I'll never trust a doctor again.

[mijan]

I've been having pretty severe knee pain, getting progressively worse over the past few months. I can pinpoint the spot where the pain is coming from. I know when it started, and what caused it. And I finally got the Army to accept responsibility for the incident that caused it. So last Friday night, I had an MRI. And the test results? NORMAL.

I'm sorry, but I don't fucking believe that for a minute.

I've been a distance runner for 12 years. I've played competitive sports ever since I was old enough to comprehend "first across the finish line wins". I've done pushups on a broken hand. I've run on twisted ankles. I ignored a broken finger on my shooting hand because I didn't want to miss a single game of the basketball season. (I swore it was just jammed - until my mother dragged me in for x-rays a month later.) I'd like to think I don't whine about nonexistant injuries. And here these people are telling me that despite the fact that there are days I can barely walk, and I get sharp shooting pains right through the outside of my knee, my knee gives out when I bend it wrong, and the last time I tried to run I couldn't even bend my knee for hours afterwards, there's nothing wrong?!?

I've always said I don't trust doctors, and now I know why.

They want to refer me out to orthopedics now. I don't know where they're sending me. Somewhere up in New Hampshire, because that's my home of record, despite the fact that I spend more time in Massachusetts now, and I'll have to miss a day of work to get up there. It'll probably be weeks before anyone looks at my case. WEEKS more of having to hobble around, with the pain getting progressively worse. I don't want to whine, but I'm fucking FURIOUS. I've had it. I had a doctor blow me off three times over six weeks when I had pneumonia. I was told that a severe migraine I got a few months after a really nasty head injury was just a figment of my imagination and was given antidepressants, despite the fact that I was as happy as I'd ever been. I was told when I had mono that I... didn't. I was told that a spider bite on my hand was an "allergic reaction to my acne cream", even though I told the arsehole that I was allergic to spiders and the spot had been burning and throbbing for three days. When I had a cyst on my ovary burst, the emergency room nurse very rudely insinuated that (at the age of 14), I couldn't possibly be a virgin, and I must be pregnant, and she wouldn't stop being rude to me until the pregnancy test came back negative. FOURTEEN YEARS OLD! The fucking bitch!

So, give me one good reason why I should EVER trust these people again? Hipocratic oath my bloody arse. They can all go screw.

Oh, and I've got a physical this afternoon. This ought to be entertaining.

Comments

[webbapettigrew.livejournal.com]

doctors are odd. If they found nothing wrong with the knee, why do they want to send you to an orthopedist person?

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Second opinion, I guess. See, the military doctor was the one who referred me to the orthopedist. He was the one who referred me for the MRI in the first place. He's a good guy, and he's pretty sure that SOMETHING is wrong, and wants me to have the chance to get a second opinion. I know that there are a lot of people who have their MRI's and x-rays read, and told it's "normal", but then they take it to a quality specialist, and THAT'S when the real story comes out. So, who knows? The orthopedist might take one look at the MRI, tell me that the idiot who said it was "normal" was on crack, and and I'll have it fixed in no time. But... I'm cynical enough right now that I'm not counting my chickens until they're hatched.

*is still bitter*

[dracavia]

Hey hon, sorry to hear you're having so much trouble. It really is a good thing they're sending you to a specialist though (even if they are being idiots about where they're sending you).
A year and a half ago an allergist sent me for a CAT scan of my sinuses because I showed up negative on all of my allergy tests, and yet I still couldn't breath through my nose. The CAT scan came back negative... so he sent me to an ear, nose and throat specialist. The ENT spcecialist took one look at my CAT scan and goes "These are your symptoms aren't they..." and starts listing off all of my symptoms, including ones I had but didn't realise were related... I won't go into what was wrong, but suffice to say, because he knew what he was looking for he saw it right away and a few months later I had the surgery that fixed it and haven't had any nose problems since.
As for the fact that it's your knee is bothering you, you have double sympathy from me. I literally just got back from a doctor's appointment having my own knee checked out and am now on a waiting list for an appointment with an orthopedist myself... at least in my case we have some idea of what's wrong... though not how bad yet and to what extent the treatment will be... hence the trip to the ortho.
Anyway, enough of my prattling, I have to head off to class. But I just want to say good luck and I hope you get into the ortho soon and he can figure out what's wrong and fix it.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the reassurance. At least I know that sometimes, even if you're told at first that nothing is wrong, you can eventually get through to intelligent people who help you. Here's hoping the next place I go actually does something good.

