Star Trek Big Bang Fic status report.

Fic is currently at 54,000 words, 119 pages.  I expect another 2K to round off the rough draft.  It's been partially beta'd, and it's been test-read by a couple of people.  I still have to finish writing the wind-up scene, but I can do that.  It will be ready in time to submit to the Big Bang folks tonight.

I have to admit, I'm nervous as hell.  I've invested a lot of personal and emotional energy into this fic.  It's gotten into my head, hit on some very personal issues I have, and taken over my thought process.  I've dug into some pretty deep issues in this fic.  I got the plot bunny for it over three months ago, but I only began actively writing it after I got back from San Francisco. 

I guess I'm worried that the fic won't be well-received, or that it will fade into the mess of other Big Bang fics that will be posted and won't be noticed.  Normally, while I want my fics to do well, it's not something that gets me horribly keyed up.  This time, I'm actively nervous, and I really want this fic to be spectacular.  Need this fic to be spectacular.  Not sure why.  I just do. 

The wait between now and when it gets posted, however, is what's going to kill me.  All that time, not knowing how it'll be received.  *sigh*

When I finish this tonight and send it off, I'm gonna need a drink.