mijan | Fic and Art: "In Perfect Trust" (4/4)

Title: "In Perfect Trust" (4/4)
Author:

mijan
Artist:

lizardspots
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: BDSM. Needleplay. Sounding.

Link to the previous sections: Part One, Part Two, Part Three

After a few seconds or a few minutes, Jim couldn't tell, Bones released his cock, the sound still in it. It felt odd and heavy, but he almost completely forgot about it when Bones' hands moved up to his arm, pulling Jim's awareness with them, and squarely back to the needles embedded there. There was a tugging and twisting sensation at the sharp point in his right forearm, and Jim realized that Bones was manipulating the needle in his arm. He whimpered, unable to find words, or even figure out what he'd want to say even if he could speak.

"This will keep your nerves awake here. I don't want you getting too comfortable, Jim, or slipping too deep into sub-space. I want you aware and cognizant for this." The hands moved up his arm to the next needle. Pressure, exquisite sharpness, and Jim swore the needle was connected to a nerve that went straight to his cock. "Keep breathing, Jim."

In a way, Jim couldn't understand why Bones needed to keep reminding him to breathe, but the burn in his lungs that had nothing to do with the burn in his skin seemed to confirm the necessity as Bones moved up to the third needle. Nerves firing, so intense, and he felt like he was on a g-force training shuttle, sailing up and down as forces beyond his control wreaked havoc on his body, leaving him wrung out and breathless with the all-consuming feeling of blood rushing in his ears. In the distance, he knew that Bones had moved to the needles on his chest - the faint pinch of pain, the spinning and flying sensation that gripped him, the feeling of sinking into the swirling darkness...

He was snapped back to a hazy reality by the unexpected thud of a fist against his sternum. He automatically coughed, then sucked in a deep lungful of air as Bones leaned over him, looking both worried and angry. "Goddammit, Jim, I told you - keep breathing. Focus with me, okay? There's a reason this is called edge-play, Jim - we're taking you up to the edge without letting you fall over it. You're new at this, so I'm taking you through slowly. I want this to end on a high note, not with you going into shock because you forgot to breathe, got it? If I have to stick a respirator mask on you, so help me, this becomes a real medical incident, and the fun stops. And mark my word, I will."

There was no doubt in Jim's fuzzy mind that Bones wasn't bluffing. "Yes, Doctor," he breathed. "I'm fine. I'll do it." To illustrate his point, he took a deep, slow, controlled breath. No inclination to argue, none whatsoever. Somewhere, he was aware of the fact that he'd do just about anything Bones told him to do just then, without hesitation, and he wondered how the hell he'd become so pliant. Bones telling him what to do... and just going along with it, without question... so simple. He trusted it like he'd never trusted anything.

"Good. Then keep your eyes open this time, Jim. Focus on the ceiling. Slow, deep breaths."

As Bones' fingers moved from needle to needle, Jim's eyes moved from ceiling panel to ceiling panel. Willingly, determinedly, Jim focused on the air rushing into and out of his lungs as each needle twisted in place. By the time Bones had made it around to the left side of his body and was twisting the last one, the comforting yet startlingly alive buzz had descending over him again, moving with the ebb and flow of Bones' movements, words, commands. The hands never left his body, keeping him present and grounded in his own skin. It was good, very good, and through his muted awareness, he latched onto the simple fact and unwavering truth that as long as he listened to Bones, and did what he was told, everything would be good, very good.

And then Bones was moving back around to the right, and his hands were back on Jim's cock. Relaxed but acutely aware, Jim forced himself to breathe and focus as he felt pressure on the sound, and then the sensation of it being slowly, carefully withdrawn... but this time, it came all the way out. Jim writhed, straining with his hips. The arousal was both distant and intense, vivid and muted, and he wanted... wanted something. He let himself whimper, and Bones chuckled. "Not yet, Jim."

The hands were back, and something plastic was pressed against his urethral opening. "Just a bit more lubricant, Jim," Bones said as Jim felt the thick fluid being forced into him.

"More...?" Jim asked vaguely, torn between his curiosity and the raw sensation of what was being done to him. His voice sounded strange to his own ears, but he stopped when he felt a cool piece of metal touching the head of his cock.

