Hmmm...

[mijan]

Another ten-minute download... because I NEED to decompress here...

I'm a bit down today, methinks.  I'm sure it has some to do with the fact that I've just got so much stuff to do at work that I can't even keep up anymore.  It's positively overwhelming.  There's only so much that one person can do.  It's nice to be needed, and job security is great, but... at the same time, my authority is still very limited, and it's damn near impossible to balance the management aspects of this job with the baseline level logistics and assistance.  I don't have enough time in the day to get everything done unless I don't take breaks, don't take lunch, and beg for overtime just so I can finish the basics.  I almost missed a meeting today because I was busy trying to solve a crisis in the lab from an on-the-ground standpoint, and lost track of time.  And at the same time, I'm supposed to solve the space issues for an insanely overcrowded lab in which nobody wants to give an inch.  I can't win.

Well... yes, I can.  I KICKED ASS last night at pool.  I beat a player one level my senior, two games to nothing.  I credit that to the fact that I decided that I was just going to be in a good mood from the time I arrived, the jedi-powered telekinesis that I used to make the other player miss on the 8-ball, and the polished stone I kept in my pocket for good vibes.  Either that, or I don't suck as much as I used to.  Maybe it's some of both.

Missed the Fetish Flea last weekend.  That was fine, because I was having a ball hanging out with friends, but it makes me wonder why I never feel like I have time for everything I want to do.  I'm finally building the life I want... finding the friends I want... planning the future I want... enjoying the things I love... exploring aspects of my life and parts of myself that I never thought I would... and I just don't have the bloody time.  Either that, or I scratch sleep off my to-do list.  *grumbles*  And I desperately want to find time and days off to go to Kansas to see my girlfriend, and I really need to go see my mother and my dog in New Hampshire, and I wish I had time to... er... play with my newfound kinky friends in the area.  (Erin and Ned, I SWEAR we'll set up a playdate soon.  My whip is feeling lonely.  And Ned... is that girl friend of yours still interested?)

I've got my Army drill next weekend.  I don't want to go.  I mean, REALLY don't want to go.  I'm sure I'll be fine.  I like my current unit, actually, and they like me.  I just... I swear, I almost gag every time I put on my uniform.  *le sigh*  Besides... that's an entire weekend blown on the Army.  Sure, $400 is $400.  (Pretty sweet pay for one weekend's work.  Rank has its privilages, I guess.)  But I'd gladly surrender the cash if I could spend the weekend with friends.  I felt horribly alone through high school, and even through college.  I found plenty of casual friends, but never the people with whom I could *connect*.  In the past year, I've started finding those people.  And now, I don't get to see them.

I'm feeling a bit isolated today.  I think it's partly because I've been so busy.  Haven't seen mirabaexcept at Iaido classes, of which I've missed many, and she's about to move, and I miss seeing her regularly.  Haven't seen krikenbecause she's as busy as I am with work.  Haven't seen any of the people from NYC because... damn it, I haven't had a weekend off!  And even though I saw fiona_fawkesthe weekend before last, it seems like it was ages ago.  Do I get to cry now?  Oh, and does it make me paranoid if I e-mailed someone, don't get a reply, and wonder if I did something to irritate that person?  Lack of sleep can lead to that sort of lack of confidence, perhaps?

Anyhow, that was more like 15 minutes than ten.  Lunch?  Who needs lunch?  I have equipment to fix, scientists to placate, glassware to process, upper management to appease, floor-plans to rearrange, construction projects to manage, technicians and vendors to coordinate, events to schedule, and a gym workout to tack onto the end of the day, lest I find myself unable to fit into my jeans.  

*wibble*
I need a hug.

Comments

[fiona-fawkes.livejournal.com]

You'll find a sense of balance. But until then:

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Awww, Calvin&Hobbes!Huggles... verreh nice.
*huggles muchly*

*tugs tail playfully*
*purrs*

[fiona-fawkes.livejournal.com]

Hey! Not the tail! *scowls*

Go easy on a girl till she gets her coffee.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*grins madly*
*pounces on you*
*grins again, licks your nose, and wags tail*

*curls up on your lap and snuzzles*

[fiona-fawkes.livejournal.com]

*gives you the raised brow that really means You're being cute and adorable and my crunchy exterior is resisting, but the resistance is weak and will soon fail and do you realize what a weakness I have for you but omg just don't act like a cat with me in public because then people will see what a giant ball of fluff you have turned me into.*

You make me run-on sentence like no other. ♥'s

[quidditchmaster.livejournal.com]

*huggles*

Michelle. You pwn. Fuck the doubters. They can suck my big fat cock.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Nick. It's not that there are "doubters". It's just that life is insane, and I can't keep up, and right now, it feels like a lonely road. I'm okay, but the stress builds up sometimes. I'm very happy with my life, and it's the best feeling in the world to know that I have a lot of good friends who care... I just wish I had time to get my head on straight, and spend that time with those friends.

[quidditchmaster.livejournal.com]

I could make about six pervy jokes from this reply, but won't, finding that is probably not the kind of reply you'd wanna see.

