Open Letter to Six Apart: On Anorexia

[mijan]

There are many reasons to be irritated at Six Apart right now.  The piss-poor customer relations.  The unclear standards.  The sudden deletions.  The double standards that seem to be impacting fandom more than anyone else.  The blanket label of "child pornography" in reference to art depicting Harry Potter at the age of 18 or higher, because Harry Potter is always a child, even though he was 38 at the end of the canon books and has fathered three children of his own.  Yeaaaaaaaaaah.  So, yes, there are many reasons why Six Apart is currently worthy of extreme bitch-slappery right now.

However, one thing pissed me off more than anything else, and on a deeply personal level.  The people of Six Apart want to ban LJ users under the guise of child pornography accusations, on the premise that our fanart is harmful and subversive and horrible.  However, somewhere in the middle of this stupid wank-fest, Six Apart is presented with the fact that there are pro-anorexia groups (not support groups for anorexic people trying to recover, but groups that actually treat anorexia like the best fad diet and a positive lifestyle) using LJ communities are their bases of operation.  In response, coffeechica simply states that they think those groups are fine, and that there's nothing wrong with wanting to be thin. 

I don't think I have ever, EVER been more DISGUSTED by a blatant display of idiocy than this.  There's nothing wrong with wanting to be thin, right?  Oh, my dear, dear carrie, you know not what you say.  Or, at least, I HOPE you don't have a bloody clue as to the filthy can of worms you just opened.  I really HOPE you don't know how ignorant and stupid you're being.  Because if you actually have a clue as to the real nature of anorexia and other eating disorders, then you are lower than a foul, loathesome, evil little cockroach.  Let me tell you a few things about eating disorders, seeing as it seems you can't tell the difference between a diet and a mental illness. 

I'm going to preface this with my qualifications.  I'm a biologist, with a pre-med background.  I was awarded the Army Achievement Medal for attaining the highest standard level of physical fitness in US Army, and in addition to my regular Soldier duties, I functioned as a diet and exercise advisor for Soldiers having difficulties.  I began training as a competitive athlete 22 years ago.  And... I suffered from Anorexia/Bulimia for six years.  Yeah, I think I'm fairly well qualified to discuss this.

The first thing you need to know is the definition of a healthy diet.  Such a diet will have an adequate balance of carbohydrates, proteins, fats, vitamins, minerals, fiber, and other vital nutrients.  A diet lacking adequate quantities of ANY of these things is malnutrition.  Yes, even fats.  A diet completely lacking fat will lead to brittle hair and nails, poor skin condition, and a myriad of other problems.  The amount of calories needed should reflect a person's energy output in order to maintain a healthy weight.  Any significant imbalance will lead to health problems.  Intentionally upsetting this balance is equivalent to intentionally inflicting harm to one's self.  Sure, there are days when any normal person might over-eat or under-eat, but that's not the same thing as an ongoing obsession over starvation as a good thing.  It's a sign of severe psychological disorders, and should NEVER be encouraged.  Yet that's what pro-anorexia groups do.

If a person does need to cut back on calorie consumption or increase energy output, then a person should have a realistic idea of healthy goals and how to get there.  A person with a healthy mentality will be able to balance their body image with a realistic understanding of weight, body fat, and health.  A person of a normal weight will know that his or her body is normal.  However, with the pressures of society, stick-thin models, and the constant criticism of celebrities who aren't stick-thin, it's easy to see how many people, especially young women with perfectionist tendencies, to begin to see their perfectly normal bodies as being too heavy.  Those same people will use extreme methods to reach their goals, which, simply put, is self-harm on the same level as using illegal drugs, practicing self-mutilation, or attempting suicide.  To encourage pro-anorexia groups is to encourage something just as harmful as intentional drug-overdose.  The horrible side-effects just doesn't appear as quickly.

The effects of long term anorexia are brain damage, organ failure, loss of hair, degeneration of skin and nails, immune system failure, and eventual DEATH BY STARVATION.  The long-term effects of bulimia include erosion of the upper digestive tract, throat, and teeth, permanent gastric reflux disease, increased chance of heart-attack or stroke, increased chance of aneurism, and electrolyte imbalance, along with all the symptoms of anorexia if the bulimic person doesn't retain enough nutrients to support normal physiological function.  Of course, that says nothing of the associated clinical depression, the way people's lives fall apart, the way their entire world revolves around their avoidance of food or the binge-purge cycle, their obsessive-compulsive behaviours, and the high rates of suicide amongst people with eating disorders.