[lindsical.livejournal.com]

Hey P? Are you interested in selling your wacom tablet?

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Actually, yes. I never use it. Make an offer. :)

[lindsical.livejournal.com]

What's your email address? I don't feel really all that comfortable talking about it in the public eye.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

LOL...

jedi_mijan@yahoo.com

(And I love your icon, btw.)

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

That? Sucks. SO much.

*hugs*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*
*clings*

I just want this damn thing fixed before Lumos so I can run around without having to worry about it. I mean... Harry can't be on crutches, right? *whimpers*

[vine-s.livejournal.com]

and i thought our russian doctors were evil (at least medicine here is almost free). i've never heard anything so bad... so sorry for you..

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Actually, shit like this happens all the time in America, especially to females between the ages of 18 and 30. Doctors will tell them that they're imagining things, and that the pain is "all in their head". Trust me, the American medical system is no shining star.

[lunalovegoddess.livejournal.com]

*amen, sister!*

Like when my daughter was born. I couldn't possibly have known that she had a severe milk allergy (read: life-threatening!)and seizures, or that I had post-partum depression, because I was only 20. Didn't matter how educated I was, or how much experience I had with emergencies.
I overheard the first gynecologist I saw mention to his nurse, whom was not present for the pelvic exam, that I was "just another welfare mother who got knocked up because she couldn't keep her damn legs together". (BTW this is actually against the law, but I did not find out until I asked my obstetrician why his nurse was present... he was shocked and appalled that I didn't press charges.) As soon as I heard that, I was out of there.

I'm not one to complain about physical ailments, and I tough things out before taking any medication or seeing a doctor. No one believes me when I say I'm sick, so when I finally get seen, they are shocked that I am able to function at all. Currently I am partially deaf in one ear and have balance issues because the last ear infection I had damaged my middle or inner ear. I took the antibiotics and decongestants, but every two months or so, the pressure and fluid builds up again. But, I must be imagining it... *rollseyes*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Ear infections tend to happen to kids, which is why when it happens to adults, they're less likely to listen. They're so stupid - just because a condition isn't TYPICAL is a certain demographic, they act like it CAN'T happen.

And I can't believe they'd say something that awful in front of you! Welfare mother? And how the hell would they presume to know that? Just because you were younger than average? People used to get married at 18 and already be pregnant with their second child by the age of 20. That's what used to be normal! And now, people make snide comments about younger mothers? Now, if a 14-year old is pregnant, chances are good that she's not married, she's still in high school, she has no income of her own, and she and her boyfriend-of-the-month just weren't careful. But twenty years old? GAH! Those assholes!

*hugs you*

[quidditchmaster.livejournal.com]

Lawsuit time!

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Heh... methinks... that sounds like a good idea.
*meh*

[ccck381.livejournal.com]

What do you think is wrong? I'm having a problem with my knee, and just went to an orthopedist about it today and he told me that I have patellar subluxation. I personally think that's a load of shit. I think I have a tear in my medial meniscus b/c I can't do the straight leg raises that my physical therapsits want me to do.

As for your docs? What crack are they smoking?? Seriously? Can they not read the MRI correctly? I can understand that it won't necessarily show up on an X-ray, but most knee problems would show up on an MRI >.< By the way, are MRI's bad to endure? I'm kinda claustrophobic, and I have to have an MRI done to rule out a meniscal tear in my knee -_-

[sherant.livejournal.com]

sorry for the random reply!

I had an MRI to check out my torn meniscus and it was no problem at all -they don't even put you all the way in. The worst part was lying still for 20+ minutes. And the earplugs muffled all the strange knocking sounds pretty well. It's a weird experience, but totally doable. Good luck with yours! :)

[ccck381.livejournal.com]

Nooo! Don't be sorry! Any reassurance is good! I'm totally freaking about this >.< Stupid phobias.

