Another ten-minute download... because I NEED to decompress here...
I'm a bit down today, methinks. I'm sure it has some to do with the fact that I've just got so much stuff to do at work that I can't even keep up anymore. It's positively overwhelming. There's only so much that one person can do. It's nice to be needed, and job security is great, but... at the same time, my authority is still very limited, and it's damn near impossible to balance the management aspects of this job with the baseline level logistics and assistance. I don't have enough time in the day to get everything done unless I don't take breaks, don't take lunch, and beg for overtime just so I can finish the basics. I almost missed a meeting today because I was busy trying to solve a crisis in the lab from an on-the-ground standpoint, and lost track of time. And at the same time, I'm supposed to solve the space issues for an insanely overcrowded lab in which nobody wants to give an inch. I can't win.
Well... yes, I can. I KICKED ASS last night at pool. I beat a player one level my senior, two games to nothing. I credit that to the fact that I decided that I was just going to be in a good mood from the time I arrived, the jedi-powered telekinesis that I used to make the other player miss on the 8-ball, and the polished stone I kept in my pocket for good vibes. Either that, or I don't suck as much as I used to. Maybe it's some of both.
Missed the Fetish Flea last weekend. That was fine, because I was having a ball hanging out with friends, but it makes me wonder why I never feel like I have time for everything I want to do. I'm finally building the life I want... finding the friends I want... planning the future I want... enjoying the things I love... exploring aspects of my life and parts of myself that I never thought I would... and I just don't have the bloody time. Either that, or I scratch sleep off my to-do list. *grumbles* And I desperately want to find time and days off to go to Kansas to see my girlfriend, and I really need to go see my mother and my dog in New Hampshire, and I wish I had time to... er... play with my newfound kinky friends in the area. (Erin and Ned, I SWEAR we'll set up a playdate soon. My whip is feeling lonely. And Ned... is that girl friend of yours still interested?)
I've got my Army drill next weekend. I don't want to go. I mean, REALLY don't want to go. I'm sure I'll be fine. I like my current unit, actually, and they like me. I just... I swear, I almost gag every time I put on my uniform. *le sigh* Besides... that's an entire weekend blown on the Army. Sure, $400 is $400. (Pretty sweet pay for one weekend's work. Rank has its privilages, I guess.) But I'd gladly surrender the cash if I could spend the weekend with friends. I felt horribly alone through high school, and even through college. I found plenty of casual friends, but never the people with whom I could *connect*. In the past year, I've started finding those people. And now, I don't get to see them.
I'm feeling a bit isolated today. I think it's partly because I've been so busy. Haven't seen![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mirabaexcept at Iaido classes, of which I've missed many, and she's about to move, and I miss seeing her regularly. Haven't seen krikenbecause she's as busy as I am with work. Haven't seen any of the people from NYC because... damn it, I haven't had a weekend off! And even though I saw fiona_fawkesthe weekend before last, it seems like it was ages ago. Do I get to cry now? Oh, and does it make me paranoid if I e-mailed someone, don't get a reply, and wonder if I did something to irritate that person? Lack of sleep can lead to that sort of lack of confidence, perhaps?
Anyhow, that was more like 15 minutes than ten. Lunch? Who needs lunch? I have equipment to fix, scientists to placate, glassware to process, upper management to appease, floor-plans to rearrange, construction projects to manage, technicians and vendors to coordinate, events to schedule, and a gym workout to tack onto the end of the day, lest I find myself unable to fit into my jeans.
*wibble*
I need a hug.
I'm a bit down today, methinks. I'm sure it has some to do with the fact that I've just got so much stuff to do at work that I can't even keep up anymore. It's positively overwhelming. There's only so much that one person can do. It's nice to be needed, and job security is great, but... at the same time, my authority is still very limited, and it's damn near impossible to balance the management aspects of this job with the baseline level logistics and assistance. I don't have enough time in the day to get everything done unless I don't take breaks, don't take lunch, and beg for overtime just so I can finish the basics. I almost missed a meeting today because I was busy trying to solve a crisis in the lab from an on-the-ground standpoint, and lost track of time. And at the same time, I'm supposed to solve the space issues for an insanely overcrowded lab in which nobody wants to give an inch. I can't win.
Well... yes, I can. I KICKED ASS last night at pool. I beat a player one level my senior, two games to nothing. I credit that to the fact that I decided that I was just going to be in a good mood from the time I arrived, the jedi-powered telekinesis that I used to make the other player miss on the 8-ball, and the polished stone I kept in my pocket for good vibes. Either that, or I don't suck as much as I used to. Maybe it's some of both.
Missed the Fetish Flea last weekend. That was fine, because I was having a ball hanging out with friends, but it makes me wonder why I never feel like I have time for everything I want to do. I'm finally building the life I want... finding the friends I want... planning the future I want... enjoying the things I love... exploring aspects of my life and parts of myself that I never thought I would... and I just don't have the bloody time. Either that, or I scratch sleep off my to-do list. *grumbles* And I desperately want to find time and days off to go to Kansas to see my girlfriend, and I really need to go see my mother and my dog in New Hampshire, and I wish I had time to... er... play with my newfound kinky friends in the area. (Erin and Ned, I SWEAR we'll set up a playdate soon. My whip is feeling lonely. And Ned... is that girl friend of yours still interested?)
I've got my Army drill next weekend. I don't want to go. I mean, REALLY don't want to go. I'm sure I'll be fine. I like my current unit, actually, and they like me. I just... I swear, I almost gag every time I put on my uniform. *le sigh* Besides... that's an entire weekend blown on the Army. Sure, $400 is $400. (Pretty sweet pay for one weekend's work. Rank has its privilages, I guess.) But I'd gladly surrender the cash if I could spend the weekend with friends. I felt horribly alone through high school, and even through college. I found plenty of casual friends, but never the people with whom I could *connect*. In the past year, I've started finding those people. And now, I don't get to see them.
I'm feeling a bit isolated today. I think it's partly because I've been so busy. Haven't seen
mirabaexcept at Iaido classes, of which I've missed many, and she's about to move, and I miss seeing her regularly. Haven't seen krikenbecause she's as busy as I am with work. Haven't seen any of the people from NYC because... damn it, I haven't had a weekend off! And even though I saw fiona_fawkesthe weekend before last, it seems like it was ages ago. Do I get to cry now? Oh, and does it make me paranoid if I e-mailed someone, don't get a reply, and wonder if I did something to irritate that person? Lack of sleep can lead to that sort of lack of confidence, perhaps?Anyhow, that was more like 15 minutes than ten. Lunch? Who needs lunch? I have equipment to fix, scientists to placate, glassware to process, upper management to appease, floor-plans to rearrange, construction projects to manage, technicians and vendors to coordinate, events to schedule, and a gym workout to tack onto the end of the day, lest I find myself unable to fit into my jeans.
*wibble*
I need a hug.