It's easy for some people to fall victim to this.  Too easy.  It impacts perfectionist females more than any other group, but it can affect anyone, including men.  It usually starts innocently enough.  Maybe someone wants to lose ten pounds for a wedding.  Maybe someone feels jealous of her thinner friend who gets the attention of the boys more easily.  Maybe a girl wanted to look good in her high school prom dress... which is what happened to me. 

So it starts with a basic diet.  And exercise.  And it becomes obsessive.  It becomes extreme.  The 1,200 calorie diet of more standard weight-loss plans drops down to 500 calories.  Then 300.  Then 200.  The three-mile run after school becomes seven miles.  Ten miles.  The weight isn't coming off fast enough, so you add diet pills.  They make your heart race and your head spin, but you lose another pound, so it was worth it. 

Many of the victims know the harm it can cause, but by the time they realize they're really doing, the disease is controlling them.  A crash diet has become a disorder.  A quest to fit into that pair of jeans becomes a full-time obsession.  The only thing they can do without completely losing it is to maintain a facade of control, and imagine that they're not really sick.  They could stop anytime they want to.  Even the ones who know they have a problem are too phobic of gaining an ounce of weight to let themselves even try to eat normally.  If they step on a scale and they're even the slightest bit heavier, they go into a complete panic, and might not even drink water until their weight is back down again.  And no matter how thin they get, it's NEVER GOOD ENOUGH.  They spend their lives chasing an impossible goal, trying to justify what they're doing, obsessing over weight, convincing themselves that they're fat when they're really skeletal.  They know their world is falling apart around them, but as long as they're still thin, it's okay.  They know their bodies are beginning to deteriorate, but as long as their clothes are still loose, it's okay.  But it's not.

They hate themselves.  They're too fat, but they're doing all they can.  They don't see that their bodies are wasting away and their muscles are weakening.  They CAN'T see it.  They're depressed.  They're miserable.  They may become suicidal.  Still, they convince themselves that they're in control.  They convince themselves that this is the right way.  The only way.  There's no other way.  Their disease takes over their lives. 

Maybe friends and family figure it out.  Maybe someone tries to help.  Maybe even the person with the eating disorder tries to get help.  Maybe they even start trying to turn things around on their own because they finally reach a point where they know they have to get better or their eating disorder will kill them.

And then... they find people ENCOURAGING THEM TO STARVE THEMSELVES.  There's a whole community, online, where they can hide away from their real life, and let themselves slide deeper and deeper into their mental illness.  Their dirty little secret suddenly has an in-crowd.  Their longing to be accepted is fulfilled, and their desperation to be thin is supported.  And that community is SUPPORTED by Six Apart.  Condoned.  Acceptable.  Suddenly, it's okay for them to starve themselves and destroy their bodies, letting themselves die a slow, gruesome death.  After that, there's no turning back. 

The problem of anorexia is both personal and societal.  It affects people on a personal level, but it's created on a society level.  It's dangerous.  It's deadly.  It's a real mental health crisis, and a true psychological disorder.  I know, because I experienced it all myself.  I was intelligent enough to know what was happening, but human enough to still fall victim.  It's scary.  It's terrifying.  It took me years to get out of it, even when I just wanted it to end.  I would think I was okay.  I was eating normally again, and on a normal exercise routine, but then one day, I'd eat too large of a dessert, and I'd panic, and it would be like I was eighteen again, and my world was spiralling out of control because of a damn cookie. 

Even though I'm mostly fine now, at the age of 27, more than ten years after this insanity began, there are still days when I look in the mirror and have a hard time accepting what I see.  It will affect me for the rest of my life.  A few times, it almost caused me to lose my life.  And there are many who lose that battle.

