FIC: "And All the King's Men"

[mijan]

Title:  "And All the King's Men"
Author: mijan
Betas: 001010010 and classics_geek
Artist:  vengefuldemon69
Fanmixer:   jazzy_peaches
Series: ST: XI
Character/Pairing(s): Jim Kirk & Leonard McCoy (very tight friendship, BFF, almost-slash, whatever you might call it), with appearances by Chris Pike.
Rating: R
Word Count: 63,000 words
Warnings: Physical violence, implied torture of a child.
Disclaimer: Gene Roddenberry is God, Paramount Pictures is Pope, and this is the blasphemy of a wayward faithful. My geeky spirit is rich, but my purse is empty.

Author’s Notes: My sincere thanks to my amazing beta readers, classics_geek and 001010010 , both of whom dedicated time and effort to this fic despite the demands and stresses of real life, and without whom I would have probably lost my mind. Additional thanks to hitlikehammers and nikki4noo for being awesome test-readers who gave wonderful feedback to help me keep the whole fic in perspective, and the former of whom also coded and hosted the fic on a webpage so it could all be read in one piece. And thank you to my lovely wife, fiona_fawkes who put up with me while I was writing this.


Summary:   "How many times can you patch up something before you realize that it's too fucking broken to fix, Bones?"  When a training simulation uncovers something that Cadet Jim Kirk was never meant to remember, it breaks him. Leonard McCoy can't sit by and watch Jim crumble. When asked what he's willing to do to get the old Jim back, Leonard has only one answer.  "Anything."

"And All the King's Men"

Link to Art: http://vengefuldemon69.livejournal.com/46658.html
Link to Mix: http://community.livejournal.com/nifty_cricket/7874.html

Comments

[hitlikehammers.livejournal.com]

My unwavering adoration for this story - for its depth, for its impact, for its absolutely stunning presence - should be common knowledge to you by this point (if it's not, I will hop a plane right now and beat that adoration into your skull (lovingly, of course) in person). What you've done here is exquisite - you've captured one of those quintessential elements of what it means to be human, and you've laid it bare for the rest of us to see, to internalize, to touch and feel and mourn and celebrate and live, damnit, and it's beautiful in every possible way. So much love for this, my dear - so much love. And congratulations - you've created something special here, and you should be so very, very proud of it. Thank you so much for allowing me to read it early (impatient wretch that I am), and for letting me do what little I could to help you along the way - it was nothing less than a privilege. *hugs* <3

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Hun, the privilege was all mine. Thank you for working with me. You have MY unwavering adoration, and appreciation, for all the work you did. And thank you for helping to keep me sane. It was touch-and-go there for a while. *wink*

♥

[vixys.livejournal.com]

OH OH. IT'S UP. *FLAILS* I have been periodically checking your LJ all day to see whether it was up yet. I'm impatient like that. :D

Y'see, hitlikehammers pretty much said everything that I feel about this fic, and put it in prettier language, too. So I will therefore resort to mad, wild flailing and adoration.

This fic was amazing. Truly fantastic. So moving and so powerful, and creating such a fantastic relationship (I would say friendship, but that's not it - it's so much more) between Jim and Bones that can't be defined, and to try would be to sully it. And the supporting characters are so full, and they've come so far (read: Toland :D) from where they were when you first sent me bits and pieces of the first scene.

This is fucking amazing. *epic, epic hugs* ♥

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Yes, hun. It's up. You've been stalking my LJ to look for it??? *blushes* You're so awesome, you know that? And the fic wouldn't be the same without you, either. Yes, there was the stuff you beta'd, but also, I've added a few writing techniques and styles to my repertoire because of your beta work and your writing, and that's helped me so much. I don't write LIKE you (because your writing is unique and amazing and *GUH*), but I've learned some tricks from you, and I think I'm a better writer for it.

And yeah, I can't define it as just friendship, but it's not a romance either. It just IS, and it's all the better for that. I realized which scene summed that up:

“But…” Jim said slowly, “I think, even fucked up and messed up, we’re ahead of most people. We’ll be okay. Right?” His voice was firm and confident, until that last word; he was waiting for Leonard to confirm it.

Something in the way Jim had said “we,” as if that pronoun had always been there and always would be, caught Leonard’s attention. By all rights, it shouldn't have been there at all; at least, not yet. They'd known each other for so little time...(snip)... And despite all that, they were definitely a "we."

