Fic: "Crossfire" (18/19)
Nov. 5th, 2010 06:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mijanTitle: "Crossfire, Part 18"
Author: Mijan
Series: ST: XI
Character/Pairing(s): Kirk&McCoy, Pike, Scotty
Rating: PG-13
Author’s Notes: This story is part of the Academy-era story arc, which includes “Convergence” and “And All the King’s Men.” “Crossfire” is a direct sequel. Several things in this story will not make sense unless you’ve read AAtKM first.
Summary: Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy are on top of the world at the academy until it all comes crashing down around them. Trapped in their own mystery of politics, sabotage, and possible murder, it quickly becomes impossible to know who to trust. Worse, Jim might still be a target. With a dangerous criminal on the loose and Academy leadership not doing enough, Jim and Bones have to get their lives back together and find out what happened... before it happens again.
*********
CROSSFIRE, Part 18
It took Jim a moment to fight past the odd disorientation that clung to him as he woke up on Saturday morning. Bones’ dorm room was familiar as always, but he was more accustomed to the view from the couch. His brain was fuzzy, and the light streaming in the window was soothing and soft. Jim blinked a few times, trying to remember why today was so different.
There was a clanking sound from the kitchen, and Jim caught the aroma of Bones’ best coffee filling the air. He grinned to himself, stretched... and noticed the duraplast splint on his hand.
And it all came flooding back.
With a groan, he sat up in bed. “Hey Bones, is the coffee ready?” His voice was rough in his throat.
“Yeah, Jim. Just a moment. I’ll bring you some.”
That almost tugged a smile back onto his face. “I’m not an invalid, Bones,” he said, standing up unsteadily and walking around the room divider. “I know you have a genetic need to play nursemaid, but I can get my own coffee.”
Bones greeted him with his best scowl. “I’m a doctor, not a damned nursemaid, kid, and you’d better remember that.”
Jim chuckled dryly, grabbing a mug from the cabinet. “No problem. So, doctor, I kinda forgot to ask, when does the splint come off?”
“Angels and saints,” Bones mumbled to himself. “And here I thought you’d learned some patience in all of this.” He reached over with the carafe and filled Jim’s mug before topping off his own canteen.
“I’m patient, Bones. Just asking.”
“Just until tomorrow, kid, then a couple of days without putting weight or pressure on your hand. Simple, clean breaks.” He held up his mug and gave Jim a meaningful look. “But next time, try not punching holes in the walls in the first place.”
Jim grimaced and took a sip of his coffee, following Bones to the table. “Well, call it a thinking decision. Actually, Bones, you should be proud of me for that one.”
Eyebrows furrowed together darkly. “Proud of you for busting your hand through a wall?”
“It was either that or Sven’s face.”
Skepticism was replaced by begrudging understanding. “Okay. I can accept that. Mostly. Although the bastard would have deserved it.” He looked at Jim intently for a moment before heaving a sigh into his cup of coffee. “So, Jim -”
“How much did I say last night?” Jim interrupted, not wanting to let the conversation lead him. “I don’t really remember much.”
“Not surprised,” Bones mumbled. “You said you came back to your room and overheard Sven and Romano. Caught it all. You found the device you’d seen in the shuttlecraft engine - your roommate must have been building another one. And yeah, Jim... you were right this time. That was it. It... it really was your roommate.”
“Doing a fucking experiment,” Jim said vaguely.
“Yeah.”
Thoughts swirled in Jim’s mind - Sven and Romano and the insanity of the past few weeks. Like a dampening field fading away, his mind suddenly seemed clearer, and concepts began snapping together. Small snippets of information that had seemed irrelevant or inconsequential began weaving into a pattern.
“Sven said that Romano ran into him... he wasn’t part of Sven’s plans,” he mused aloud. “Probably happened in the hangar, or somewhere in Engineering. Romano is a prestige hound. If he could ride the coattails of someone smarter, get his name on a successful project without much work, then that’s the sort of thing he might do to boost his record. And with his father in Engineering, it would have impressed the Admiral, too.” He glanced up at Bones.
In turn, Bones merely raised an eyebrow, inviting him to continue.
“That’s why Romano was so nervous about me thinking it was him. The day I got out of the hospital, Bones... that’s why he wanted to make sure I didn’t think he’d done it.”
“I figured as much,” he said with a slow nod, “once I put it together with what happened last night.”
“But there’s more to it.” Jim bit on his lower lip, worrying it between his teeth for a moment as he fiddled with his coffee cup in his hands. “I... forget what Romano and I were talking about... but he was pestering me at breakfast one morning... and I got pissed at him and said that his father was leading the investigation. I... I don’t think he knew.” Jim felt his own eyes go wide. “He didn’t know! Shit, Bones, they closed the investigation the next day!”
“Oh?” Bones was leaning over his coffee, listening intently.
Jim nodded. “I’ll bet he went to his father, knowing that the investigation could lead back to him. If he told his father himself, he might get out of it with less damage if the admiral decided to cover for him. Strategy - he was trying to protect his own ass. Admiral Romano would have had a personal interest in this mess, too. He’s in charge of the Engineering department, so all this engine competition stuff was under his umbrella. If his son was involved in causing the crash, it could have caused a lot of trouble for him. So it would make sense for him to call off the investigation before his own son was incriminated.”
“Makes sense,” Bones said with a growl. “Self-serving old bastards, but it’s the more pathetic side of human nature.”
“Maybe... but...” He stared at the far wall, with his mouth hanging slightly open. “It’s my fault that the official investigation was called off. If I hadn’t said anything to Cadet Romano, he couldn’t have gone to his father, and they wouldn’t have called off the investigation.”
“You couldn’t have known that, Jim,” Bones said with a note of disbelief. “There’s no way you could have even begun to predict that.”
“No.” Jim’s voice sounded bleak to his own ears. “But that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen that way. I set off a chain reaction, without even realizing it.”
Bones shrugged noncommittally and took a sip of his coffee.
“Just like I set off the chain reaction in the shuttlecraft.”
Bones’ hand slammed down on the table, hard enough to cause the coffee in his mug to ripple angrily. “You stop that garbage right now. Not another word of it, Jim.”
