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mijanHello loves! I'm back from Lumos! For those of you who weren't paying attention, I just spent a week in Las Vegas, for the 2006 Harry Potter convention, Lumos. It was AWESOME. My god, it was awesome. The resort was awesome. The slashers were awesome (but we knew that). The panels were awesome. The crackfic was awesome. Just LOVED it.
I'd start a shout-out right now to all the people I met (and got to see again), but I think it would take all night to list them. So, a quick mix of real names, screen names, and nicknames - Kriken, Emmagrant, Geoviki, Kayla, Stephanie, Beth, Meghan, Alax, Mare, The Queen of the Badger Bitches, our purple friend Violet (*wink!*), Furiosity, Anneke, coffeejunki, taradiane, Myra, Slughorn, Australian Snape, Logospilgrim, Gypsy, Genii... okay, I'm cutting it off right there because my brain is mush, and I can't remember anyone else by name right now. I know, it's awful. But it's something like 100 degrees here right now, and HUMID, and the air conditioner I bought is too fucking big, and requires tools I don't have. The fucker from Sears... if I could get my hands around his scrawney little neck right now...
*cough*
Okay, for those of you who were at the Crackfic panel, I think there was a standing request for me to post the BNF Deathmatch Crackfic that I scribbled down and read aloud at the end of the panel. Well, I lost the fic. It was tucked into my yearbook, and I lost my yearbook. But, alas, I think I remember enough to revise, and make it even better. So, by popular request:
It was hot. Very hot. Mid-day in Las Vegas is always hot. But at the Lumos Convention, things were really heating up.
Fandom Heavyweights Geoviki and Furiosity were being held apart at an armslength as they made their way to the hot tub, muscles straining and eyes bulging. Never had the stakes been so high. No single fic, no single author - not even a ship - was under the gun. No, this time, the very definition of Crackfic was on the line.
Geoviki stalked forward evenly, shoulders hunched forward, her eyes grey and stormy. Grey like the sea in winter. Smokey grey, like the grey of smoke over the last firey embers. Perhaps even gunmetal grey. She flexed her muscles beneath her skin-tight t-shirt, knuckles cracking, but refused to look to the left, past Emmagrant, to Furiosity.
Furiosity, for her part, was... furious. And hot. Especially because she had stripped down to her leather underwear. Thong. With chains.
"I think you might want to take those chains off," Emmagrant said uneasily. "We don't need anyone bleeding out in the hot tub." (Of course, the fact that Emma was hoping the hot tub would be available for a topless fangirl orgy that night might have had something to do with her concern.)
"The chains can stay," Viki growled. "All the easier for me to drag her under the water."
"Viki..."
"I'll wrap these chains around your scrawny little neck!" Furiosity hissed, needing again to be held back by a pair of fawning fangirls in togas. Somewhere back in the crowd, another fangirl yelled out, "No! Wrap them around my neck! Please?!?"
Emma sighed and mumbled under her breath. "We've got a kinky bunch tonight." Apparently, she wasn't quiet enough, because a cheer went up through the crowd.
The hoard of fangirls followed the two contenders and their nervous referee through the resort grounds, past the wedding gazebo (where it appeared that Snape and and Lucius #4 were snogging madly), around the pools, and towards the hot tub. Confused Muggles fled before the gaggle of bedsheet and leather-clad slashers. Mothers grabbed their children and covered their eyes. Men screamed like the chubby Capital One guy. A duck quacked.
Finally, the throng arrived at the hot tub, but the sacred site for BNF Deathmatch Lumos '06 was already occupied by two young men. A slender, pale blond with smokey, shining, silvery grey eyes was stretched lazily with his legs across the lap of nicely muscled, bespectacled, emerald-eyed stud with wild raven hair. The blond cocked his head at the fangirls, appraising the leather adornments on some of them as they all stood, silently stunned.
Finally, he nodded in approval. "Ladies, ladies, come right in! Plenty of room for such a well appointed group." He tilted his head towards Furiosity in acknowledgement. "Nice chains."
"Uh... er... thanks... er..."
The dark-haired man ran his fingers through the other's blond hair, then winked. "Yes, do come in. The water is... hot."
~FIN~
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no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 03:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 03:36 am (UTC)I told you, my brain is mush. And I can't for the life of me remember other LJ's right now. Bed. Work in the morning. So fucking hot here... not in a good way.
*ded*
no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 03:34 am (UTC)Glad you had so much fun at Lumos! I still remember how nice you were to my roomie and me at TWH, even though we only met for a few moments. Stay cool now that you're home! (And I hope it's at least a wee bit cooler in your state than it is in the nearby one where I live.)
no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 05:53 pm (UTC):)
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Date: 2006-08-02 03:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 05:54 pm (UTC)*grins*
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Date: 2006-08-02 03:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 05:56 pm (UTC)Ennervate!