Yeah, that.

And YOU, hun - you are just wonderful. Thank you for fitting me into your schedule, my darling birthday twin. *hugs* ♥

[cedarrapidsgirl.livejournal.com]

Wow. Where do I start with this fic. I love it! I'm honored to have had the chance to test read it, and see it in its completion. I've looked forward to all the installments, and I've loved it all.

And I still think the "Terra Prime" canon business was funny. Weren't we up too late watching "Doom" that night? I think I also mentioned that the Vulcan procedure used on Jim to forget his experience is also canon via Enterprise.

The McCoy TOS quote from "Balance of Terror" and your version? Gold. The TOS quote is one of my favorites ever.

GAH. I was just scrolling throught the story (again!)trying to find something I was thinking about earlier, and there was just too much AWESOME. I am humbled in your writing presence, and I bow down and kiss your feet, as I am just a lowly writer compared to you.

Thank you for so much, as well, for being an awesome friend, 'cause you know how my RL can be, sometimes. *hugs and squeezes*. I'm memeing this, for sure, and I already told you it's bookmarked.

Long comment is long, but I don't care! YAY!

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Oh hun, you know I love rambly comments. You're wonderful. And yes, the Terra Prime meta business was pretty amusing, and yet frustrating at the same time. I just wanna say, "But... but... I INVENTED THAT ON MY OWN, DAMMIT!"

I'm glad you liked the nod at the "Balance of Terror" quote. That's my favorite quote of all time, and it was something that needed mention.

Anyway, you are awesome, too. Thanks, hun. ♥

[andrealyn]

That was just a wonderful read, oh god. I totally admit that I was utterly in tears by the end of it and I really love the way you write the action scenes. The fic just had marvelous flow and great interactions and it was a wonderful thing to read. I love that you addressed BOTH their issues, but they were never so intrinsically weak that they weren't them.

Great, GREAT story and I loved it!

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks! I love writing action scenes. I haven't seen too many in most Trek fics lately, but they have so much energy. Love 'em.

Thank you for reading, and I'm thrilled that you liked it! :D

[thistlerose.livejournal.com]

"And if the world ain't good enough for you," Bones finally said, dropping his voice to a low growl, "you've got me, too."

A number of lines got me in the heart, but that one stands out the strongest, for some reason.

So, I don't ordinarily read long fics, but I was so blown away by "Red-shirt" that I had to give this a chance. I'm so very, very glad that I did because it is extraordinary. Truly. Wonderful characterizations, wonderful plot, just... Seriously, wow. This was fantastic.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Awww, thank you! See, I was worried about this, because I know it's a long fic, and a lot of people don't seem to bother reading them. I mean, I wrote "Redshirt" in an afternoon, and while it was an important fic to me, and I felt it was good, it was a short fic. This fic here was a labor of love that took me two months to write and another month to edit. I was worried that people wouldn't even read it. I hope they will.

Thank you for reading it, and for leaving a review. I'm glad you enjoyed it! And I hope you also enjoy the stuff I write in the future! :)

[damaskrose32.livejournal.com]

This was fabulous. I loved the way Bones dealt with Jim's breakdown and the interactions with SFA staff. And Jim's approach to the original sim was hilarious, and yet so believable. So was his breakdown after regaining the Tarsus memories.

Also, I'll admit, pretty quickly I was questioning whether the kidnapping was a sim or not. However, although I was pretty sure it wasn't, you kept me unsure until the very end. I couldn't imagine that Bones would be that injured in a sim, but as he was an unreliable narrator due to injury by that point, you did a wonderful job of making his confusion credible. And Jim did a masterful job of rescuing them and saving Cochrane Hall.

Overall, bravo, bravo. More! I'd love to read more about this Jim and Bones at SFA, since they're still only first-year cadets in their first semester at this point. They've got a long way to go and started with quite the Bang.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it! I had fun writing that first sim. It was the only part of the whole fic that could be truly light-hearted, and I also wanted to take a chance to get to show how clever Kirk really is, but also show how he thinks outside the box and generally treats rules like "guidelines." :D

And yes, the reader is SUPPOSED to question whether or not the real abduction is a training sim. We're supposed to know that Bones is too out of it to really put it together, but we're still supposed to suspect the whole time. I mean, I even have Jim come flat-out and say, "This isn't a fucking simulation." My goal wasn't to fake people out, but to make them just that tiny bit uncertain. It seems to have worked!