"This one's a little bit bigger, Jim. Keep breathing, got it?"

Weakly, Jim nodded, and he tried to say yes, but it came out as a wordless whimper.

"Good. Now relax."

This wasn't just a little bit bigger. At least, that's what Jim's nerves were screaming as the sound pressed in and sank into his cock, inch by mind-blowing inch. Thank god he used more lube, Jim thought vaguely, but mostly, thinking was beyond his capability. The pressure on his cock was coming from the inside and the outside and everything was so tight and hot and cold and all he could manage was to keep breathing, in and out, in and out. Finally, it stopped moving and Jim looked down to see the rounded tip of the sound nestled snugly against the tip of his cock, and he could imagine the shaft of metal embedded through the entire length of it. Bones' hand was wrapped around his prick, not really squeezing, but supporting it. Having someone touching his cock wasn't anything new, but this was something he'd never felt before. The sensation was so vivid, so strong, so fucking arousing, and he both desperately wanted Bones to stroke him, but feared that if he did, it would be too much... too much.

"You're doing really well, Jim," Bones said, his tone steady and reassuring. "Your blood pressure is a little bit high, so try to relax, okay?"

At that, Jim choked out a laugh. "Relax? Bones, you've got your hand wrapped around my cock, which is skewered by a piece of metal, a dozen needles stuck in my arms and chest, and you want me to relax?" It sounded like his own voice, and it sounded like something he'd say, but it didn't feel like the words were coming out of his own mouth.

"Yes, I do." He let go of Jim's cock and moved up, taking Jim's wrist in his hand, fingers pressing on his pulse. "I've got one more sound that I'm going to use on you. Just one. I want you to be ready for it, and I don't want you to blank out on me. Not until I let you. Now listen to me. Focus on my voice." With his one hand still monitoring Jim's pulse, his other hand began to run up Jim's arm, stopping at the first needle. "You've never had someone take care of you before. You've never let someone take care of you before. You don't know how."

The needle did something strange against a nerve in Jim's arm, and he felt something jolt up his limb, and he twitched and gasped, but Bones held his arm firmly by the wrist. "Easy there, Jim. Listen, you're quite something when you're in charge, running the show. You're good at that. You don't have to let anyone else run things, you don't have to let yourself go in front of anyone you don't trust." The next needle twisted, and the rush up and down his body went right back to his aching cock. Bones kept talking. "But sometimes, even you need to let go, kid. You've needed this for longer than you know." The third needle tugged against the skin of his tricep, making him groan, but not struggle. "You trust me, or you never would have come here tonight. So relax, Jim. Let me do this. Relax." Fourth needle, fourth twist, a desperate moan, but Jim felt himself relaxing, lulled by the soft words. Acutely aware of his own body, Jim could almost feel his own heart slowing down, as if Bones could control that by his words alone, even as the rest of him seemed to shiver and throb with sensation. "Good. Good." Bones' grasp on his wrist was steady and firm. "How're you doing in there, Jim?"

"Green," Jim heard himself say, the response easy and clear, despite the strange echoing that seemed to reverberate through him as he said it.

"Good," Bones said once more, then he leaned in close and said in a low growl, "And I should mention... goddammit Jim, the sight of you right now is one of the hottest things I've ever seen."

Jim groaned as Bones released his wrist, struck by the throaty rumble in Bones' voice, the heavy, possessive gaze. Holy fuck, he's getting off on this, too.

That tiny scrap of coherent thought was swept away a second later as those hands were back on his cock, and the sound was slowly eased out of his shaft, sending jolts through his groin and stomach. He wanted to writhe, wanted to touch himself, wanted to come, but this wasn't in his hands - this was up to Bones, and the only thing he could do was to relax and take it and experience every moment of it. There was something small and non-metallic held against the tip of his cock again, and Jim didn't need Bones to tell him that it was another bit of lubricant, but he did anyway. Calm and steady, despite the virtual assault on his senses, Bones was guiding him through it all, even as the cool metal of the last sound began to press into him.