Much better. :)
So... when do we get to see you WEAR that outfit?
no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 03:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 05:56 pm (UTC)QUACK!
*giggle*
no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 03:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 05:57 pm (UTC)*sigh*
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 03:53 am (UTC)Of course, the fact that Emma was hoping the hot tub would be available for a topless fangirl orgy that night might have had something to do with her concern
that cracked me up!!
no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 05:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 03:55 am (UTC)*snicker*
It was nice meeting you. *g*
no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 05:59 pm (UTC)And I'm glad I could make you laugh. :D
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Date: 2006-08-02 05:32 am (UTC)Oh man, why is Lumos over??? WHY ISN'T IT NEXT AUGUST YET?!
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Date: 2006-08-04 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 06:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 06:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 06:36 am (UTC)Definately missing the nice peppermint tingle now - how did your roulette go?
no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 06:02 pm (UTC)And yes, the peppermint was nice. The whole experience was very weird, but fun. Did your fingers start tingling too?
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 07:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 06:03 pm (UTC)Hmmm... should I try my hand at real crackfic? Something about Harry, Draco, and a turkey baster?
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 08:07 am (UTC)Sounds like my kinda deathmatch!
no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 06:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 09:00 am (UTC)kwhwqgdfgagwfjADGJAFGC
WHY OH WHY DO I HAVE TO BE NONRICH AND IN COLLEGE AND AT HOME LAST WEEK WHYYYYY
no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 06:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 10:51 am (UTC)xoxo
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Date: 2006-08-04 06:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 11:21 am (UTC)was great to see you again (even though we didn't really talk), i still say if any girl could tempt me into a snog fest it would be you.
speaking of your gorgeous self, i've got some shots of that pose you did with K at the end (you remember, the one where you shouldn't have been using your knees to lift her dead weight? [*looks stern*]) you were saying yo uwanted a copy. still need one?
no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 11:25 am (UTC)And... er... snogfest? Why am I the last person to know these things? Although I'd also say that I'm anything but "gorgeous", especially as half the people at the convention couldn't tell if I was a boy or a girl. And if you'd wanted to talk to me, you should have just grabbed me! Why didn't you? *sniffle*
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 12:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 06:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 03:24 pm (UTC)Was great meeting and hanging with you. Also nice to get a bit acquainted with the Malfoys, who were quite endearing. Oh, and sorry about the off-the-wall Red Sox comment. What can I say except by that point I was pretty much the walking dead. Cheers!
no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 06:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 03:35 pm (UTC)In any case, I had a great time meeting you! It was...awesome! XD
no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 06:08 pm (UTC)YAY for awesome meetings! *is happy and wibbley*
(no subject)
From:ftw
Date: 2006-08-02 04:17 pm (UTC)Re: ftw
Date: 2006-08-04 06:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 12:04 am (UTC)About those socks... If you're still interested, would you ping me offline (phoenixw@firebird-suite.com) and we can discuss? I've been looking for Gryffindor colors in sock yarn, and I think I've found some likely candidates.
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Date: 2006-08-03 03:39 am (UTC)Hearing you read that at the panel was hilarious. Thanks for posting it.
Er, and now for a couple of sentences I never could have predicted I would write: I am the owner of the stuffed ferret that you put down your pants at the H/D lunch meetup. If you want a picture of you with a white ferret sticking out of your fly, let me know. ;)
Ah, fandom...
no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 09:58 am (UTC)Glad you liked the crackfic! I was so worried when I read it that nobody would like it, or that it would be seen as presumptuous or offensive. I was thrilled by the reaction I got. :)
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 04:30 pm (UTC)In other news... I figured I should maybe, y'know, add you. I taught the history of magic class (woohoo!) and generally just kept running into you the entire duration of Lumos. I also have your performance from GoF safely on my camcorder. *pats camcorder*
So, consider yourself friended. *grins*
no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 06:11 pm (UTC)And yay for liking the crackfic!
Also, I heard great things about your history of magic class. Do you have a written lesson-plan? I'd love to read it.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 05:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 06:12 pm (UTC)*blinks* Wait. I have an idea...
no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 06:27 pm (UTC)I know what you mean about the heat and the humidity. It seems so much worse after the dry heat of Vegas. Gahg. It is so bad here we actually had severe, severe thunderstorm and tornado warnings last night. Good luck with the AC, and just remember to hide the body of the Sears guy really well.
Take care of yourself Harry and I really hope things are going ok at the Manor.