Anyway, I actually do plan to write more Academy-era fics. I'm going to get two series started: An Academy series, and a "Continuing Missions" series, of which I've already written one, and I'm going to start another this weekend. I hope you'll come around and read them! :)

[kaitlyn142.livejournal.com]

Wow. Just wow. There are no words for how much I loved this fic. I've been anxiously waiting for it since I read a comment of yours that your bigbang fic was going to explore Tarsus themes.

This just blew me away so much I can't even leave decent feedback! Just *worships*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Awwww, thank you! I'm glad you remembered about my fic, and I'm glad that you really enjoyed the story. I've seen Tarsus IV handled well in a couple of fics, but a lot of the ones I've see didn't quite hit it the way I wanted to see it, so I decided to dig right in. I'm delighted that it worked for you! :)

[sidara.livejournal.com]

i've been looking forward to this for WEEKS. and after five hours of line edits/work, i finally gave myself time to read it as a treat. i loved it! brilliant academy era story.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

YAY! I'm glad it lived up to your expectations! :D

[yeomantpc.livejournal.com]

*squealyflail* loved this!

wish i could write you some long actually comment on your writing and how amazing the characterization and plot and hurt jim and bones was...but i can't cause i stink at those kinds of things.

this was just amazing and it was a fantastic read! (and my bedtime story to boot! (its three thirty am o.O))

[nikki4noo.livejournal.com]

You go to bed young lady! Even if I did tell you to read this. :D Isn't mijan brilliant?

[jenndarkflower.livejournal.com]

An amazing story from an amazing guy. Much kudos.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*tips hat* Thank yeh, m'dear. :)

[rubymiene.livejournal.com]

I love it! I'm afraid I'm not familiar enough with Star Trek canon to fully enjoy it, but it still sucked me in and made me worry.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Wow, then that's pretty good if you enjoyed the story without being big into Star Trek! Thanks!

[nikki4noo.livejournal.com]

I get to use one of my shiny new icons and really I had to stick with a classic TOS one to represent what I felt the first time I read this. This story deserves to be an absolute classic in the fandom. It delves into what makes McCoy, McCoy and what makes Kirk, Kirk. What you showed each reader was the flawed brilliance of these two men. Not only that, you illustrated that for all of them appearing to be quite opposite on the surface, deep down they are incredibly similar. We need to see more of the intelligence that both these men have in fics. Jim isn't a frat boy, he is a genius level offender. Bones isn't a grumpy old man all the time.

I can go on and on about this fic and I know you would love me to ;) But I shall just say that your OC's were so beautifully fleshed out. It was obvious that there was so much time spent by you on their motivations and background as there was the canon characters. The blending of TOS with Reboot was so deftly handled and the whole thing just felt so real. Right, stopping now cause I need to get to sleep. But I couldn't not comment on this lovely, lovely thing you wrote and shared with us all.

I just plain love this story and I know that when I need something good to re-read that this was be waiting for me whenever I need it.

*huggles* and Happy Halloween/Samhain!

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks, love. *huggles*

[ceria-taliesin.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed reading this! The length didn't worry me at all. The academy time period is my favorite and so few people write it.

I love the way you handled their relationship, because it's a very strong love between them and I like the 'almost-slash' label you put on it.

The character development is great and I love how you showed so much of Jim's development even through Bone's pov.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

YAY! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm actually hoping to write more Academy-era stuff, so we'll see how it goes from there!

I actually had a really hard time labeling the relationship in this fic. It's not technically slash, it's not romantic in the classic sense, but they're just so... TOGETHER, and I think it's something beyond a romance and bigger than just a friendship. I'm glad it worked for you. :)

Thanks for reading!

[kim-cc.livejournal.com]

Another great story. I love stories focusing on Jim and Bones Academy days and this should become a classic.

Your interweaving of Reboot and TOS is stunning and the emotions you evoke as always are truly felt. The doubt that Jim feels at being worthy of anything; the anguish Bones feels at knowing what happened to Jim as a child. The way you explain that Jim, even though he didn't really remember Tarsus, has constantly been trying to become worthy to not be on that list.