So, carrie, is that what you want to support?  Is that Six Apart's stand on eating disorders?  There's nothing wrong with wanting to be thin, right?  Even if young, impressionable teenage and pre-teen girls are reading this stuff and starving themselves when they've barely reached puberty?  Even if these girls, after getting sucked in, aren't "good enough anorexics" and kill themselves out of sheer self-loathing?  Or if they overdose on diet pills and suffer heart attacks at the age of sixteen?

You say you want to snuff out child pornography to "protect the children".  Do you know how many teenage girls develop eating disorders because of the pressures of society?  Do you understand that by condoning and publicly stating your approval for these groups, more little girls will probably begin starving themselves?  The pressures of society are already there.  For many young girls, it might only take the smallest suggestion to tip them over the edge.  After that, it's a long, dark slide to the bottom of a horrible fate, and not everybody manages to climb back out.

Maybe you should stop worrying about who Harry shags after he leaves Hogwarts (as an adult, might I add), and start worrying about what will happen when people see your thoughts on horrible things like anorexia.  It's not a joke.  It's not a fad diet.  It's a mental health crisis and a tragedy of society... and you're doing your part to make it worse.  Congratuations, I hope you're proud of yourselves.

Comments

[daddybear716.livejournal.com]

BRAVO! Now if those braying jack-asses would only listen.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Okay, I see where you're coming from here, I really do. And I know and understand how horrible anorexia is, absolutely. But can I just point out that this statement:

It's a mental health crisis and a tragedy of society... and you're doing your part to make it worse. Congratuations, I hope you're proud of yourselves.

Is something that people could easily have said about homosexuality just a couple of decades ago. Yanno?

It makes me uncomfortable that people are treating this LJ mess as if it were a zero sum game. What does writing slash fanfic have to do with anorexia? Unless it's the topic of a fic, not much. Why do comms we don't approve of (and aren't illegal) have to be viewed as competition with us? They don't compete with us. Their existence does not affect ours, plain and simple.

I suppose I'm uncomfortable with people in this community being judgmental of other people's reasons for being here. The fact is that most people out there think we are freaks and pervs and should be kicked off of LJ. They are wrong about that, and frankly, we don't do much that is positive to convince them otherwise. So who are we to judge the (poor, misguided, IMO) girls in those anorexia communities? And who are we to judge and berate LJ for letting them stay, when we would like them to demonstrate the same amount of open-mindedness about us?

[ex-leianora730.livejournal.com]

Emma? I need to talk to you. Could you email me? leianora 627 at gmail dot com

Thanks I'm not mad, I just... need to talk to you about this, because you understand, and you just said in a few words what I was thinking and made me feel better.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Homosexuality doesn't lead to self-harm. It's not a cause of depression (although hate towards homosexuals doesn't help). Homosexuality has been around since the dawn of mankind. It's even been documented in other species.

The condition of anorexia is, by definition, self-starvation. There's no up-side of that. I've been there. People don't become anorexic because they were born anorexic. As an example, there was a society on an island in the south Pacific (can't remember which one, but I'll look up the story if I must) that had never had television or popular magazines before. There were NO CASES of anorexia and bulimia in their entire society. And within a few years of getting television, eating disorders started appearing because of the body-image issues created by western society.

You ask, "Who are we to judge the girls in those anorexia communities?" I'm not judging THEM. I consider those girls (and some guys, possibly) to be victims or patients in need of help recovering from their condition. I'm judging LJ and Six Apart for essentially saying that there's nothing wrong with anorexia, and for supporting these pro-anorexia sites.

I know, maybe the rhetoric sounds like things levelled against gays in years gone past, but I've been there. It IS a psychological disorder. And this will sound horrible, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but if you haven't suffered from an eating disorder, you can't understand how horribly it controls you, and how you can slip into it before you even realize that you're trapped.

I can't condone the support of a pro-anorexia LJ community any more than I can condone the support of a pro-suicide community. To me, they're almost the same thing. In some cases, it IS the same thing.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

You know where I stand on homosexuality, so please don't lecture me. I'm talking about the perceptions that exist out there in the world.

My point is that it's hypocritical of us to expect LJ to be open-minded about our content and at the same time be judgmental about other communities. People should feel free to rail against whatever content they don't like, but this whole attitude of "If you're going to delete us then delete this group too!" is really disturbing to me. I don't think fandom should be in the business of encouraging internet censorship, plain and simple.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Okay, I see your point. And I didn't mean to come off as sounding like I was lecturing. Please forgive me?

