The Jeezuz brigade strikes again.
Dec. 30th, 2008 03:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mijanWhy is it that I seem to attract these people? It's like flies to honey, or mosquitoes to a bug zapper.
It starts in the cafeteria at work. I'm waiting for the tomato soup, and this pleasant-seeming woman asks what soup is coming out. I tell her that it's the tomato soup. She says that she loves tomato soup with cheese sandwiches. I off-handedly agree that lunches like those are one of those "things we all had as kids" things and I occasionally enjoy that. She then tells me:
"You shouldn't eat things like that too often though. The salt isn't good for you."
Okay, so the second-to-last thing I care to hear is an obese person telling ME how to eat. (Nothing wrong with a person being fat, but there's a twisted sort of irony in me - an athletic, trim, health-food nut - being lectured about healthy eating by someone who was clearly not practicing a healthy diet.) So I calmly and politely tell her that I'm actually on a doctor-prescribed high-salt diet because my blood pressure is too low. In fact, I continue, I'm on a prescription to raise my blood pressure intentionally because it's too low.
She starts by saying about how strange that is, and then rambles on about how she REALLY IS going to lose weight this year - her New Year's resolution. To be conversational, while waiting in line, I comment that I used to be chubby and that I know losing weight isn't easy but you've got to put in the effort if you want the results. She doesn't seem to believe that I could have been chubby, so I shrug and say, "I had a Jewish grandmother who thought that everyone was too skinny, and wouldn't be happy until everyone was absolutely stuffed."
She seems to accept that. I give up on the soup and decide on a veggie burger. She follows me. Asks why I don't eat meat. I just tell her that I DO eat meat, but I prefer the veggie burgers to the hamburger patties at that particular locations. She decides to try one, too. She tells me that she'd like to go vegan eventually because she likes fish. I explain to her that vegan means no fish, no dairy, no eggs, and so on. "Oh," she says.
Then, as I'm putting tomato slices on my veggie burger, she asks me if I'm a Jew For Jesus.
If having a fat lady telling me how to eat is the second-to-last thing I want to hear, that was THE LAST.
I tell her, no, I'm not a Jew for Jesus. She assumes that just means that I'm Jewish. Notice that I never told her that I'm Jewish - just my long-dead grandmother. She makes all the rest of the assumptions herself. So I tell her, no, I'm not a Jew for Jesus.
She immediately launches into telling me that Jesus is the only way into heaven and that I have to learn to follow Jesus and blah blah blah.
I wanted to tell her that I'm actually Pagan. I wanted to tell her that I'm a lesbian. I wanted to tell her that I find nothing more offensive than people who need to randomly preach at me, and that I don't want to lose my appetite when I'm about to eat.
Instead, I politely told her that my beliefs are simply different from hers, and that I'd appreciate it if she didn't try to preach to me. At that, she brusquely said, "Well, have a nice day," and walked away from me as quickly as she could squeeze through the lunchtime crowd.
Where do I find these nutbags? Why do they find me? Why do they pester me at the most annoying times? Why did it have to be at work, where I couldn't tell her exactly what I think? And where do they get this delusion that freedom of speech and freedom of religion only applies to their speech and their religion?
*sigh*
I think I'm going to start passing out Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster information pamphlets.
It starts in the cafeteria at work. I'm waiting for the tomato soup, and this pleasant-seeming woman asks what soup is coming out. I tell her that it's the tomato soup. She says that she loves tomato soup with cheese sandwiches. I off-handedly agree that lunches like those are one of those "things we all had as kids" things and I occasionally enjoy that. She then tells me:
"You shouldn't eat things like that too often though. The salt isn't good for you."
Okay, so the second-to-last thing I care to hear is an obese person telling ME how to eat. (Nothing wrong with a person being fat, but there's a twisted sort of irony in me - an athletic, trim, health-food nut - being lectured about healthy eating by someone who was clearly not practicing a healthy diet.) So I calmly and politely tell her that I'm actually on a doctor-prescribed high-salt diet because my blood pressure is too low. In fact, I continue, I'm on a prescription to raise my blood pressure intentionally because it's too low.
She starts by saying about how strange that is, and then rambles on about how she REALLY IS going to lose weight this year - her New Year's resolution. To be conversational, while waiting in line, I comment that I used to be chubby and that I know losing weight isn't easy but you've got to put in the effort if you want the results. She doesn't seem to believe that I could have been chubby, so I shrug and say, "I had a Jewish grandmother who thought that everyone was too skinny, and wouldn't be happy until everyone was absolutely stuffed."
She seems to accept that. I give up on the soup and decide on a veggie burger. She follows me. Asks why I don't eat meat. I just tell her that I DO eat meat, but I prefer the veggie burgers to the hamburger patties at that particular locations. She decides to try one, too. She tells me that she'd like to go vegan eventually because she likes fish. I explain to her that vegan means no fish, no dairy, no eggs, and so on. "Oh," she says.
Then, as I'm putting tomato slices on my veggie burger, she asks me if I'm a Jew For Jesus.
If having a fat lady telling me how to eat is the second-to-last thing I want to hear, that was THE LAST.
I tell her, no, I'm not a Jew for Jesus. She assumes that just means that I'm Jewish. Notice that I never told her that I'm Jewish - just my long-dead grandmother. She makes all the rest of the assumptions herself. So I tell her, no, I'm not a Jew for Jesus.
She immediately launches into telling me that Jesus is the only way into heaven and that I have to learn to follow Jesus and blah blah blah.
I wanted to tell her that I'm actually Pagan. I wanted to tell her that I'm a lesbian. I wanted to tell her that I find nothing more offensive than people who need to randomly preach at me, and that I don't want to lose my appetite when I'm about to eat.
Instead, I politely told her that my beliefs are simply different from hers, and that I'd appreciate it if she didn't try to preach to me. At that, she brusquely said, "Well, have a nice day," and walked away from me as quickly as she could squeeze through the lunchtime crowd.
Where do I find these nutbags? Why do they find me? Why do they pester me at the most annoying times? Why did it have to be at work, where I couldn't tell her exactly what I think? And where do they get this delusion that freedom of speech and freedom of religion only applies to their speech and their religion?
*sigh*
I think I'm going to start passing out Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster information pamphlets.
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RAmen! and an ornament
Date: 2008-12-31 04:43 pm (UTC)Re: RAmen! and an ornament
Date: 2008-12-31 04:56 pm (UTC)I just made a Flying Spaghetti monster for Fi to wear with her Pirate regalia at Arisia. She might wear it to a party tonight.
Don't you just love the FSM in all his noodley goodness? :D