," I find that preachy and obnoxious. Depending on my mood, I might say, "Actually, Artemis is a far more appropriate deity for this sort of thing," or "I don't need your imaginary friend's help. I think the doctor will do just fine."

I like your strategy for reclaiming privilege from a non-privileged standpoint. That's similar to what I often do, but I like to hear examples. My own office is generally awesome. None of that stuff ever happens in my office. We all seem to be pretty liberal, and theism and religion just isn't relevant to our office discussions. It's people in completely different segments of the facility. I'm just glad I don't work directly with any of the ones who are like that.

[annulvapore.livejournal.com]

I wear my pentacle; it usually scares the zealots away, which is funny, as I would think they would try harder to "save" me as a result.

[sgt-majorette.livejournal.com]

Still more or less Roman Catholic after all these years, and I don't go out much anymore, but when I did, and I felt contrary, I simply wore a headscarf.

I generally have my head covered anyway, as I worship at the shrine of Saint Can't-Be-Bothered-With-This-Wild-Mess-On-My-Head-EVERY-Damn-Morning.

[liamgolucky.livejournal.com]

OH TATTOO. I have a friend who got one there though and she said it hurt like all hell and back, and then mentioned that it was really annoying to take care of because its on your finger. Like you cant scratch tattoos or it'll mess up the ink. Also, she got in when she was 16 and shes now 32 and shes had to get it redone a couple of times because it fades easily. Just to share my random story. :)
BUT IM TOTALLY FOR IT.

When people ask me how I feel about religion I just give them a blank look until they walk away. Works for me. :)

ALSO, YAY NO MORE FEMININE PRODUCTS! (this makes me hate you a tad because flo is due within the next two days. -.-. lucky bastard.)

[seneska.livejournal.com]

Firstly, I'm quite jealous of you right now *groans in pain*. Good luck!

Secondly, it sounds like a really nice idea, a truly permanent gesture. There may be an issue with it if you get it done just before surgery though. I've heard they ask about any possible/likely sources of recent infection.

Quaternally, since the Pope visited the city last week nothing else has been all over our media. I am quite sympathetic. At least working in a science building at uni means I avoided the worst of the insanity. There was even a massive fire on the same day and it got barely any news coverage at all. You could try telling them you practise voodoo and see if that shuts them up...

[sphynxle.livejournal.com]

Keeping you in thoughts :D I know the surgery will go awesome, and I have to admit I'm jealous. I don't plan to use the things, why do I have to be stuck with them >.>

People will love your story. I assure you of this.

I'm to the point where I just ignore it. It's very, very hard, but at the same time, giving them things like "it's unhealthy to cling to fairy tales" just adds fuel to the fire. I find that the ones who don't seem to get the major "accept it!" things are the ones who are very, very open about their religion. That way, they know you have one and you're not just . . . I dunno, "lost".

[vector-nyu.livejournal.com]

Congrats on surgery!

I'm sorry about the religion thing...I'm a christian myself, but I would never force it on anybody...but then again I was raised mormon so I know all too well about pushy missionary types. I've come to accept that there are many paths to god/goodness...too bad those pushy christians can't :/

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Oh hun, I know that most Christians are not the pushy ones. It's just that I keep running into the pushy ones! I totally understand that most Christians aren't like that, and a lot of them are really cool people.

[eldritchhorrors.livejournal.com]

You can get a silicone ring subdermally implanted on your ring finger. It is subtle, just a raised ring around the base of the finger, but it can't be removed.



Kind of like this, except that it is 2 smaller u-shaped pieces inserted around the finger.

[abigail89.livejournal.com]

That's ...kinda creepy looking.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

I agree with Abigail... that's really creepy. I couldn't do that. I'm fine with ink, though.

[eldritchhorrors.livejournal.com]

I'm covered in ink (sleeves, collar, back and hips), but I'm getting some implants under the ink of one sleeve to make it pop.

I think I like a lil' creepy.

:D

[abigail89.livejournal.com]

I've mulled over the idea of a ring tat. A friend of mine has one, and I like it. But I like my ring and it matches my spouse's so for the moment I'm good.

If your grandfather's ring cannot be enlarged, you could ask about having the signet set in a new ring.

YAY for surgery. I finally threw out all my feminine products last year. I have no idea why I was hanging onto the stuff. I'm over that for good.

*SIGH* Hell, I AM a Christian and I get this shit thrown at me all the time. I tell people I've cast the fate of my soul to the Presbyterians, and there's nothing they can say/do/give me to read that will change my mind, so GO AWAY. Yeah, I've told doorknockers to GO AWAY.

You could always say I've cast the fate of my soul to the universe and I'm pretty sure God/the Great Spirit's got me covered. :D

[mijan.livejournal.com]

My grandfather's ring doesn't have an in-set signet. It's just a solid piece of gold. I'll do what I can with it.

See, my friends who are Christian aren't the preachy type. I don't care what anyone wants to believe. It's just the ones who get pushy and demanding who make me want to push back. Can't win. I just try to be a generally nice person to everyone, and figure that's good enough. But dang, the ones who just can't leave it alone... *sigh*

[tgrcats-tail.livejournal.com]

While it is not what you want to hear right now, and no one else is going to say it:
IF things go totally fubar, removing a ring tattoo is even more painful than getting it in the first place. I say it because I know a gal who got one, very nice celtic knots, and after _20 years_ things went horridly bad...
There, that said, I know you will make the decision right for you based on all relevant information.
WHOOT for finally freedom from pain, cyst, and the need for fem protection! As for the religion.. sorry I have no great comebacks either. I just smile and shake my head and move away (assuming that is possible)