“No, Bones... I’m not blaming myself. Believe it or not.” He laughed, feeling a bit crazy. “You and Pike and everyone else have been telling me it’s not all about me. Ever since the crash... it’s not all about me. And fuck, Bones, you’re all dead-on right. Because it could have been anyone with an anti-social basketcase engineer for a roommate. Anyone who wasn’t careful enough with his passcode. Anyone who tried to fix the engine.” He laughed again; a sharp, abbreviated sound. “All the things I did, the mistakes I made, the shit I ran into... it could have been anyone.”
Bones was frowning now. “Jim?”
“I’m nothing special, Bones. That’s the point. I stumbled into a vat of shit, almost drowned in it, and was finally thrown a rope last night. I didn’t solve the mystery. Didn’t fix anything. I just... made it through.”
For a long moment, Bones stared at him pensively, then let out a heavy sigh. “Sometimes, kid, that’s good enough.”
“Sometimes.”
“But goddammit, Jim, if you ever downplay yourself... I don’t want to hear that out of you again. Do you read me?”
Jim gave a wan smile. “Loud and clear, Bones. Loud and clear.” He looked down at his coffee again. “Anyway, it really does all fit together. Even... shit, even the timing of when Sven cleaned out the room. That was also the night after I told Romano that his father was leading the investigation, right before the investigation was closed. Romano must have warned Sven, who decided the risk was too big, and decided to dump the whole project. No wonder he didn’t want me to help carry his crap out of the room. He was removing the evidence.” He shook his head in a twisted sort of amusement. “It was right under my nose the whole time. I should have seen it.”
“You didn’t see it before, Jim, but how could you expect yourself to? Nobody would have expected that. And head injuries can make it almost impossible to focus. But now that you’re...” Suddenly, a smile spread across Bones’ face.
“What, Bones?”
“Jim... you sound like you again.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re thinking. It’s this look you get... when you’re pulling a puzzle together out of midair. You get this look of clarity, like you can see everything.” He blinked a couple of times and grinned even more broadly. “It’s good to see it again.”
Jim smiled back, not fully feeling it, but he did understand exactly what Bones had meant. Maybe he’d finally healed. Perhaps it was just one of many spurts of improvement. Maybe he’d just needed a good shock to the system to snap him out of it. Or maybe, after all that, he just really needed answers. But still... “It feels pretty good, too.”
A slightly uneasy silence fell over the table as Bones went back to sipping his coffee, reading something on his PADD. Jim stared into the darkness of his coffee and wished he’d dumped some cream into it before sitting down, but not much feeling like moving again. Bones kept cream in his small fridge just for him; Bones always drank his coffee black. It was one of those odd little things that defined their friendship. The thought helped, even if he didn’t much feel like getting up. The knowledge that it was there was enough.
The scraping of a chair made Jim look up. Bones stepped over to the fridge, pulled out the small container of cream, and came back with it. Without a word, he poured just the right amount into Jim’s cup, then put the cream back in the fridge. Jim watched the whole thing silently, just staring as Bones sat back down.
“What, kid?”
Slowly, Jim smiled, and it felt like the first real smile he’d had in ages. Without a word, he raised his coffee cup in a simple thanks and took a sip.
*********
“Come.” Pike’s voice sounded through the comm panel, and the door slid open.
Trying not to feel nervous, Jim walked into Captain Pike’s office. His most recent visit to that office had been extremely unpleasant, and the memory was still fresh in his mind. He came to the position of attention and started to bring his hand up to salute, but Pike waved him down.
“Relax, Kirk. Have a seat. If we’ve both got to be in here on a Saturday, let’s not make this any more stressful than it has been already.”
Jim frowned as he eased himself into the seat. “You told me to report, sir. I assumed it was formal.”
To his surprise, Pike shrugged. “Appearances. Actually, I just wanted you to know first, before the whole campus finds out on Monday.”
“Know what?” Jim asked, but he already had a pretty good suspicion.
Pike nodded knowingly. “The whole cover-up unraveled last night, Kirk. This... it’s one of the biggest scandals the Academy has seen in decades... and it’s so... just so...”
“Stupid?” Jim supplied.
A grim nod. “That would be an appropriate description. The Admiral covered up for Cadet Romano in order to save face. Cadet Romano covered for Cadet Hagenbuch at first because he wanted credit for work he hadn’t done, and then later so he wouldn’t get in trouble, too.”
Jim pressed his lips together. “I figured as much.”
“I thought you might. And Hagenbuch... is apparently a sociopath.”
Jim felt his eyes go wide. “Whoa, wait a minute - I was rooming with a damned sociopath? I... I’m sorry, sir, but how the hell did he get past the psych profile?”
“I hate to say it, but the same way you get past all sorts of technicalities - but in his case, it’s a bit more sinister. You’re both damned geniuses. He knew what the psych eval was looking for, and breezed through. Plus, with an IQ like his, people were probably too willing to overlook a couple of psych glitches.”
Jim sagged back in his chair, letting out a slow breath through tightly pursed lips. “I guess I should be glad he didn’t just murder me in my sleep.”
Pike shook his head. “He’s more self-serving and strategic than that. An intentional murder wouldn’t fit his profile.”
Jim couldn’t hold back the derisive snort. “How reassuring.” Then a cold sensation lodged in his throat. “But he doesn’t care about collateral damage.”
“No, son,” Pike said softly. “He doesn’t.”
“Which is why... even after what happened to Tambe -” And what almost happened to me... “- he was willing to try it again.”
Pike nodded, then said, “But he won’t get the chance.”
Jim sat up a bit straighter in his seat, feeling a wire-tight tension in his back. “So... what’s going to happen to him? To all of them?”
“Gone. All of them.”
And in a snap, the tension released, and Jim sagged into his chair, head resting against the back as he blew out a deep breath. Staring at the ceiling, not looking at Pike, he asked, “Where?”
“Hagenbuch is being taken to a psychiatric detention ward. They'll evaluate him further, but whether he ends up staying there or going to a regular detention facility, he won’t be getting out for a long time.”
Jim nodded vaguely. “Good. And the Romano duo?”
