On Marriage...

[mijan]

Dear Ultra-Conservatives of the "Religious Right",

I heard a rumour that you want to "protect marriage".  Never fear!  The answer is here!  I can tell you exactly how to protect your precious institution of marriage:

1. Be faithful to your spouses.  That's right, Mr. Two-Face.  Queers aside, your extra-marital affair just might be part of the problem.  Adultery is just as much of a "sin", according to your "good book", as homosexuality.  In fact, "thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife" made it into the Big Ten.  Sodomy wasn't on the list.

2. Marry someone you actually love, not just someone who will help you with your social-climbing.  Oh, and try at least a year or so of engagement to see if you actually DO love your betrothed, instead of just being infatuated.  Maybe you could even check to see if the sex will be any good.  That could save some problems down the road.

3. Wait until you're mature enough to have a shred of a clue who you are before you marry.  You can't know who you'll love for the rest of your life until you know yourself.

4. Marry someone intellectually compatible with you.

5. Marry someone sexually compatible with you!  And don't be afraid to try something other than "missionary style, under the sheets, with the lights out".  Why do you think people get bored?

6. If you're a closet-gay, don't marry someone of the opposite sex!  And no, your gayness isn't destroying marriage.  Your need to lie to society to protect a false image ruined YOUR marriage.   Maybe you should try being honest to the person who vowed to spend his or her life with you... and sexual orientation would be a good start.

Seriously, if you're so worried about marriage, then don't get a divorce!  Let's see how far your "faith" will get you in defending your own marriage before you slam someone else.   If you fuck up your own vows, don't blame the queers for ruining the "institution of marriage".  You did it yourself.  And seeing as gay marriage is only allowed in one state, you can't blame the gays for the astronomically high divorce rate.  Those divorces are pretty much all straight people... or at least "straight marriages".

FACT:  The "Bible Belt" states have all the highest divorce rates in the country.  Massachusetts, which is the only state that allows gay marriage, has the lowest divorce rate in the country.  Oh, and the gays seem to be doing better than the straights, statistically, on keeping their marriages together. 

Comments

[god-of-belac.livejournal.com]

Good stuff.

Hypocrisy is the worst sin of all in the eyes of God. Better to be a righteous unbeliever than a believer so sinful as to besmirch the name of God before the world.

[book-rapport.livejournal.com]

Thank you for posting this! *applauds*

<3

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

You know, according to wiki, "Sodomy" is not only acts of homosexuality but any kind of sexual intercourse whose aim is not producing children. I bet homosexuality wasn't even among the original meanings of this word. (Well, if I understand right the historical references) Oh, and if you are there, do go to wiki and see the painting they put up to illustrate the Sodomy entry. :D :D :D

Oh yeah! And that icon wins! :D

[anthimaeria.livejournal.com]

*tears eyes away from painting* And the woman holding the fan went home and recorded the whole thing on parchment, spreading slash throughout the ancient world...

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

*snort* Totally. Except that it wasn't called slash at the time...hm... that's an interesting problem. What would it have been called at the time? I mean, not by someone who would disdainfully call slash homosexual pornography in an editorial but an insider??? :D

[anthimaeria.livejournal.com]

There were definitely words for the love between men at that time. I believe one such term was "Greek love." But I'm not sure whether there was a word for homoerotic writing.

I've heard that the first actual "slash fiction" portraying a gay relationship between nominally hetero canon characters was written in the 19th century. I can't remember what novel it was based on. Moby Dick would be a good candidate, lol- Ishmael/ Queequueg is practically canon.

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

*G*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Oh no! The Religious Reich Right knows everything! Sodomy is only about those queers! Straight people have nothing to do with sodomy, because Sodomy is two guys having sex.

*snort*

Yes, you and I know that sodomy doesn't have the definition that most of these nutcases have, but these crazies can't accept that their definition is incorrect. Nothing changes their minds. That's why intelligent people need to band together, vote, speak out, and act according to real morality.

And... yay icon!

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

heh your Vader icon looks as if he had a giant yellow and red S on his chest. :)

Yes they should start Star Trek again and this time have gay couples/people in it in addition to other nationalities. :)

[ionaonie.livejournal.com]

That there is an excellent guide to preserving marriage, and, I think, it manages to incorporate some of the more difficult elements. I mean, love, compatability and faithfulness - who knew these things were needed for a successful marriage?

Seriously, though, an excellent set of points. It would just be nnice if the republicans would actually take heed and live by them.

[annulvapore.livejournal.com]

I do my part to protect the institution of marriage by not getting married. Who knows the kind of mischief I'd bring to the name of the institution? I can only imagine what they'd think of a married guy at Beltane. . .

