mijan | Of cabbages and kings...

Wow, it HAS been a while since I last updated! I've been a bit preoccupied, so I can try to claim an excuse. (I know, I know, there's NO EXCUSE! BLARGH!) So, here's the update in the messed up existence I call life:

Haven't been writing. Why not, you ask? Busy. Preoccupied, as I said. Unable to focus. BUT, I have been carefully considering my fic options. There are a couple of shorter fics I want to complete, but then, I have two choices – a sequel to Eclipse, or a post-HBP… which… I've already started. Yes, I'll tell you that I have started another novel-length. Originally, it was meant for round two of the Big Bang. It was months and months ago that I actually began writing this. Not long after HBP came out, actually. I did about 15,000 words. It was looking really good. And then – life happened. Part of the problem, however, is that I haven't read much post-HBP H/D fic. Not much at all. So I have no clue what's been posted. I wouldn't have any idea whether I'm copying someone else. I'd been completely abashed if I did, but I don't have time to go scan all the other fics out there. What to do? *flails*

*sigh* So, onto real life. My job – I don't know what's going on exactly, but I have a general idea. My boss, Brian, is pushing with every scrap of power and authority he has to get me hired as a full-time, salaried employee with full benefits. (I'm currently a full-time contract worker, which means I do 40-hours a week, get paid hourly at a subsistence-level, have crap health benefits, no sick days, and no vacation days.) I NEED to get those benefits. These days, nobody can afford to get sick if they don't have incredible health insurance. It sucks. But, it's looking good. Brian has some plans up his sleeve, and I trust the guy as much as I could trust anyone. I know he's doing everything he possibly can, which really makes me feel a bit more confident. Everyone WANTS me to be hired full time – it's just a budget issue. That's life in the corporate world, I guess. Either way, by the end of the week, I'll know what's going to happen. And I know that whatever it is, it won't be bad news. At worst, I'll just have to wait a bit longer, and I can handle that. At best, I'll be a full-time employee within a few short weeks, with full time benefits, and a job I love.

Then, there's life at home. Ah, my bright spot in a dreary world! I finally seem to have found a place where I really fit. And who would have thunk it? *goofy grin* A Potter, living quite happily in Malfoy Manor, right? I'm joyfully living somewhere on the fine line between reality and a fantasy that fits who I am just a little too perfectly, and I couldn't be happier. It's what I've been seeking for years, but I never thought I'd actually find it… and here it is! The life I want, the people I fit with. And the Family is finally complete. Draco arrived last Friday, amid much hugging and squeeing. It was great to finally see him in person. It's like he's always been here, and we couldn't imagine life without him.

So now, we've got the house to ourselves. There's me, Lucius, Draco, and Dobby. The Manor is ours. We're turning the other bedroom into a den/guestroom/storage. We don't foresee renting it out to anyone else. Not for a while, at any rate. It's nice to have the entire house. It's nice not to have anyone here who smokes. The energy has completely changed there. It's peaceful, it's warm, it's inviting, and it finally feels whole. And the new den will be the crowning glory. It'll be really cool when it's done.

In the meantime, we're also finding Ourselves a place where we can all go horseback riding. Lucius is getting the horse he's wanted for ages, and will be stabling the horse at a place that does partial leases of some other decent quality horses. I think I'll try to do a partial lease on this nice grey gelding named Shadow. Once Draco learns to ride, there are plenty of gentle small horses that he can choose from, too. I miss riding so much – for those of you who don't know, I had to sell my horse, Champ, earlier this year. It was for the best at the time, but once you've had a horse, it SUCKS not having one.

In other news, we're getting ready for Lumos. Dress robes are already almost done. We're going to try to do Quidditch robes, too, and some basic school robes. Very excited about that. Draco and I will also be teaching a Potions class together, so if you're going to Lumos, be sure to sign up for the Magical Night Classes. Emmagrant is teaching one, too. Arithmancy, I think. *snuggles Emma*

And the final news – my surgery is scheduled for the 27^th of June. Yes, I'm FINALLY getting my damn knee fixed. I was still quibbling about the whole thing until last night, when I COULDN'T climb the stairs to the bedroom without supporting my entire body weight with my arms on the railings. I tried, and it was just unbearable. The pain kept me awake most of last night, too, even with my leg propped up on pillows. I can still bend my knee for short periods of time, and I can still sorta walk on it even though it hurts, but I can't climb the stairs. It's pathetic. Hopefully, it'll be fixed so that I can function again. I need to start running. I'm getting desperate. I feel so horribly out of shape, and lazy. It's not like me not to be running all over the place. I'm hoping that I'll be able to walk normally at Lumos, but I'll worry about that later. For now… *sigh*

I'll be quite honest, I'm scared stiff. I did the pre-op interview with the nurse today over the phone, and now that it's only one week away, it's really starting to sink in. Up until this point, I could mentally put it off as something that will happen "eventually" or "sometime" or "later". But now, it's right here, and coming up fast, and it's going to happen. If I ever want to run again, I need to do it, but… *shudder* I hate doctors – I mean, REALLY hate doctors. I don't trust them. I'm almost phobic of being helpless (and completely phobic of other… things), and the idea of surgery, even arthroscopic, is just terrifying. (If you've read "A Year Like None Other" by AspenInTheSunlight, you'll have a pretty good idea of what I'm talking about.) So, I'm hoping that by the time I go, I'll have managed to get myself into a frame of mind where I won't be completely freaking out. That would be a lovely accomplishment, I think. Simply not freaking out. (Can I hide under a rock and stay there until the 28 ^th?)

So, that's my life right now. I'm hoping to write some fanfic while I'm recovering from… that… er… unpleasantness. I'm psyched about Lumos. And I positively love the people I'm living with. And, if you could tell by the grin I've been wearing all day, which started last Friday night and persisted all weekend, all in all, I'd say life is pretty damn good.

~HP