Beautiful.

Throughout this story I felt that I could see/feel the emotions between the two lunkheads and that the friendship that these two feel for each other is truly the basis for everything that follows.

Kim CC

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*blushes* I have a distant hope that this would become a classic fic, but for now, I'm just thrilled that people are reading it and enjoying it. :)

I'm equally delighted that you like how I wove old facts from TOS into the reboot universe. I feel like that's important - letting the new stand on its own, but keeping it connected to what came before.

And... *blushes more* Thank you for the lovely compliment. :)

[sophia-sol.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, this fic is brilliant. Wow. Amazing depiction of the close friendship between Kirk and Bones, really believable secondary characters, and the characterization of both Kirk and Bones was about perfect. Seriously. Wow.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

[secretsolitaire.livejournal.com]

I'm here on a rec from thistlerose. Honestly, I probably would have put off reading this for a while if I'd seen the word count first, but I am so glad I just dived in -- it was amazing. Bones, Jim, Pike, and Toland were all richly characterized and completely believable. Jim in particular was so good I don't have words for him. And your simulation (or "simulation") scenes were gripping, even for someone like me who tends to glaze over when reading action scenes. But it was the relationship between Jim and Bones that captured me and kept me reading and reading and reading. So good, and so them. Thanks for this.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I've been recced? *bounces happily*

I don't know what else to say to your review other than - wow, thank you That's a huge compliment, and I'm duly flattered. Thank you for reading. :)

[abigail89.livejournal.com]

That was absolutely wonderful! Beautifully written, fabulously detailed, and such a roller coaster of emotions. This is the second story I've read about Tarsus IV; I really need to do some research. I do so love the broken Jim and Leonard storylines, but you avoided the maudlin and tearjerker sentiment-- well done. Your original character worked extremely well, and I am now convinced there can never be too much Captain Pike in a story.

Time very well spent on a cold, rainy Halloween night. Congratulations on a solid and amazing story.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

First - thank you! *grins*

Second... yeah, even broken and suffering, Kirk and Bones can't just dissolve into an emo mess. It's not them, and I think it would weaken the impact of what they went through, too. I've seen more than a few folks with PTSD, so I've got a bit of experience in dealing with that.

I'm glad you liked Toland! I usually avoid OC's, but I needed one for this story. I'm glad it worked for you.

And yes, there can never be too much CPT Pike in a fic. :D

Glad it was a good treat for you on a cold, rainy Halloween! Thank you again!

[youkiddinright.livejournal.com]

I wish I had the coherency to tell you how much I loved that story, but unfortunately, my brain is dead.

I'm still able to say that it was amazing and awesome and how everything was related to something else just made is even more amazing/awesome. You did a freaking good job with this. Really.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Oh no! Brain dead? I'll send Bones to fix that. *wink*

But anyway, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Thank you. :)

[red-estelle.livejournal.com]

really enjoyed this. guh, i love sunday epic ficfests. big big thumbs up.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Hehe... just the thing for a lazy Sunday, yes?

Thank you!

[kaitou1412.livejournal.com]

Holy shit that was good. Easily one of the top 5 Trek XI fics that's been written yet. Good characterization, totally gripping from start to finish, and good use of an OC to boot.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, that's a huge compliment! Thank you! Hopefully, my upcoming fics will hold to the same standard. :)

[ratcreature]

I liked this. It was a good mix of angst, h/c and action.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[caomhnoiri.livejournal.com]

You. Just. Fuck, man. Fuck.

I feel tired -- emotionally. And yet, it's...a very good sort of tired. Like. I didn't know, but I needed to see this exact fic, and read it (holy shit, didn't see the word count before hand! Whoops, four hours well spent?), and...just...argh! I had to take a walk before I could articulate this enough to write something, anything. Because before, I was just kind of in a twitchy heap, staring at the screen. Long fics tend to leave me that way, but, this was so much different. I just...damn, man.

Okay. First things first. Before I forget all of my hard-won composure. I tend to get wrapped up in the story, and I'm a very emotional reader -- this aided that perfectly. I was alternately shaking in rage and on the verge of tears (somehow, for once, I avoided them!) for a good bit of the story, interspersed being fucking awed at just about everything. And laughing, now and then, because some parts -- man, I would recite them endlessly, but I don't quite have another four hours to reread yet ;) -- were just hilarious. Jim with the apple in the SIM, that was just...classic. Absofuckinglutely priceless. I can just see the little shit doing something like that.