I agree that we shouldn't be engaging in censorship, and I wasn't wanting them to delete anyone's group. That wasn't my point. I'm just infuriated that the Six Apart rep seemed to act like anorexia is perfectly fine and normal, and her tone almost seemed as though she'd like to encourage it. It's a horribly damaging thing, and as someone who's suffered through it, I couldn't believe what I was reading.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Well, I'll certainly agree 100% that the LJ folks have handled this badly at every single turn. They've done nothing to make me think they run a good company, nothing at all.

I don't have a link for this, but someone just told me that the breastfeeding wank from last year (in which LJ banned default breastfeeding icons) happened because someone's default icon of a womans bare breast was baleeted and he bitched, pointing out that LJ allowed defaukt icons of women nursing. So rather than be reasonable, LJ said, "Okay, fine. We'll delete the lot." Sound familiar?

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*headdesk* Damn, LJ just like to prove time and time again how stupid they can be. STOP THE INSANITY! (Oh wait, that was from a diet guru, right? How ironic.)

But seriously, how can you run a corporation and be THAT stupid? Just... for EVERYTHING?

*sniffles a bit*

[daddybear716.livejournal.com]

All of which should be telling us that LJ is not a reasonable entity that will listen to calm level-headed voices. I do not belief this will blow over. I do not believe that fan-dom laying low, ie. going into the closet, will make this go away either. I still firmly belief that LJ is not a safe home for fandom and the more I see the more I firmly believe that to be true. My hope for the nest is that we get out with our history intact and not deleted in one fell swoop.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I seriously doubt they'd delete us all. We give them an awful lot of shit even for a couple of deletions, so if they started deleting fannish journals en masse, it would be utter chaos. We have lots of lawyers and are very well connected, and they know it.

In fact, it seems that they don't want to take any action unless they feel like they have to, and even then they seem to do as little as possible. (Hence all of the inconsistency.) They seem to bank on the fact that most users will forget about the shit they pulled in a few weeks. And most probably will. How many people really remember Nipplegate? This is the same shit all over again, and none of us have learned how not to get things accomplished at LJ.

But I don't think the LJ folks are out to "get" fandom. I think they're just trying to cover their asses and look good for their advertisers. It's a business, and we do give them a hell of a lot of money -- but we're not the only ones. If some of the loud fen get mad and leave, all the better for LJ, sadly. They'll still be here, no matter what happens to us.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

And as soon as I hit send, someone gives me a link. :-P

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I'd also meant to mention - to me, this is an issue entirely different from the journal deletions and anti-pr0n stuff. The anorexia comments from Six Apart came out of the journal deletion discussions, but the comments from coffeechica regarding anorexia infuriated me as a completely separate piece of idiocy. I was addressing that separately, and commenting on the irony of how they are anti-child-porn because of their need to protect innocent children like Harry Potter, but are happy to support communities that encourage young girls to starve themselves to death. Just commenting on the irony.

[firebird157.livejournal.com]

It's a TOS thing for a lot of people.

SA are applying their TOS selectively. They say don't promote self-harm and don't post possibly under-age pictures but only delete one.

It's also a legal thing...

They say they delete this stuff for legal reasons when that pro-ana group tells under-thirteen year olds how to bypass COPPA on it's info page. That's definately illegal...

Double standards annoy most people regardless of their views on the subjects in question.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I've made my point in a post of my own on the subject, so I won't repeat it all here. But suffice it to say that I think we're making a mistake by pushing LJ to go after other comms like this.

[firebird157.livejournal.com]

Maybe the problem is that as a totally seperate issue I think they should delete comms like that regardless of what they do with porn. The only reason I hadn't started on this before is I didn't know they existed. The fan who reported them had been trying for months before this - I think she just used this as a way of publicising her cause (and who can blame her a few thousand enraged fans can really help any cause).

I also don't see the deletion of two artists as a fandom issue. It's only become a fandom issue because they were fanartists. But really I don't think it's because it was pornographic age-dubious fanart... I think they would have deleted them even with original art. I worry for at least one original writer on my flist because the way they are phrasing this now could hit her and in spite of my posts on the matter I don't think she knows about the shitstorm.