“Cadet Romano has already been removed from the Academy. He’ll be tried by a Federation court on charges of obstructing justice and hindering a murder investigation. And the Admiral...” There was a slight pause, and Jim tipped his head back down to look at Pike’s tense, grim, apologetic look. “A Starfleet officer needs to hold himself to a higher standard, Kirk. His duty... first and foremost... is to the truth. Not just lies, but hidden knowledge, information not shared... it’s how people die out there in the black.”
There was an odd note in Pike’s voice, and Jim frowned, leaning forward in his seat. “Sir?”
“Cadet and Admiral Romano both willfully withheld information. Neither of them caused the accident... but in Starfleet’s eyes, they’re almost as guilty. Kirk... when you’re out there in the black, maybe even in command, you need every piece of information you can get. That’s why you need your people to communicate with you. At all costs, whatever effort or personal sacrifice, your first duty is to the truth.”
Jim swallowed tightly, now knowing why this had shaken Captain Pike so deeply, but realizing it must be significant. “Yes, sir,” he said, swearing a solemn oath to himself never to withhold vital information. Nobody would die because Jim Kirk refused to stick his neck out.
Pike nodded evenly, but his face was tight. “As I said, as an officer – a flag officer, no less – the Admiral needed to be held to a higher standard. He was reduced in rank to Ensign before having his commission revoked. Pending judgment, he’s looking at serving a solid ten years in a Starfleet detention center.”
“That’s...” Jim hesitated to say good news, but he was glad to hear that something was being done. “I’m glad they caught them and solved the mystery, but... sir... if you don’t mind me asking, you seem really troubled by what happened to the Admiral.”
Pike sighed and leaned heavily on his desk. “I’m troubled by the whole thing, Kirk. Troubled that it happened in the first place.” He clenched his fists in front of him, and his jaw tensed fiercely. “That you were the one to discover the truth in such a horrible way.”
Unsure what to say to that, Jim gave an awkward nod.
“And it’s just as troubling,” Pike continued, “if not more so, to learn that a Starfleet officer of such a high rank... in such a position of trust... would violate the trust of every person serving under him like that. It’s a blow to every senior officer in the Fleet.”
“Including you,” Jim said, understanding.
“Including me.” He shook his head to himself. “There were some ugly things that happened in that investigation, Kirk. Things you shouldn’t know about. Things that you’ll have to pretend you know nothing about. Officers maneuvering to promote their damned favorite engine designs, people playing games with need-to-know information. It was ugly, but I never thought it would be this dirty. Stupid coincidences and power games. Too many little mistakes and missed pieces of information along the way. They’re going to review the entire course of the investigation to see what was missed, but it won’t change what happened.” He looked up, eyes sharp and dark. “I’m just sorry that you got caught in the crossfire.”
Jim could only nod. He had nothing to say. Caught in the crossfire. That’s all this was. It was an odd reminder that he was just another person in a much larger universe. And sometimes, shit happens, and you just happen to be there when it does.
“But,” Pike said briskly, suddenly sitting up much straighter. “Enough of that for now. I’ve actually got some good news to share with you.”
Jim raised his eyebrows. Good news would be a welcome and refreshing change. “Oh?”
“I spoke to a few people this morning. Admiral Barnett, Captain Tanner... some of the folks down in the Piloting and Navigation program. I got the preliminary report back from the counselor you saw, too, and it was very much in your favor. So everyone agreed...” His voice trailed off, and reached down and tapped his PADD, then spun it around on his desk so Jim could read it.
Memorandum: The Piloting and Navigation Program hereby commissions the trainee flight team known as Nova Squadron as a five-pilot flight team. This shall be regarded as a trial commission, and may be revoked if early training records indicate that a five-pilot team is sub-optimal for training purposes. Charter members shall include Flight Team Leader Cadet Hoshi Okoru, Cadet Jeanelle d’Eon, Cadet Avery Freeman, Cadet James Kirk, and Cadet Thaleb. Authorized by Admiral Barnett, Starfleet Academy Command.
Jim read it quickly, then again, to make certain he was reading it correctly. When he looked up from the PADD, Captain Pike was leaning back in his chair, watching him with a smile that seemed deeply pleased, and maybe a little bit proud. Jim swallowed past the lump that was rapidly forming in his throat. “Sir?”
“It’s just a trial run, Kirk. They may decide that a flight squad really does need six pilots, and that you’ll need to find a sixth by the start of the next semester, or in the very least, by the start of the next academic year, but for now... your team is still together.” He tilted his head towards the door. “So... go tell them. Everyone could use some good news today.”
Pike stood, and Jim was on his feet a split second later. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he wasn’t sure if it was the thrill of keeping his flight squad together, the relief of having answers, the vindication of having been cleared by the counselor, or some odd combination, but he couldn’t wait to run out the doors of Archer Hall and comm his teammates. He had to tell Bones what happened to Sven and the Romanos. Had to...
“And Kirk?”
“Yes, sir?”
“Just a suggestion… not strictly as your advisor… maybe you should send your mother a communiqué. I think she might appreciate it after all this.”
Jim opened his mouth to protest, but held back. For a moment, he let the thought simmer, feeling it out, re-testing his gut reaction. Slowly, he nodded. “I think I’ll do that, sir. Anything else?”
At that, Pike smirked. “Yes, actually. If you’d formed your fist properly and struck with the flat of your two front knuckles, you wouldn’t have smashed your hand along with the wall. Just some valuable information, in case you ever need it again.”
A flush of embarrassment burned hot in his cheeks. Of course he knew that. “Yes, Captain.”
“Good then. So get out of my office! I’d love to have part of my Saturday to myself, you know.”
Not needing any further encouragement, Jim threw a quick salute and hurried out of the office. He had his comm unit in his hand before he’d even gotten back outside. He had to comm Okoru. He had to comm Bones. But as he raised the communicator to his mouth, he paused and looked around.
The campus was almost deserted around him. It wasn’t even 1100 hours yet, and only a few cadets and cadre were crossing the quad under the broken clouds of an early November sky. The breeze was crisp and cool, and for the first time in ages, Jim felt as though he could take a properly deep breath. It seemed as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and now unburdened, he could start moving forward again.