I started reading this as a reward for getting 5k done on my NaNo in a few hours. I'm used to reading long things; I write long things. I honestly didn't expect it to be so long, but I think it's perfect in its' length. Seriously. Perfect. You can almost feel how much effort went into it, and...I, for one, love you for it. I honestly can't think of one single damn thing to say about this bloody fic that isn't something along the lines of 'holy shit, you have killed me dead of awesome'.

I'm going to try and come back with something more coherent. Exactly why I love every single damn section. Maybe later. I have to get back to NaNo, I guess, but right now my brain is just kind of set on 'ffffffzzzzt'.

Before I go take another walk because my brain won't stop flailing, I have to say. Pike. Pike. Dude. Pike is -- impossibly amazing. It shouldn't be possible for somebody to be so god damned perfect, but you write him with such poise and just...he's perfect. In everything. He's not too sweet, too cranky, too gruff -- he's perfect. I honestly wish that I could write him as amazingly. I wish I could write this well, period. But for some reason, he stood out most. Maybe it's just because Pike is one of the biggest badasses ever, and seriously, he could and should (and does!) have whole fics in his honor and...balls. I don't know. He was just...damn.

Alright. I have to go back outside before I start jittering out of my damn skin. :P Starting to foot-bounce again. I'll hopefully be back with some less brain-killed-ded commentary later.

[caomhnoiri.livejournal.com]

Also, on a completely random note, I'd like to say that I live on a street right now called Hobbit's Roost. ;) Win.

Absolutely amazing.

[caylinn1996.livejournal.com]

This is, easily, one of the best works of pieces of ST fanfiction I've ever read, including the stories that make it into those "By the Fans" Star Trek compilations. If you are not already writing professionally, you should give it a shot. Thank you for sharing your talent.

Re: Absolutely amazing.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*blushes* Thank you.

I've actually thought about doing some professional writing, or perhaps submitting one of my stories to one of the semi-professional fanfic anthologies. Really, writing isn't my field. I'm a biologist. But I started writing fanfic in 2002, and I discovered how much I love it, and I'm not going to stop anytime soon.

Thank you for reading. :)

[boldlynaps.livejournal.com]

2 cups of coffee + your story = the perfect Sunday morning. Great read, you write a fine action scene.

"And I said that he'd find a way to save the universe with a roll of gauze, a tricorder, and a hypospray?"

"Yes." The corners of his eyes crinkled.

Leonard found himself unable to resist mirroring Pike's smile. "He didn't need the gauze."
Loved this exchange.

I really enjoyed reading your nods to the canon at the end. If the next film does half the job you did with the references, I will be wildly happy.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Mmm... you reminded me that I really needed a caffeinated hot beverage this morning. (Where do you think my McCoy got his absolute love of quality coffee? *wink*)

Anyway, thank you! You're one of several people who have commented on the action scenes, and I take that as a huge compliment. I think action is something that's often overlooked in fanfic, but it's one of my favorite things about sci-fi writing - to weave a human story but to punctuate it with action and adventure. I'm glad you enjoyed that.

I liked that little exchange between Leonard and Pike, too. Jim didn't save the universe, but he saved Leonard's universe. Oh, my boys. *hugs them both*

And yay! Someone who reads author's notes! I have so much backstory about so many things, but those were the important ones that I thought people would enjoy most. Thank you for taking the time to read them.

And... wow... that's one hell of a compliment. But... as smug as this sounds, I really wish I could be on the writing staff for the next movie to make sure they don't fuck up anything. *headdesk* Isn't that awful? But I'm sure the next movie will be great. Good vibes, yes? :)

[lullabymoon]

This is really, really awesome. The characterisation, the dialogue, everything is great. I feel bad because my reviewing is rubbish at the moment but please take it as the biggest compliment that I can give that I was stuck to the computer screen for an hour reading this, something that few peices of writing have managed to do lately.

Completely awesome socks and thank you for sharing!

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Awww, thank you! *Grins* I'm really glad you enjoyed it. :)