Sorry to Michelle for the spam in her mailbox though -_-

[mijan.livejournal.com]

It's okay, sweetie. It's fair to be nervous and to want reassurance. And what else is LJ for but to communicate? Feel free!

[blldandi.livejournal.com]

I had an MRI on my shoulder and 2 on my abdomen. Neither was bad. The room was chilly and bright. When they did my shoulder I got to listen to a CD I brought in, because they had to stick my head all the way in the machine.

Michelle, I'm just reiterating he person who said that a second opinion from a specialist is a good thing. The ER doctor couldn't tell that my appendix was infected when I went in screaming in pain the first time. His MRI was "inconclusive." Two days later, still screaming, the surgeon looks at a second, more carefully done MRI and says, "Yup, that appendix has to come out." The next morning I'm minus an appendix and feeling better than I had in a long time. Of course come to find out my appendix had been "inflamed, but not quite infected" off and on for 4 years before it got that bad. I find that to be like the weirdest thing about my medical history so far.

Anyways, I'm babbling. Good luck with the knee thing!

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Actually, the MRI was kinda boring, and I almost fell asleep a few times. The machine was loud, so they gave me earplugs, and they took my glasses (metal content), so I was just sitting there in this fuzzy, muffled world, staring at the ceiling (the way they put me in, the top of my head was peeking out), and waited while they did their thing. The only thing you'll feel is the vibration from the machine. Really easy... just boring. Kinda cool, actually, if you think about it.

And the Air Force doctor has already written me a referral to see a real orthopedist. He still believes that there's something wrong with it, so that's good. There's still hope.

*sigh*

[ccck381.livejournal.com]

Well, good luck! I hope you don't have to hobble around much longer! And have a blast at Lumos!!!

[oboros.livejournal.com]

I take it this was an army doctor visit? I was in the Marines and hated all doctors there for same reason. Civilian doctors are better, or not. depending on who you get I suppose. Just today I called an orthopedic place because I twisted my ankle pretty bad last month and it's still swollen and hurts. My logic=orthopedics, right? But no - they want me to see my 'pcp' first and then get a recommendation from him to them if needed. Reverse situiation. bah.

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, nowadays, they just want you to go to your primary care practitioner first, no matter how blatantly obvious the problem is. It's so stupid, redundant, etc.

And actually, the person who read the MRI is civilian, from one of the most (theoretically) reputable hospitals in the Boston area. My case is being just overseen by an Air Force doctor because the only active duty base/post anywhere near me is an Air Force base, so they take care of all the branches regionally. And the Air Force doctor is really quite good. I managed to get through to him later in the day (had to go through several layers of secretaries - blah), and he'd already written the referral for a real orthopedist, despite what the civilian said. Air Force Doc thinks there's a real problem with the knee, and he's making sure I see the right people.

So... here's hoping that the orthopedist has more brain cells than the guy who read the MRI.

*headdesk*

[sherant.livejournal.com]

Orthopedists are the way to go.
When I tore my meniscus my regular doc just said,"it'll be fine in six weeks." To which I asked, "So... it'll grow back then?" And he said, "it'll be fine."
Long story short, the pain got worse and I could hardly get around at times (and any kind of kneeling was completely out of the question). So I took advantage of my non-HMO status and went straight to an Ortho who did all the tests, ran an MRI, and did surgery (which was sucessful!).
I recommend them, just be sure to tell them everything about your knee -from day one. Good luck, and I hope everything goes well for you!! :)

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*clings*
Thanks, Sherant. That gives me some hope. Because originally, they just said, "You'll be fine in six to eight weeks", and they showed me the curb. And although the initial injury sorta healed, there was still distinct sharp pain in one spot, and over time, it got worse.

So, the Air Force doctor who is handling my case actually already wrote me a referral for the orthopedist. I had thought they'd see the "normal" MRI report, and just kick me to the curb again. But this guy is good, and he's making sure I see the right people. So, hopefully, this will go better in round two. I just got so nervous and so upset because I was certain I was just going to get brushed aside, and I'd never get my knee fixed. But, there's hope.