Becky

Also Infuriated

[siriuslydlucius.livejournal.com]

This disgusts me. I can’t believe they would condone such a thing. My first run in with something like this was when I was fourteen, and had a xanga. It was a pro-anorexia group, and I remember reading the posts and thinking, “Hey, maybe I could 'fast' too…” Thank god, I snapped out of it, but I can’t even think of how awful it would be for other young girls reading that kind of thing. Also, I wonder if they condone all the groups that are pro-self mutilation. I’m sure that livejournal has them, because I know xanga did.

It just makes me so sick.

[quickpixie.livejournal.com]

I won't touch on the fandom issues here because, frankly, I'm just too disgusted with this whole situation. As emmagrant said above, anorexia and fandom are a seperate issue.

I do have something to say on the pro-anorexia groups. I'd heard - apart from fandom, mind - about Six Apart's turning a blind eye to the pro-anorexia communities. From what I've read, and I'll disclaim myself here, saying that I honestly haven't been over to the official ljbiz journal out of sheer exhaustion with the whole blow-up. But anyhow, from what I've read, they've basically brushed the whole thing off as support communities. Nice.

I'm just...sad. I find it incredibly disturbing that people can gloss over something as serious as this just because it's far less likely to attract attention and thus, far less likely to off scare potential buyers. Because this whole debaucle was never about 'protecting the children;' it's always been about Six Apart's profit margins. And honestly, what kind of social responsibility is that? I would think that a company that is suddenly so committed to protecting its young consumer base might at least be a bit concerned that it is hosting communities where these girls are essentially encouraging their mutual self-destruction. I don't know about you, but to me, condoning anorexia and/or bulimia is pretty damn dangerous to the children.

In addition...

[ajuxliapose.livejournal.com]

I nearly lost my mother to anorexia. You can still see her aged 54 agonise over everything she eats when she gets stressed. It's a head fuck growing up with it and living with it now. My mum cries when I put on weight. She put on weight after she went on HRT. She hates it, and refuses to give up smoking in case she puts on weight. She'd rather be dead than fat.

My friend Lucy has anorexia. The only thing that will save her is sectioning. Her family won't section her because they are afraid of her reaction. She will be dead in less than five years if someone in her family doesn't do this. If and when her heart gives out on her, I will be attending the funeral of a bright and beautiful young woman who couldn't be perfect enough.

And they say that the pro anorexia communities are hurting no one?

This makes me angrier than the Harry Potter shit they have dumped on us. Sure because a picture of HP over the age of consent naked with some fingers up his bum kills thousands of women and men every year, and because malnutrition is beautiful.

Sure LJ.

[stitchesandlace.livejournal.com]

heya, this is Tara, my former lj was 'ambeon'. this is my new journal, i've added you! we met at Prophecy last weekend :) yay slashers!

this entire situation with LJ is just disgusting. i was thinking the same thing a few days ago regarding the pro-ana communities and how they can ban us and not them... the LJ people are just making themselves sound like ignorant homophobic asshats. hatehatehate.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Good to see you, m'dear. I shall friend you.

And this post wasn't even meant to address the journal deletions and the anti-fandom sentiment. It's purely about the ignorance and idiocy displayed in the statement by the Six Apart rep. Whether or not they let those communities continue (and seeing as I don't believe in censorship, I really can't demand they be stopped), the condoning of anorexia as a good thing is, to me, like saying that suicide or self-mutilation is a good thing. Can't do it.

[football-girl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, coming from a person who has had an eating disorder, I feel deeply offended by her comment. No, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be fit, but there is something wrong with wanting to be thin so much, you become completely unaware of the difference between "thin" and "dying". Yes, there is something wrong between slowly killing yourself in plain view of people who love you and most of the time, cannot help you. And honestly, I cannot believe that someone would care about who Harry is shagging over the horrible disease that is anorexia. Encouraging anorexia is like encouraging suicide!!

And your explanation itself almost made me cry. Because that is exactly how it feels...