A second sensation gripped him. Although he felt blissfully free compared to the stifling stress of the previous few weeks, he also felt oddly small, and possibly even insignificant.
Life on the campus was rolling on, and it would continue whether or not he was there. Whether or not he’d learned the truth last night, and had been given the news of the aftermath this morning. Whether or not he’d joined Starfleet in the first place. It wasn’t about him.
Beyond that, the grandiosity of the Golden Gate Bridge rose above the rooftops of the campus buildings... a monument to human engineering that had lasted centuries and was still functioning today. It would still be there tomorrow, and probably a hundred years later - with or without Jim Kirk. And far beyond the bright blue of the sky, an entire galaxy spread out, teeming with sentient life, all of which would go on with or without him. And then, past the farthest reaches of the galactic rim, another million, million galaxies like this one.
And here was James T. Kirk, standing on the surface of one small, class-M planet... a speck on the face of the universe.
Oddly, the thought was reassuring.
It meant that he was free to enjoy that existence, and make of it what he would. All things would pass, and life would go on. And he was determined that his own personal go of it was going to be a blast.
With a small smile, he flipped open his comm. “Cadet Kirk to Cadet Okoru...”
*********
Leonard had left Jim on the main campus quad to meet with Pike, then caught the shuttle over to Starfleet Medical. To his amusement, Doctor Swerdlow had wanted him to take a look at some of the early results they were getting with his neurovascular regen units. With the expanded resource base for the project, it was moving along quite rapidly, and would probably go to clinical trials within a couple more months. It was hard to watch it progress without him, but at least the project wasn’t dead. And at least they were keeping him in the loop.
But the meeting had also turned into a discussion about his new aviophobia project, spanning the topics of psychology, neurophysiology, and even some unorthodox cellular regeneration techniques. Leonard’s abstract and initial results had been accepted as the basis of a full research project, and he would be doing rounds in the psych department during his research. Not as much fun as surgery, perhaps, but a good challenge for him.
Plus, if he were going into the black for any sort of long-term assignment, it would be a significant benefit for him to get a better grasp of the psychological issues that could plague starship personnel. And, of course, to help him get a better grasp of his own psychological issues.
On long nights, he had wondered why he’d gotten a doctorate in psych, only to avoid the topic like the plague. Maybe the answer was watching him from the other side of the mirror.
Either way, it had been a good and encouraging meeting with Doctor Swerdlow, and now, Leonard actually had the rest of the afternoon off.
He also had a text message waiting for him when he checked his comm.
Bones, when you’re done with your meeting, come find me on the quad, outside the Student Center. - Jim
Leonard rolled his eyes. Presumptuous kid, figuring he’d come right along... but Jim was right. He would.
The shuttle back to the main campus was almost empty - typical for a Saturday. In the relative silence of the shuttle cabin, Leonard sagged into his seat and took a few slow, deep breaths, letting his body relax from his head, through his shoulders, down to the core of his stomach. He was into his third repetition before he realized he’d started his pre-flight coping routine without even consciously deciding to do it. And it was working.
Doctor, heal thyself, he thought, but this time, with a touch of smugness.
The shuttle took off, and he watched the water of the bay fly by underneath him. Nice day. Only a touch of fog. Chilly, yes, but it was November. The shuttle paralleled the Golden Gate Bridge just to the east of the old structure, then flew up and over the crest of the Presidio to touch down on the shuttle pad of the main campus. The hatch opened with a soft hiss, and Leonard walked out of the craft, pleased to discover that his legs weren’t shaking.
Yeah, he could do this.
He began making his way past the admin buildings and a couple of the lecture halls towards the Student Center. As he approached, he could make out a small cluster of cadets, seated on a couple of benches just in front of the main entrance. Five of them, and from that distance, it looked like four humans and an Andorian.
Nova Squadron.
Leonard smiled as he got a little bit closer, and could hear the faint hints of what sounded like a very enthusiastic conversation. Jim’s voice seemed to carry over all of them. He couldn’t hear what was being said, but the tone was enough to let him know that Jim was okay. Happy.
And then the Andorian nudged Jim and pointed across the quad towards Leonard, and Jim looked up. Jim grinned and he held up a finger, clearly saying, Just a minute.
Leonard nodded and watched as the whole team got to their feet. Hugs and claps on shoulders were exchanged all around, and then Jim was jogging towards him down the path, grinning broadly.
“Hope I didn’t interrupt anything,” Leonard said lightly as Jim came to an easy halt alongside him.
“Nah. Just had to share the news with my team.”
“About your roommate, and Romano, and all that?”
To his surprise, Jim actually shook his head. “There’s that, but... we’re getting to keep our team, Bones!” He waved back at the rest of his flight team once, and then started walking down the path, indicating for Leonard to follow. They fell in step next to each other as Jim continued. “First five-man flight team in the Academy’s history. We’ve got permission, and the squad was re-commissioned under that charter. We’re going to make something special of it.”
Jim’s enthusiasm was infectious, and Leonard felt himself grinning, too. “Jim, if you’re part of it, I’m sure it could be nothing less.”
“No, Bones. Not like that.” He glanced sideways at Leonard, his face suddenly serious. “It’s not about me. Not this time.”
Leonard looked back at him. There were so many things he could say, but at the moment, none of them were important. So, with a nod, he said, “Okay, kid. Okay.”
“Good,” Jim said with a decisive nod. “So...what’s for lunch?”
With an easy laugh that he hadn’t experienced in a long time, Leonard inclined his head. “Anything but Chinese?”
Jim chuckled. “Sounds fair. There’s a Mediterranean place on the south end of town I’d been meaning to try.”
“I could deal with that. Lead the way, Jim.”
*********
(To Part Nineteen...)
Author: Mijan
Series: ST: XI
Character/Pairing(s): Kirk&McCoy, Pike, Scotty
Rating: PG-13
Author’s Notes: This story is part of the Academy-era story arc, which includes “Convergence” and “And All the King’s Men.” “Crossfire” is a direct sequel. Several things in this story will not make sense unless you’ve read AAtKM first.