The stretch was overwhelming and just on the edge of being unbearable, but it wasn't too much, wouldn't be too much. Bones wouldn't give him more than he could take. Bones had it all under control. Bones had Jim under control, and that was okay. It was right. The sound sunk deeper, and just when Jim was sure that it had reached all the way to his core, it stopped.

"Look up, Jim."

Jim was beyond any ability to think for himself, and could only do exactly as he was instructed. He lifted his head to see the thick bulb of the sound at the top of his cock, pinched between Bones' thumb and forefinger. He couldn't pull his eyes away as Bones slowly twisted the sound between his fingers, couldn't do anything but continue to breathe as the sound was partially withdrawn and then sunk back into his cock, couldn't quite ignore the overwhelming urge to thrust his hips back up to meet it. Bones must have anticipated it, because he planted one hot, possessive hand on Jim's hip, holding him down and pinning him in place as surely as the restraints on his wrists and ankles.

"Damn, Jim, if you're not careful, I'm gonna think you're enjoying yourself or something."

It was a chuckle and a tease, but all Jim could think was that Bones was reading every wanton, desperate twitch of his body. "Nnnrgh!"

"Yes, I think you are." He wrapped his other hand around Jim's cock and tugged downwards lightly, and Jim realized that with every stroke, Bones was going to stimulate both the inside and outside of his prick. "Yes, that's it, kid. Just like that."

Jim shuddered. Bit his lower lip. Turned his head side to side, but couldn't stop looking away. "Bones," he panted. "Can you... can you..."

"I told you, Jim, let me take care of everything." Bones hand kept stroking gently, but the effect was anything but gentle. The welcome assault on every nerve in his cock was intense, as if it was pulling every other sensation in his body straight into his groin.

Jim blinked and stared. "Bones, please, I need... need to stop looking... or I'm..."

Bones' eyes went wide, and his eyebrow jumped up as his mouth fell open in amusement. "Yes, Jim, you can stop looking."

Like a tether had been cut, Jim's head fell back against the table, stunned by how easy it was to follow Bones' instructions, but too overwhelmed by the sensations to care. The smooth metal on the inside, and Bones' rough hands on the outside of his shaft filled his consciousness, and he shivered. Breathe, reminded the echo of Bones' instruction to him, and he forced his lungs into a smooth rhythm, in and out, in and out, as the sound was smoothly drawn in and out, in and out. The friction was slight, but the pressure, and the feeling of being impossibly full drove through his being, and he could feel his balls tugging, tensing closer to his body.

"No, Jim, not yet."

He whimpered, but felt his own heightening arousal held back. "Mmmph."

"It's okay, Jim. Soon," he said, stroking again.

Jim shivered again, his skin twitching as the shudder worked its way from his groin to every inch of his body. It tugged against each needle in his arms and across his chest. Pulled against the restraints on his wrists and ankles. Came back to the hand on his prick that was still working up and down carefully, cautiously, too cautiously. "Please..."

"Almost, Jim." The hand that was stroking didn't stop, but there was an odd pressure on the ring that was still squeezing the base of his cock. "This is a little something I picked up on leave last summer. Was wondering when I'd get a chance to use it. Got a clever unlocking mechanism... like this."

The ring suddenly released, and Jim couldn't stop himself from crying out as he felt his balls clenching tighter, tighter... and the sound was being pulled out in one smooth movement. "Now, Jim."

The command was his release, and his orgasm ripped through him, not just through his cock and his groin, but through every part of his body. Nerves singing, pulsing, screaming screaming through him, and distantly, he was aware of the fact that he was screaming. There were hands on his face, framing his cheeks and holding him through it, taking care of everything. Bones was right there, speaking softly in his ear.

"I've got you, Jim. Let it all go. Ride through it, Jim. It's okay."

It's okay? It's... One of the hands brushed his cheek, a thumb wiping something wet from below his eye, and Jim realized that somewhere in the middle of it, he'd begun crying. It made no sense - he wasn't upset, sad, or in distress, but the room was blurry as he blinked away tears that had been set loose as surely as his own orgasm. Release. The word whispered through his thoughts, and it didn't matter that the tears leaked down his cheeks even as the last pulses of his orgasm shuddered through him. Exposed, raw, vulnerable, and it was okay, because Bones had him.