And that's not all. They look past a lot of users and communities. A year ago I reported a user who was gay bashing openly. Posting entry after entry how gay people should die and how they should die etc. And after I personally reported her, stating that homophobia and gay-bashing in such obvious, encouraging manner is illegal both in US and Canada (and most civilized countries), they got back to me saying that because LJ exercises free speech, they can do nothing. Need I say more about screwed up values and hypocrisy?

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Very screwed up values. *sigh* I can't even think about it any more. I have other thoughts... we should discuss sometime. IM me on Y!M later, perhaps. My ID is jedi_mijan. Give me a buzz, okay?

*hugs*

[football-girl.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I don't have IM, unfortunately.. Only MSN. My MSN is the same as my e-mail. :)

[fleurdeliser.livejournal.com]

Yes, exactly.

*HUGS*

I finally posted my GREAT BIG LONDON POST OF DOOM. Including pictures. Click me!

[crikkita.livejournal.com]

Very, very well said. Thank you for alerting us to this ridiculous double-standard, and hopefully, for alerting 6A folks to it as well. Gah.

Also, I know we don't know each other super well, but I want to say how impressed I am that you've had the strength to come back from such a hard period in your life, to reach the healthy, strong, energetic person I met at TWH. Thanks for being willing to talk about your experience. ♥

[crikkita.livejournal.com]

Oops, I've read some of the above comments now, so let me replace the word "double-standard," above, with "policy" and "statement" and "response." Or something like that. That whole "there's nothing wrong with wanting to be thin" thing makes me mad enough to want to throw sharp, heavy things.

[tracy-loo-who.livejournal.com]

I've never had any brushes with eating disorders, but I just wanted to say your description of it scares and saddens me a lot. >.<

[lunalovegoddess.livejournal.com]

I'm going to try to keep this brief: it seems lately that I have a lot to say, and less time to say it in. So much that I keep inside until it bursts forth like the flow of lava.
My heart is racing right now, but I have to say this:

I was a perfectionist, and I have/had an eating disorder. I say "have" because I know that I haven't fully recovered and I never sought treatment. When I am upset, my stomach automatically cramps up. My mind makes my body sick. My disgust and anger is often turned inwards, because I was brought up a "lady" and nice Catholic girls don't swear or make a scene. I eat very little at a sitting, less than my kids eat, yet I am still sixty pounds overweight. I may say that I prefer to be fat and happy than skinny and miserable, but the truth is that I am overweight and depressed. I never took up smoking and I seldom drink, because my father was an abusive alcoholic. I was too little to remember, but living with a family who had gone through hell still had marked me. I could diagnose my problems as abandonment issues, eating disorders, poor self-esteem, post-traumatic stress disorder, clinical or manic depression... but the only one I ever was diagnosed with was postpartum depression. I have tried to commit suicide twice in my life, once because I had been raped, and the first time because I hated the ridicule, the ostracism, the pain of high school bullying... and also because no matter how much I tried to be like the other dancers, I would never be thin enough. Never be pretty enough, because I wear glasses. Never be accepted by the other girls, whose petty cruelty and psychological warfare was worse than the physical abuse I had received at the hands of guys.
And, to compound matters, I was a lesbian. Which made me feel as if I was sick. So, I made myself sick. It was the only control I had over my life.

[lunalovegoddess.livejournal.com]

And now my life is very different... I got pregnant in college, around the time that I was becoming comfortable with my sexuality. I thought that I would not be able to have a stable relationship with any one. I thought that falling in love would fix everything that was wrong in my life, but I was wrong. Sometimes I see getting pregnant as another way to escape my problems, or at least bury them along with my rage and self-loathing.
I thought about killing myself and abandoning my daughter after I almost hurt her. My thoughts were morbid and I was afraid that she would die because of me... and then she almost did.

Because she kept losing weight, I thought that there was something wrong with me, that I couldn't even feed my own child. Breastfeeding was difficult for me, and nerve-wracking. My daughter had an undiagnosed milk allergy, and breastfeeding only made her more sick. The pediatrician insisted that she couldn't be allergic to breastmilk. She couldn't be having seizures, either... but she did. Because I was a welfare mother, I "obviously" didn't know anything about medicine, even though I had been pre-med.

That day was a wake-up call for me. I couldn't kill myself because she needed me. When our second child was born, I had a milder depression, and I recognized the symptoms this time around. So I sought the services of a psychologist, who helped me talk about how my life had changed.