Summary: Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy are on top of the world at the academy until it all comes crashing down around them. Trapped in their own mystery of politics, sabotage, and possible murder, it quickly becomes impossible to know who to trust. Worse, Jim might still be a target. With a dangerous criminal on the loose and Academy leadership not doing enough, Jim and Bones have to get their lives back together and find out what happened... before it happens again.
It took Jim a moment to fight past the odd disorientation that clung to him as he woke up on Saturday morning. Bones’ dorm room was familiar as always, but he was more accustomed to the view from the couch. His brain was fuzzy, and the light streaming in the window was soothing and soft. Jim blinked a few times, trying to remember why today was so different.
There was a clanking sound from the kitchen, and Jim caught the aroma of Bones’ best coffee filling the air. He grinned to himself, stretched... and noticed the duraplast splint on his hand.
And it all came flooding back.
With a groan, he sat up in bed. “Hey Bones, is the coffee ready?” His voice was rough in his throat.
“Yeah, Jim. Just a moment. I’ll bring you some.”
That almost tugged a smile back onto his face. “I’m not an invalid, Bones,” he said, standing up unsteadily and walking around the room divider. “I know you have a genetic need to play nursemaid, but I can get my own coffee.”
Bones greeted him with his best scowl. “I’m a doctor, not a damned nursemaid, kid, and you’d better remember that.”
Jim chuckled dryly, grabbing a mug from the cabinet. “No problem. So, doctor, I kinda forgot to ask, when does the splint come off?”
“Angels and saints,” Bones mumbled to himself. “And here I thought you’d learned some patience in all of this.” He reached over with the carafe and filled Jim’s mug before topping off his own canteen.
“I’m patient, Bones. Just asking.”
“Just until tomorrow, kid, then a couple of days without putting weight or pressure on your hand. Simple, clean breaks.” He held up his mug and gave Jim a meaningful look. “But next time, try not punching holes in the walls in the first place.”
Jim grimaced and took a sip of his coffee, following Bones to the table. “Well, call it a thinking decision. Actually, Bones, you should be proud of me for that one.”
Eyebrows furrowed together darkly. “Proud of you for busting your hand through a wall?”
“It was either that or Sven’s face.”
Skepticism was replaced by begrudging understanding. “Okay. I can accept that. Mostly. Although the bastard would have deserved it.” He looked at Jim intently for a moment before heaving a sigh into his cup of coffee. “So, Jim -”
“How much did I say last night?” Jim interrupted, not wanting to let the conversation lead him. “I don’t really remember much.”
“Not surprised,” Bones mumbled. “You said you came back to your room and overheard Sven and Romano. Caught it all. You found the device you’d seen in the shuttlecraft engine - your roommate must have been building another one. And yeah, Jim... you were right this time. That was it. It... it really was your roommate.”
“Doing a fucking experiment,” Jim said vaguely.
“Yeah.”
Thoughts swirled in Jim’s mind - Sven and Romano and the insanity of the past few weeks. Like a dampening field fading away, his mind suddenly seemed clearer, and concepts began snapping together. Small snippets of information that had seemed irrelevant or inconsequential began weaving into a pattern.
“Sven said that Romano ran into him... he wasn’t part of Sven’s plans,” he mused aloud. “Probably happened in the hangar, or somewhere in Engineering. Romano is a prestige hound. If he could ride the coattails of someone smarter, get his name on a successful project without much work, then that’s the sort of thing he might do to boost his record. And with his father in Engineering, it would have impressed the Admiral, too.” He glanced up at Bones.
In turn, Bones merely raised an eyebrow, inviting him to continue.
“That’s why Romano was so nervous about me thinking it was him. The day I got out of the hospital, Bones... that’s why he wanted to make sure I didn’t think he’d done it.”
“I figured as much,” he said with a slow nod, “once I put it together with what happened last night.”
“But there’s more to it.” Jim bit on his lower lip, worrying it between his teeth for a moment as he fiddled with his coffee cup in his hands. “I... forget what Romano and I were talking about... but he was pestering me at breakfast one morning... and I got pissed at him and said that his father was leading the investigation. I... I don’t think he knew.” Jim felt his own eyes go wide. “He didn’t know! Shit, Bones, they closed the investigation the next day!”
“Oh?” Bones was leaning over his coffee, listening intently.
Jim nodded. “I’ll bet he went to his father, knowing that the investigation could lead back to him. If he told his father himself, he might get out of it with less damage if the admiral decided to cover for him. Strategy - he was trying to protect his own ass. Admiral Romano would have had a personal interest in this mess, too. He’s in charge of the Engineering department, so all this engine competition stuff was under his umbrella. If his son was involved in causing the crash, it could have caused a lot of trouble for him. So it would make sense for him to call off the investigation before his own son was incriminated.”
“Makes sense,” Bones said with a growl. “Self-serving old bastards, but it’s the more pathetic side of human nature.”
“Maybe... but...” He stared at the far wall, with his mouth hanging slightly open. “It’s my fault that the official investigation was called off. If I hadn’t said anything to Cadet Romano, he couldn’t have gone to his father, and they wouldn’t have called off the investigation.”
“You couldn’t have known that, Jim,” Bones said with a note of disbelief. “There’s no way you could have even begun to predict that.”
“No.” Jim’s voice sounded bleak to his own ears. “But that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen that way. I set off a chain reaction, without even realizing it.”
Bones shrugged noncommittally and took a sip of his coffee.
“Just like I set off the chain reaction in the shuttlecraft.”
Bones’ hand slammed down on the table, hard enough to cause the coffee in his mug to ripple angrily. “You stop that garbage right now. Not another word of it, Jim.”
“No, Bones... I’m not blaming myself. Believe it or not.” He laughed, feeling a bit crazy. “You and Pike and everyone else have been telling me it’s not all about me. Ever since the crash... it’s not all about me. And fuck, Bones, you’re all dead-on right. Because it could have been anyone with an anti-social basketcase engineer for a roommate. Anyone who wasn’t careful enough with his passcode. Anyone who tried to fix the engine.” He laughed again; a sharp, abbreviated sound. “All the things I did, the mistakes I made, the shit I ran into... it could have been anyone.”
Bones was frowning now. “Jim?”
“I’m nothing special, Bones. That’s the point. I stumbled into a vat of shit, almost drowned in it, and was finally thrown a rope last night. I didn’t solve the mystery. Didn’t fix anything. I just... made it through.”