"Are you okay, Jim?" The voice was soft and concerned, close but oddly distant now.

Jim thought he nodded, but he was too far gone into the fuzzy haze that was blanketing his thoughts to be sure. He must have, because Bones made a reassuring sound.

"Okay. I'm right here. I've got to take those needles out. Stay with me, Jim."

"Mmmmm."

The hands fell away from his cheeks, and he heard Bones moving around him. First, a soft towel wiped his cock and his stomach. Next there was the rustle of fabric and the light tugging as his restraints were released, one by one, finishing each time with Bones massaging his wrist or ankle tenderly. He couldn't stop the whimper he gave in response each time, and by the noises of approval he heard in reply, it was okay. Then there were hands on his left arm. Something soft pressed over the needle in his shoulder, there was a faint twinge as the needle was smoothly withdrawn, and then the clatter of plastic on plastic as it was discarded. A moment later, the soft pressure was removed, then pressed against his triceps. The faint burn of the next needle coming out drew a gasp, but it was weak and distant and nothing more than a breath. There was a reassuring touch on his hip, then the next needle was removed. As Bones moved around his body, each needle being removed seemed to release Jim from the strange tethers that were keeping him pinned to awareness. The only things keeping him in the present, in his body, were the firm, sure touch of Bones' hands and the steady rhythm of his own breath. One after another, slowly releasing, letting him go. Letting everything go. And Bones would catch him... just letting go...

*********

Leonard removed the final needle from Jim's chest and dropped it into the small sharps box on the floor, being sure to keep constant contact with Jim, skin to skin. After a release like that, Jim was probably more vulnerable than he'd ever been before. He wasn't used to dealing with the high emotions that can overwhelm a person during an intense scene like that, nor the subsequent come-down. The physical was the easy part; if this was all about the physical, nobody would do these things anyway. You could only take the body so far. The mind could go so much further, and the emotions further still.

With his free hand back on Jim's chest, Leonard pulled away the gauze pad. There was a small spot of blood, but the puncture wasn't bleeding, so he dropped it into the sharps container as biohaz and turned his full attention to the thoroughly wrung-out man on the table in front of him. Jim's head was tilted to the side, his eyes were closed, and Leonard didn't think he'd ever seen Jim looking so relaxed, so peaceful. On one level, it was almost an unfathomable contrast to the red marks on his skin and the intensity of what he'd just been through, but Leonard knew why it fit so well, why it made so much sense. His own satisfaction was there, bared and exposed like Jim was, and he ran his hand across Jim's shoulder and squeezed his arm, feeling both protective and possessive. At that point, they felt like the same thing.

He glanced to the side and checked the readout on his PADD, which he'd propped up on the nearby coffee table. Jim's higher brain activity was decreasing, which was to be expected as he came back from such an intense high. The small nutrient booster he'd given Jim earlier had been thoroughly spent; glucose and electrolyte levels were down again. Surface capillaries were starting to constrict, and Jim was probably going to pass out pretty soon. Under Leonard's hand, he could feel Jim starting to shiver.

He reached over and grabbed the hypospray and another nutrient vial. "Jim. Hey, Jim, can you hear me?"

"Mmm... yeah, Bones. 'm listnin." He shuddered. "'m cold."

"I know, Jim. I'll take care of that." He pressed the hypospray to Jim's neck and frowned when Jim didn't even flinch. Yeah, the kid was pretty far gone, but at least he'd had quite the good time getting there. No surprise that he was crashing. "Here, I need you to sit up now so we can get you over to the bed. That's good." He took Jim's weakly offered hand and pulled him upright. "Come on, lean on me, kid. There we go. One foot in front of the other."

Jim was almost stumbling as Leonard helped him across the room and eased him onto the bed. Leonard sat down next to him, then shifted him around so that Jim's limp form was resting against his own chest. From there, he pulled up the blanket and covered them both. It was a snug fit, but he wasn't going to let Jim go anytime soon, and he wasn't surprised at all that Jim curled up and pressed against him tightly.