[little-werewolf.livejournal.com]

*Applauds!* Very well written, have you thought about sending this as an email to them, trying to open their eyes.
I had a friend in school who was going anorexic, and she actually knew that she was. She hardly ate anything and did a lot of sport, and when she ate something it was only sweets. So yeah, I don't understand either how lj can support such a horrid community.

Which leads me to another part that I don't understand at all from 6Apart, is that why aren't people allowed to draw fanart but all the Japanese/Chinese manga comms are still there?? There are nearly daily posts of underage characters but they don't get a warning or anything. Even if it is an off-site link, LJ stated that even that wasn't allowed when the content of it was in their eyes obscene or underage.

They really need to set their ToS right, because for me right now it looks like as if they are simply only deleting out of pure boredom.

[starlitshore.livejournal.com]

I know where you're coming from as far as your anger at LJ goes. I too am extremely upset with them saying that anorexia is fine. I really don't like that we've been compared to pro-anorexia and pro-child-beating groups as far as the amount of harm we inflict upon children by writing Harry Potter fanfic. But I also see the point Emma was making, and I don't necessarily want LJ to play the 'if we delete these guys, we have to delete those guys too' game. And I know that that's not really what you wanted to get across. So yeah. Anyway. Both of you, good points.

As for your own eating disorder and the lingering effects? I'm so sorry you went through that. Having met you in person, I can honestly say that you are in great shape, hon. You picked me up! You're strong. I see nothing wrong with your weight and am actually kind of in awe of your athleticism. It was hard for me to stay in sports after high school, because university is so busy and our sports complex isn't top-notch. That's not an excuse, I know. But I found too...after I stopped swimming, I dropped 15 pounds. True, I no longer had as much muscle on my body, and I also changed my eating habits, which are healthier now than they were in high school, but I can't deny that it made me feel good. I could finally find jeans that fit the way they were supposed to (which is sad, considering). Being around those 110lbs friends when I was 140lbs made me so self-conscious, and as you pointed out, the media doesn't help. I've thankfully never had an eating disorder, but I know why some girls (and guys) fall victim to them. It's not hard to see. And that's the really scary part -- it could be anybody. And it's heartbreaking to watch.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon. And seriously, I'm 99% fine now. It's a part of my past, and therefore a part of who I am, but I'm proud of how strong I've become, and how I've taken care of my body. It also helps a LOT that I've embraced a more masculine physique and personna. It's both more who I really am as a person, and it also helps me to see myself outside of the stereotypical "idea" for women in our society. If I decide that I can be tough and muscular and strong and manly, then I don't worry about being petite and thin and feminine. I'm much happier this way. I was always a tomboy, and spent so much effort not only in trying to be thin, but also to try to fit into a feminine role. It didn't work for me, and it only messed me up more.

I'm happy now, but the scars don't disappear entirely. And yes, it really can happen to anyone, no matter how smart, clever, strong, or well-loved.

[starlitshore.livejournal.com]

The fact that there is a "feminine role" drives me nuts. I don't think it's fair at all. Personally, I don't fit into the stereotype of girls in make-up, dresses, high-heels and giant sunglasses either. Bit of a tomboy over here, too (I grew up with boys all around me -- cousins, friends, brother). I figure hey, I'm a girl, and this is how I look, and this is who I am, and if other people don't like it? Tough. They can go find what they want elsewhere. :)

Funny how much better we women feel when we decide not to buy into the media stereotypes.

[starlitshore.livejournal.com]

Ah! I just read that it's your birthday! So happy birthday, Michelle! :D

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Thankee!

[mijan.livejournal.com]

I find it kinda funny, and find it kinda sad. Like the song says. Which is why I've decided never to buy into media stereotypes and standards ever again. But it leaves a mark on people. I hate the idea that there has to be a defined set of characteristics for "feminine" and a defined set for "masculine." I used those defined characteristics to help pull me out of the self-damaging cycle society created for me, and now, after all these years, I'm slowly working on a process of simply defining "self" for me. It's theraputic, and very freeing. :)

[padys.livejournal.com]

I completely agree with the non-anorexia sentiment, but.. I'd have more to say if I wasn't completely braindead right now.