For a long moment, Bones stared at him pensively, then let out a heavy sigh. “Sometimes, kid, that’s good enough.”
“Sometimes.”
“But goddammit, Jim, if you ever downplay yourself... I don’t want to hear that out of you again. Do you read me?”
Jim gave a wan smile. “Loud and clear, Bones. Loud and clear.” He looked down at his coffee again. “Anyway, it really does all fit together. Even... shit, even the timing of when Sven cleaned out the room. That was also the night after I told Romano that his father was leading the investigation, right before the investigation was closed. Romano must have warned Sven, who decided the risk was too big, and decided to dump the whole project. No wonder he didn’t want me to help carry his crap out of the room. He was removing the evidence.” He shook his head in a twisted sort of amusement. “It was right under my nose the whole time. I should have seen it.”
“You didn’t see it before, Jim, but how could you expect yourself to? Nobody would have expected that. And head injuries can make it almost impossible to focus. But now that you’re...” Suddenly, a smile spread across Bones’ face.
“What, Bones?”
“Jim... you sound like you again.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re thinking. It’s this look you get... when you’re pulling a puzzle together out of midair. You get this look of clarity, like you can see everything.” He blinked a couple of times and grinned even more broadly. “It’s good to see it again.”
Jim smiled back, not fully feeling it, but he did understand exactly what Bones had meant. Maybe he’d finally healed. Perhaps it was just one of many spurts of improvement. Maybe he’d just needed a good shock to the system to snap him out of it. Or maybe, after all that, he just really needed answers. But still... “It feels pretty good, too.”
A slightly uneasy silence fell over the table as Bones went back to sipping his coffee, reading something on his PADD. Jim stared into the darkness of his coffee and wished he’d dumped some cream into it before sitting down, but not much feeling like moving again. Bones kept cream in his small fridge just for him; Bones always drank his coffee black. It was one of those odd little things that defined their friendship. The thought helped, even if he didn’t much feel like getting up. The knowledge that it was there was enough.
The scraping of a chair made Jim look up. Bones stepped over to the fridge, pulled out the small container of cream, and came back with it. Without a word, he poured just the right amount into Jim’s cup, then put the cream back in the fridge. Jim watched the whole thing silently, just staring as Bones sat back down.
“What, kid?”
Slowly, Jim smiled, and it felt like the first real smile he’d had in ages. Without a word, he raised his coffee cup in a simple thanks and took a sip.
“Come.” Pike’s voice sounded through the comm panel, and the door slid open.
Trying not to feel nervous, Jim walked into Captain Pike’s office. His most recent visit to that office had been extremely unpleasant, and the memory was still fresh in his mind. He came to the position of attention and started to bring his hand up to salute, but Pike waved him down.
“Relax, Kirk. Have a seat. If we’ve both got to be in here on a Saturday, let’s not make this any more stressful than it has been already.”
Jim frowned as he eased himself into the seat. “You told me to report, sir. I assumed it was formal.”
To his surprise, Pike shrugged. “Appearances. Actually, I just wanted you to know first, before the whole campus finds out on Monday.”
“Know what?” Jim asked, but he already had a pretty good suspicion.
Pike nodded knowingly. “The whole cover-up unraveled last night, Kirk. This... it’s one of the biggest scandals the Academy has seen in decades... and it’s so... just so...”
“Stupid?” Jim supplied.
A grim nod. “That would be an appropriate description. The Admiral covered up for Cadet Romano in order to save face. Cadet Romano covered for Cadet Hagenbuch at first because he wanted credit for work he hadn’t done, and then later so he wouldn’t get in trouble, too.”
Jim pressed his lips together. “I figured as much.”
“I thought you might. And Hagenbuch... is apparently a sociopath.”
Jim felt his eyes go wide. “Whoa, wait a minute - I was rooming with a damned sociopath? I... I’m sorry, sir, but how the hell did he get past the psych profile?”
“I hate to say it, but the same way you get past all sorts of technicalities - but in his case, it’s a bit more sinister. You’re both damned geniuses. He knew what the psych eval was looking for, and breezed through. Plus, with an IQ like his, people were probably too willing to overlook a couple of psych glitches.”
Jim sagged back in his chair, letting out a slow breath through tightly pursed lips. “I guess I should be glad he didn’t just murder me in my sleep.”
Pike shook his head. “He’s more self-serving and strategic than that. An intentional murder wouldn’t fit his profile.”
Jim couldn’t hold back the derisive snort. “How reassuring.” Then a cold sensation lodged in his throat. “But he doesn’t care about collateral damage.”
“No, son,” Pike said softly. “He doesn’t.”
“Which is why... even after what happened to Tambe -” And what almost happened to me... “- he was willing to try it again.”
Pike nodded, then said, “But he won’t get the chance.”
Jim sat up a bit straighter in his seat, feeling a wire-tight tension in his back. “So... what’s going to happen to him? To all of them?”
“Gone. All of them.”
And in a snap, the tension released, and Jim sagged into his chair, head resting against the back as he blew out a deep breath. Staring at the ceiling, not looking at Pike, he asked, “Where?”
“Hagenbuch is being taken to a psychiatric detention ward. They'll evaluate him further, but whether he ends up staying there or going to a regular detention facility, he won’t be getting out for a long time.”
Jim nodded vaguely. “Good. And the Romano duo?”
“Cadet Romano has already been removed from the Academy. He’ll be tried by a Federation court on charges of obstructing justice and hindering a murder investigation. And the Admiral...” There was a slight pause, and Jim tipped his head back down to look at Pike’s tense, grim, apologetic look. “A Starfleet officer needs to hold himself to a higher standard, Kirk. His duty... first and foremost... is to the truth. Not just lies, but hidden knowledge, information not shared... it’s how people die out there in the black.”
There was an odd note in Pike’s voice, and Jim frowned, leaning forward in his seat. “Sir?”
“Cadet and Admiral Romano both willfully withheld information. Neither of them caused the accident... but in Starfleet’s eyes, they’re almost as guilty. Kirk... when you’re out there in the black, maybe even in command, you need every piece of information you can get. That’s why you need your people to communicate with you. At all costs, whatever effort or personal sacrifice, your first duty is to the truth.”