"Jim?" He reached up and combed his fingers through Jim's hair. "Are you okay?"

Jim only nodded against his chest, making a small sound in his throat. It wasn't a particularly coherent answer, but that was fine. Leonard had him, and was going to take care of him, just like he always had. And, he suspected, just like he always would. Somehow, he liked that idea, and held Jim a bit tighter.

Yeah, he'd been nervous when he'd started, though he'd never let Jim know that. It had been a long time since he'd played like this, but more than the hiatus, now he was sure that Jim himself was the reason he'd been nervous. Other people - they were just play. Intimate, sure. Intense, of course. But this was Jim, and as long as he'd known the kid, Jim had been so much more. He hadn't wanted to let himself think about it too much, but now that he'd seen Jim sprawled out, restrained, exposed, panting, gasping, moaning, screaming... yeah, he'd wanted Jim for a long time. Never thought he'd get the chance, really, but this, now - fuck. The feel of Jim's flesh yielding to him, his body complying with every cue, reacting to every touch, and sweet lord, when Jim hadn't been able to look away until he'd given him the goddamned command... the pure memory of it sent a thrill through his own body, right back down to his own aching groin.

He'd take care of that later. Right now, he was still taking care of Jim. Ran his hand over Jim's forehead, then down to the kid's pulse on his neck. He loved the feel of Jim's pulse under his fingertips - the feel of Jim's heartbeat, life beating strong and vibrant through his body. Knowing that Jim had entrusted that life in Leonard's hands, fully and completely, was the greatest gift he thought he'd ever been given. The thrill of it was as intense as the responsibility, and his pleasure was Jim's trust.

"Mmmm," Jim hummed contentedly, the sound vibrating through his chest and into Leonard's. "You like that," he mumbled. "Like checkin' my pulse, don't ya?"

"Yeah, Jim, I do," he admitted openly, then shifted his hand over Jim's chest. "It tells me that you're okay, you masochistic brat, and that's important."

"Mas'chistic, yeah," Jim slurred, "but you'll keep me from bein' stupid."

"I'll try, Jim. I'll try."

"Someone's gotta." He tucked more tightly into the blanket with a soft sigh, and Leonard felt a little twinge of warmth in his own chest.

"Then I guess I'm glad it's me," Leonard said softly into Jim's hair, brushing his lips against the top of Jim's head in a not-kiss that he hoped wasn't too much, too forward.

"Mmmm," Jim hummed again. "Like that. Like what you did to me." He paused, and his body tensed just slightly. "It's okay, right?" A hint of uncertainty had crept back into his voice. "It's not weird that I liked it, right?"

"I told ya, kid, it's no weirder than anything else people do," he said in a low growl. "And if it's so weird, well... I like it, too, right?"

"Hmmm." Jim's body relaxed again, and he chuckled. "Yeah, y'do." Jim squirmed in place and Leonard felt him intentionally pressing up against his own erection which he'd been trying to will into submission.

Leonard shook his head. "Leave it, Jim. I'll take care of it later. You rest. Maybe we'll take care of it all next time."

"We'll do this again?"

A thrill of both satisfaction and anticipation shot through Leonard, and he squeezed Jim just a bit tighter to his chest. "I think so, Jim. Yeah, we will."

"Thanks, Bones," Jim whispered as his body relaxed even further against Leonard. "For everything."

Leonard couldn't stop the broad grin that crept across his face, and he didn't want to. "You're welcome, Jim. You're absolutely welcome." He stroked his hand through Jim's hair again. "Now you sleep. Everything else can wait. Relax... and rest."

A few moments later, he was sure that Jim had fallen asleep or passed out - at that point, it was all the same - but he was sated, safe, and resting soundly, and it was the most satisfying feeling that Leonard had felt in years. He leaned his own head back against the pillows, clutching Jim to himself. Still smiling, but softer this time, he pressed a soft kiss into Jim's hair and whispered, "Thank you, Jim."

When he woke up, hours later, a pair of bright blue eyes were gazing back up at him, in perfect trust.