Instead, *huggles again* and yeah. Michelleeee. Don't forget to -breathe-, you know? =))

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Pervy jokes would be fine. I could use the laugh.

And I think I'm remembering how to breathe. Air in, air out, air in... oh shit, what's the next part???

[singlewoman.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* *Hugs* *Hugs*

Hope that helps. Sorry you are so swamped, is that pesky liquid nitrogen tank leaking again? (That was what they called you about when you were here, right?)

Snarl to the Army. Yeah, $400 is great, but you need your life too. BTW, what ever happened with that cadet on the train?

I am so glad you and Fiona got together, you need a hot girl in your life. And yea for kicking ass at pool. I suck at pool, but I love to play.

I would love to get up and see you soon, after I juggle my children's social lives!

Take care of yourself, and don't let your whip become too lonely!

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Thankee, sweets. And no, the liquid nitrogen tank is the LEAST of my worries. I'll tell you more later. Might call tonight, if I have time. And I really mean that in the literal "I might not have time" sense.

Dunno what happened to the Cadet. I hope they scared him within an inch of his pathetic career.

And squee! Come up and visit me! *huggles* I... er... just don't know when. *sniffle*
*cries more*

[stormsdotter.livejournal.com]

*HUG!*

Would you like a hand with the layout of your space? I may not be a licensed architect but I have good planing and problem-solving skills.

I can't tell you much about the Scene up here; most of my friends in that field are down in NYC. I draw the line at B&D, but other people are welcome to do what they want as long as it involves consenting adults.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Trust me, our company has a squad of architects and infrastructure people on top of it, and I'm actually an engineer myself. Besides, our company is so large, and the labs are so big, we need the inside people to work this. Seriously, we're just running out of physical space to put stuff.

And yep... I also figure that two consenting adults (or three, or four, or more) can do whatever they want. Everyone has their "things" they like. :)

[stormsdotter.livejournal.com]

*snorts coffee at your userpic*

Ahh, it's a case of really needing more floorspace rather than your boss trying to save money by avoiding those idiot Architects. Good luck with the headache!

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Trust me, it really is a case of having no space whatsoever in our lab. Between Health and Safety codes, building codes, space restrictions, and the simple fact that we've filled certain labs to capacity and there really isn't ANY more space left... it's a bitch. We're really being told "you have to fit 8 pegs into 6 holes", and half the pegs are the wrong shapes.

And yesh... I like that userpic muchly. :D

[cool-tre-cool.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

[lunalovegoddess.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
I really wish the best for you. It sounds like you have an insane amount on your plate right now and really need a release for your tension. Too bad you don't have a Time Turner, eh?

*wishes you a few good nights worth of sleep condensed into one night*

[lunalovegoddess.livejournal.com]

*also wishes you could skive off from Army drill without repercussions*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

A few good nights of sleep would do VERY nicely right now. An evening out with friends for a movie would do well, too. But really... SLEEP. And... a slightly more manageable amount of work.
*hugs back*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*big hugs back*

[lurkitty.livejournal.com]

Oh! it sucks having responsibility and not the authority. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

You and Fi are so good for each other - I know you both are lonely without each other. You will be together again soon enough and I know you are the first person on her mind. It's wonderful to watch the wibblefest of your relationship blossom.

*hugs*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've been there, done that already, too. But they only had XXL t-shirts by the time I got done, and I'm a Medium, so... so much for the t-shirt.

And yay for approving of me and my sweetie! I do miss her. I'm not used to missing anyone, and I'm really independant. I love people, but I don't *need* anyone. Well... er... oops?

*giggles*
*huggles*

[avidbeader.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

[bicrim.livejournal.com]

Hugs and boykisses!

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*giggles* Boy kisses!

[supersaturation.livejournal.com]

*big hugs*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*ish hugged*

[regicidaldwarf.livejournal.com]

Do interenet hugs from practically a stranger count for anything? If so, *hugs* ♥

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Yes, they help. Thank you.

[hazelhawthorne.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

*adds a snuggle*

*hands you a hot cocoa*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Wah! *hugs and snuggles*

How have you been, sweetie?

[awaywithpixie.livejournal.com]

*clings* and

*hugs*

You have to get skype so I can talk to you. I miss you!!!!

Best put August 2008 into your diary now hon, for I'll be painting NYC red then. San Fran too

*attackles*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

WHEEEEEE! *clings and hugs more* YAY 2008!!! So far, but... I'll be good!
*smishes you*

And... what's Skype?

And... can I PWEEZE steal your avatar there? *wants*

*sends you squirrels*

[snottygrrl.livejournal.com]

[*gives many hugs*]

sorry i was distracted today, work is a little nuts right now. not nuts like yours is, but still, stuff that is time sensitive isn't done and aaaarrrrgggghhh.

i really really hate the time difference. [*pouts*]

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Time differences SUCK. You really should be out here, with us, in Boston. Yesh. I decree it to be so. *nods sagely*

It's okay about being distracted. Believe me, I understand. You'll make it. I just hope that I will.