Jim swallowed tightly, now knowing why this had shaken Captain Pike so deeply, but realizing it must be significant. “Yes, sir,” he said, swearing a solemn oath to himself never to withhold vital information. Nobody would die because Jim Kirk refused to stick his neck out.
Pike nodded evenly, but his face was tight. “As I said, as an officer – a flag officer, no less – the Admiral needed to be held to a higher standard. He was reduced in rank to Ensign before having his commission revoked. Pending judgment, he’s looking at serving a solid ten years in a Starfleet detention center.”
“That’s...” Jim hesitated to say good news, but he was glad to hear that something was being done. “I’m glad they caught them and solved the mystery, but... sir... if you don’t mind me asking, you seem really troubled by what happened to the Admiral.”
Pike sighed and leaned heavily on his desk. “I’m troubled by the whole thing, Kirk. Troubled that it happened in the first place.” He clenched his fists in front of him, and his jaw tensed fiercely. “That you were the one to discover the truth in such a horrible way.”
Unsure what to say to that, Jim gave an awkward nod.
“And it’s just as troubling,” Pike continued, “if not more so, to learn that a Starfleet officer of such a high rank... in such a position of trust... would violate the trust of every person serving under him like that. It’s a blow to every senior officer in the Fleet.”
“Including you,” Jim said, understanding.
“Including me.” He shook his head to himself. “There were some ugly things that happened in that investigation, Kirk. Things you shouldn’t know about. Things that you’ll have to pretend you know nothing about. Officers maneuvering to promote their damned favorite engine designs, people playing games with need-to-know information. It was ugly, but I never thought it would be this dirty. Stupid coincidences and power games. Too many little mistakes and missed pieces of information along the way. They’re going to review the entire course of the investigation to see what was missed, but it won’t change what happened.” He looked up, eyes sharp and dark. “I’m just sorry that you got caught in the crossfire.”
Jim could only nod. He had nothing to say. Caught in the crossfire. That’s all this was. It was an odd reminder that he was just another person in a much larger universe. And sometimes, shit happens, and you just happen to be there when it does.
“But,” Pike said briskly, suddenly sitting up much straighter. “Enough of that for now. I’ve actually got some good news to share with you.”
Jim raised his eyebrows. Good news would be a welcome and refreshing change. “Oh?”
“I spoke to a few people this morning. Admiral Barnett, Captain Tanner... some of the folks down in the Piloting and Navigation program. I got the preliminary report back from the counselor you saw, too, and it was very much in your favor. So everyone agreed...” His voice trailed off, and reached down and tapped his PADD, then spun it around on his desk so Jim could read it.
Memorandum: The Piloting and Navigation Program hereby commissions the trainee flight team known as Nova Squadron as a five-pilot flight team. This shall be regarded as a trial commission, and may be revoked if early training records indicate that a five-pilot team is sub-optimal for training purposes. Charter members shall include Flight Team Leader Cadet Hoshi Okoru, Cadet Jeanelle d’Eon, Cadet Avery Freeman, Cadet James Kirk, and Cadet Thaleb. Authorized by Admiral Barnett, Starfleet Academy Command.
Jim read it quickly, then again, to make certain he was reading it correctly. When he looked up from the PADD, Captain Pike was leaning back in his chair, watching him with a smile that seemed deeply pleased, and maybe a little bit proud. Jim swallowed past the lump that was rapidly forming in his throat. “Sir?”
“It’s just a trial run, Kirk. They may decide that a flight squad really does need six pilots, and that you’ll need to find a sixth by the start of the next semester, or in the very least, by the start of the next academic year, but for now... your team is still together.” He tilted his head towards the door. “So... go tell them. Everyone could use some good news today.”
Pike stood, and Jim was on his feet a split second later. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he wasn’t sure if it was the thrill of keeping his flight squad together, the relief of having answers, the vindication of having been cleared by the counselor, or some odd combination, but he couldn’t wait to run out the doors of Archer Hall and comm his teammates. He had to tell Bones what happened to Sven and the Romanos. Had to...
“And Kirk?”
“Yes, sir?”
“Just a suggestion… not strictly as your advisor… maybe you should send your mother a communiqué. I think she might appreciate it after all this.”
Jim opened his mouth to protest, but held back. For a moment, he let the thought simmer, feeling it out, re-testing his gut reaction. Slowly, he nodded. “I think I’ll do that, sir. Anything else?”
At that, Pike smirked. “Yes, actually. If you’d formed your fist properly and struck with the flat of your two front knuckles, you wouldn’t have smashed your hand along with the wall. Just some valuable information, in case you ever need it again.”
A flush of embarrassment burned hot in his cheeks. Of course he knew that. “Yes, Captain.”
“Good then. So get out of my office! I’d love to have part of my Saturday to myself, you know.”
Not needing any further encouragement, Jim threw a quick salute and hurried out of the office. He had his comm unit in his hand before he’d even gotten back outside. He had to comm Okoru. He had to comm Bones. But as he raised the communicator to his mouth, he paused and looked around.
The campus was almost deserted around him. It wasn’t even 1100 hours yet, and only a few cadets and cadre were crossing the quad under the broken clouds of an early November sky. The breeze was crisp and cool, and for the first time in ages, Jim felt as though he could take a properly deep breath. It seemed as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and now unburdened, he could start moving forward again.
A second sensation gripped him. Although he felt blissfully free compared to the stifling stress of the previous few weeks, he also felt oddly small, and possibly even insignificant.
Life on the campus was rolling on, and it would continue whether or not he was there. Whether or not he’d learned the truth last night, and had been given the news of the aftermath this morning. Whether or not he’d joined Starfleet in the first place. It wasn’t about him.
Beyond that, the grandiosity of the Golden Gate Bridge rose above the rooftops of the campus buildings... a monument to human engineering that had lasted centuries and was still functioning today. It would still be there tomorrow, and probably a hundred years later - with or without Jim Kirk. And far beyond the bright blue of the sky, an entire galaxy spread out, teeming with sentient life, all of which would go on with or without him. And then, past the farthest reaches of the galactic rim, another million, million galaxies like this one.