[anthimaeria.livejournal.com]

*typed out long comment that LJ erased*

Fundamentalists are threatened by anything which might bring change or progress. That's why they base everything on (their interpretation of) a 2000 year old book. The rational points that you made in your post would be foreign concepts to them.

I believe gay marriage will be legal in the entire US in our lifetime, and fundies will just have to deal with it. Massachusetts (and Canada, Spain, etc) is just the beginning.

[estellye.livejournal.com]

Well said. I have something to add. It might be nice if everyone would study a little bit about the context in which the Bible was written. The phrase "a man shall not lie with a man" is a common saying even today in the Arab world which at the time of the writing of the Bible would have been understood in the same way as they understand it, today: "In business dealings a person shall not act falsely or use another person's weaknesses against them." In other words it has about as much to do with sex (or sexuality) as when we say, "Don't fuck with me."

My source for that is Dr. George Lamsa who was a bible scholar who had the advantage of growing up in a highly isolated village that still spoke Aramaic even until less than a century ago. If you're interested: http://www.noohra.com/ His Bible translation has quite a few little things that would set a few conservative arguments on their ear.

I saw a wonderful documentary yesterday and was able to meet the independent film maker too, who kindly answered questions after the film. It is was called "Bob and Jack's 52-Year Adventure." A couple of women in the audience commented that they had kept nudging one another throughout the story because it sounded so much like them. They have been together 26 years. I'd say both couples show a level of commitment and dedication any couple should want to emulate.

[foxtrot-pasta.livejournal.com]

A thoughtful entry, and very very true as well :)

I dont give much for your statistics regarding who's better at keeping their marriages together, though. To me, it reads like elitism, albeit "reversed" (though don't I hate that expression), and it doesn't fly with me. If those statistics actually are true, I'd say it's a temporary thing which will even out when gays take marriage for granted as well; right now, it's so new and beautiful, and I think that for many gays it's more trouble than it's wirth finding someplace to get married if they're not absolutely sure they want it.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sure that the gay divorce statistics will even themselves out with the straight divorces over time. No question about that. It's funny for now, though.

Still, it is true that the highest divorce rates in the country are found in the Bible belt, and that Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate. Those stats have been true for a long time.

[destinyfroste.livejournal.com]

Hehehehe. I second that whole damn thing!

[slumber.livejournal.com]

In fact, "thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife" made it into the Big Ten. Sodomy wasn't on the list.

is one of the best lines ever, haha.

[elizabeth-rice.livejournal.com]

Brilliant post!

[lielabell.livejournal.com]

*hugs you* You are so very, very right.

[midnight-birth.livejournal.com]

Amen to that.

[stitchesandlace.livejournal.com]

<3 <3

[aasaylva.livejournal.com]

The "Bible Belt" states have all the highest divorce rates in the country
This I found very surprising. In my country (Germany), high divorce rates more or less correlate with liberal surroundings, meaning, people in town and in areas traditionally progressive/ liberal/ left-wing are more likely to get a divorce, which always seemed logical to me, seeing the social pressure to stay together is not so high. So - do you have an explanation for the "Bible-divorcees"?

[mijan.livejournal.com]

I don't know the exact reasons why this is true. All I know is that these statistics have been confirmed by many reputable sources, and even people from those states (including conservative politicians) confirm that it's true.

If I were to theorize the reasons for the higher divorce rates...

In the Bible belt:
- Less educated population.
- Poorer population in some places.
- People marry because they're "supposed to", and aren't necessarily in love.
- People marry younger due to expectations, and aren't necessarily ready for marriage.
- Extremely rigid social standards lead to people desperate for an outlet, and often times, that means they turn to adultery.
- People's religions are so rigid that sometimes, they just crack. Couples will fly apart because they interpret Bible verses differently. Oh, and I should mention that many of these fundamentalists still adhere to the "wives, submit to your husbands" concept of female subservience.

In non-Bible Belt states:
- People usually marry when they're older and have established themselves better.
- People are more educated.
- People DO have religious faith, but not to a fanatical level.
- People are less afraid to "be themselves", and therefore are more able to find people that match themselves.
- People don't get married because they're "supposed to", but because they want to.

Anyhow, those are vast generalizations, but that would explain a lot of it to me.

[midnight-birth.livejournal.com]

I know this is REALLY late, but I just got your and fiona_fawkes's card!! :D Because I live in res, I constantly forget to check my mail for weeks, so sorry that I didn't get it sooner and thanked you (it seemed to be there for a while!!). Thank you so much!!! :D *hugs*