Mkay, the thing is, what we're essentially fighting for now is our freedom of speech and our right to express ourselves the way we want to. But when we tell LJ to delete the pro-ana comms as well, it is (through technicality) limiting their freedom of speech. Whether or not it is something that offends sensibilities, or is something that in the end is incredibly detrimental to someone's health is a slightly different issue.

Heh, I've run out of steam. I'm not trying to say that I support pro-ana communities, quite the opposite, infact! But what I think is that when we try suspend/delete/whatever their communities, we "silence their voices" as LJ/6A/their abuse team has done to us. It'll only turn into a vicious cycle of censorship.

I'm sorry about your experiences with the disease, and its lingering effects. I saw you at Prophecy and you're seem to be in great shape. Much better than I am, or ever was while I still swam. In complete awe, I must add. :D

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Hi Lachrymose! Yes, it's my birthday today. :D

And I wasn't trying to promote censorship here. I'm just trying to eloquently state my level of infuriation at the Six Apart representative for being so fucking clueless about something that is a DEADLY PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDER, not some simple "wanting to be thin." I couldn't believe the ignorance. *sigh* Horrors.

Let me copy/paste one of the things I wrote in a thread on emmagrant's LJ entry about this:

I'm a bit upset that the reason it seems people are railing against the pro-anorexia sites is because their own communities are being attacked for grey-area ToU "violations" whereas the pro-anorexia comms are blatantly against the ToU. People should be upset that pro-anorexia sites exist, PERIOD. It shouldn't be used as a case of "WAAAH, LJ is picking on us, so they should pick on those guys, too!" It's the wrong reason. It makes our communities look petty and cheap, and it makes it more likely that the community deletions will become more widespread and less selective. "Oh, a potential violation - DELETE!" It's just promoting censorship on an even larger scale, and where would it end?

So, dragging the anorexia groups into this whole debacle = bad idea. Only bad things can come.

But, the fact that Six Apart, as a company, seems fine with supporting groups that encourage little girls to starve themselves to death = deepy disturbing, horrible, vile, and completely reprehensible.

Just one more reason to get our beloved fandom away from these Six Apart maniacs. Let the rest of their LJ empire fall apart on its own.

[padys.livejournal.com]

Yay! Happy (now belated) birthday!

I think I may have misunderstood your post initially, then. But yes, reactions so far have mainly been sort of like a two-year-old's (or, if you're in Toronto, a reaction like the two-year-old who heads our city, David Miller).

SixApart's just a complete mess when it comes to enforcing their own TOS, and moreso when it comes to communication with their customers. They lack their own stance, at this point, and it's definitely taking them under.

I'm heading off to InsaneJournal, for now, since that seems to be the safest choice currently available. (Squeaky upped the free friends limit to 1000!)

icon is directed at 6a/lj

[lindsical.livejournal.com]

You know what pisses me off about 6a/lj?

deadbabies

That comm.

They shouldn't worry that kids could stumble over erotica, I'm sure some go looking for it. But kids could be seriously screwed up for life seeing images that that community promotes.

Re: icon is directed at 6a/lj

[lindsical.livejournal.com]

Oops, in my haste and anger to post...

dead_babies

Re: icon is directed at 6a/lj

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Dude... just... *headdesk*

[x-shabutie-x.livejournal.com]

Hear hear

On the other end as a COD sufferer, I am still battling my doctors for help with my ED, the thinspirationists don't help people like me either.

[avonette.livejournal.com]

*applauds loudly*

Sick, disgusting people. coffeechica should have Mars bars forced down her throat at every opportunity! This is a brilliantly written post & I hope that they sit up & take notice.

Anyway, I'd like to know why society thinks that it's so appalling to be shaped like a woman - personally I love my curves!

R.xx

[mijan.livejournal.com]

No, that's not the sort of thing that I'd suggest as a punishment for anyone. Not even close. I think that she ought to be forced to visit late-stage anorexia sufferers, and to see what it's really like.

I don't understand why society tries to force unrealistic stantards on women. Curves are beautiful. Muscles are beautiful. But when you're assaulted with so many influences saying that you're not good enough... you'll do almost anything to make the standard. It's craziness.