And here was James T. Kirk, standing on the surface of one small, class-M planet... a speck on the face of the universe.
Oddly, the thought was reassuring.
It meant that he was free to enjoy that existence, and make of it what he would. All things would pass, and life would go on. And he was determined that his own personal go of it was going to be a blast.
With a small smile, he flipped open his comm. “Cadet Kirk to Cadet Okoru...”
Leonard had left Jim on the main campus quad to meet with Pike, then caught the shuttle over to Starfleet Medical. To his amusement, Doctor Swerdlow had wanted him to take a look at some of the early results they were getting with his neurovascular regen units. With the expanded resource base for the project, it was moving along quite rapidly, and would probably go to clinical trials within a couple more months. It was hard to watch it progress without him, but at least the project wasn’t dead. And at least they were keeping him in the loop.
But the meeting had also turned into a discussion about his new aviophobia project, spanning the topics of psychology, neurophysiology, and even some unorthodox cellular regeneration techniques. Leonard’s abstract and initial results had been accepted as the basis of a full research project, and he would be doing rounds in the psych department during his research. Not as much fun as surgery, perhaps, but a good challenge for him.
Plus, if he were going into the black for any sort of long-term assignment, it would be a significant benefit for him to get a better grasp of the psychological issues that could plague starship personnel. And, of course, to help him get a better grasp of his own psychological issues.
On long nights, he had wondered why he’d gotten a doctorate in psych, only to avoid the topic like the plague. Maybe the answer was watching him from the other side of the mirror.
Either way, it had been a good and encouraging meeting with Doctor Swerdlow, and now, Leonard actually had the rest of the afternoon off.
He also had a text message waiting for him when he checked his comm.
Bones, when you’re done with your meeting, come find me on the quad, outside the Student Center. - Jim
Leonard rolled his eyes. Presumptuous kid, figuring he’d come right along... but Jim was right. He would.
The shuttle back to the main campus was almost empty - typical for a Saturday. In the relative silence of the shuttle cabin, Leonard sagged into his seat and took a few slow, deep breaths, letting his body relax from his head, through his shoulders, down to the core of his stomach. He was into his third repetition before he realized he’d started his pre-flight coping routine without even consciously deciding to do it. And it was working.
Doctor, heal thyself, he thought, but this time, with a touch of smugness.
The shuttle took off, and he watched the water of the bay fly by underneath him. Nice day. Only a touch of fog. Chilly, yes, but it was November. The shuttle paralleled the Golden Gate Bridge just to the east of the old structure, then flew up and over the crest of the Presidio to touch down on the shuttle pad of the main campus. The hatch opened with a soft hiss, and Leonard walked out of the craft, pleased to discover that his legs weren’t shaking.
Yeah, he could do this.
He began making his way past the admin buildings and a couple of the lecture halls towards the Student Center. As he approached, he could make out a small cluster of cadets, seated on a couple of benches just in front of the main entrance. Five of them, and from that distance, it looked like four humans and an Andorian.
Nova Squadron.
Leonard smiled as he got a little bit closer, and could hear the faint hints of what sounded like a very enthusiastic conversation. Jim’s voice seemed to carry over all of them. He couldn’t hear what was being said, but the tone was enough to let him know that Jim was okay. Happy.
And then the Andorian nudged Jim and pointed across the quad towards Leonard, and Jim looked up. Jim grinned and he held up a finger, clearly saying, Just a minute.
Leonard nodded and watched as the whole team got to their feet. Hugs and claps on shoulders were exchanged all around, and then Jim was jogging towards him down the path, grinning broadly.
“Hope I didn’t interrupt anything,” Leonard said lightly as Jim came to an easy halt alongside him.
“Nah. Just had to share the news with my team.”
“About your roommate, and Romano, and all that?”
To his surprise, Jim actually shook his head. “There’s that, but... we’re getting to keep our team, Bones!” He waved back at the rest of his flight team once, and then started walking down the path, indicating for Leonard to follow. They fell in step next to each other as Jim continued. “First five-man flight team in the Academy’s history. We’ve got permission, and the squad was re-commissioned under that charter. We’re going to make something special of it.”
Jim’s enthusiasm was infectious, and Leonard felt himself grinning, too. “Jim, if you’re part of it, I’m sure it could be nothing less.”
“No, Bones. Not like that.” He glanced sideways at Leonard, his face suddenly serious. “It’s not about me. Not this time.”
Leonard looked back at him. There were so many things he could say, but at the moment, none of them were important. So, with a nod, he said, “Okay, kid. Okay.”
“Good,” Jim said with a decisive nod. “So...what’s for lunch?”
With an easy laugh that he hadn’t experienced in a long time, Leonard inclined his head. “Anything but Chinese?”
Jim chuckled. “Sounds fair. There’s a Mediterranean place on the south end of town I’d been meaning to try.”
“I could deal with that. Lead the way, Jim.”
(To Part Nineteen...)
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no subject
Date: 2010-12-22 01:40 am (UTC)I'd have to say that, being the hurt/comfort junkie that I am, the two moments that are standing out for me in this story right now are when Kirk tried to leave the hospital (and realized he was being a nit) and when Bones uses his medical override to stop Jim from using the flight sim.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-22 02:13 am (UTC)I totally understand what you mean about those two scenes. They were a couple of my favorites, too. Glad you seem to be enjoying this!
no subject
Date: 2011-02-22 06:22 pm (UTC)I really do love the coping techniques they both learned. Seeing Bones use them at the end, and be ok with flying, was just perfect. It was a crazy ride for Bones too. I really like his personal development over the story, and their growth together.
Also, I *really love* Jim's vow that no one will die because he refused to stick his neck out. That fits right with his actions in XI.
no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 11:01 pm (UTC)I loved letting Bones actually have a moment of personal growth here, too. The story is more about Jim, but really, Bones went through his own journey in this one. His big scene was really the bit where he goes back to his dorm room after retrieving Jim from the security office, and he has this epiphany of what he'd really done, and how he'd let himself slip up regarding Jim's health.
And yeah... that vow Jim made right there... that's EXACTLY what I intended it to reflect.