*meeble*
*curls up*

[singlewoman.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* Sorry to hear that the knee has gotten worse. MRI's really have to be read by a specialist, and every specialist will see something different. The ortho will be looking for specific things so SHOULD be more attuned to your needs. Should is always the operative word. What a pain to have to go the NH though. Because Boston obviously has no reputable orthos! Will you be seeing an Army doctor or a real doctor? Have to many military friends who say that they will only go to real (non-military) doctors.

What is it about you that doctors don't trust? It seems that you have a long history of medical confrontations. But I agree with the issue that doctors tend to dismiss a woman's pain much more often than a man's. I can almost guarantee that if you were a male, you would have not only been seen and diagnosed by now, but probably had surgery as well. So glad the double standard is still alive. *Snark*

I hope this gets resolved soon. But if Harry has a cane in Las Vegas he can always use it against Lucius.

*Hugs again*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

I'll have to be pimp-cane!Harry, right? And yes, I'm quite sure that if I were a guy, I would have been treated three years ago when it happened, instead of waiting until it got really bad.

And yeah, I've had some really bad experiences with doctors who basically gave me the cold-shoulder. "You're not really sick" or "You're not really injured" were the essence of the message I received, and over time, I just learned that no matter how sick or injured I was, I just wouldn't bother with doctors because it didn't do any good.

Well I had a physical this afternoon with a new primary care practitioner, to check a bunch of ongoing problems I've had, and the guy actually seems to be paying attention. He ordered a bunch of tests, and EXPLAINED all of them to me. When I told him I had a bio degree, and that I was pre-med until I switched over to the environmental/research side of the house, his face kinda lit up and he said, "Oh good! So you understand almost all of this already!" (In other words, he didn't have to dumb things down for me.) So, we're checking into things. He's not handling the knee issue - the Army is paying for that - but he said he'd be more than happy to help pick up the slack if the military falls short of the mark. I like him. Very thorough, very professional, listens well, explains well, and he's a somewhat young doctor who isn't set into old habits, and he seems determined to use every bit of knowledge he got in med school. Yes, there's something to be said for experience, but this guy seems pretty sharp. And he speaks clear English, which seems to be a rarity around Boston hospitals. *Growls*

Anyhow, I'm tired, so I'm gonna lie down. Call me anytime, you know. ;)

*hugs*

[firebird157.livejournal.com]

Having an MRI come back negative doesn't mean nothing is wrong. There are a surprising number of medical conditions that are diagnosed simply because they've excluded every other diagnosis via tests. The damage might just be of a type that doesn't show up on an MRI (there are things that don't)

[mijan.livejournal.com]

That's what I'm figuring. Because otherwise, that essentially says I'm making this all up, and that's not good. But mostly, that means my knee hurts like hell with no explanation... so here's hoping the orthopedist figures it out.

Woot!

[wolfanimagus.livejournal.com]

Hey I had a physical today too...

Hit me up tonight if you like, Harry, I'll be on around 10ish..you have my cell :-)

See you Saturday?

Re: Woot!

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Saturday it is!

And if I don't call you by 10:15, call me. I probably dozed off watching TV or something - don't worry about waking me up. :D

Of course, if you want to come over and find other ways to wake me up...

[mimoletnoe.livejournal.com]

OucH!
*hugs*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

It'll be okay, I think.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

Don't get me started on Doctors. :/ No, you can't trust most of them. A handful, you can.

[nyx-of-darkness.livejournal.com]

wow i know how that is. only my doctors couldn't decide what to do with me so they put me in a brace for 3 months keeping it straight just to decided i needed it bent for 3 months after then they said well none of that helped oh and you can't walk now cause the leg won't hold you up and it locks well here is some physical therapy and some medical tape to tape your knee cap in place. then they sent me on my way and wondered how i managed to snap my ankle a few years later running.

[wintermoon3.livejournal.com]

e-gads!!! I hope you feel better soon and that you can find one of the very few really good doctors. :)

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*grumbles*

Where's Madam Pomfrey when you need her, right? Quick wave of the wand, and then you're on your merry way, yes?

[awaywithpixie.livejournal.com]

For some strange reason, I missed this entry yesterday. It never showed in my friends list :(

I can't say I've ever heard of anyone who has had so many bad experiences with doctors. My own personal opinions on how bad the American medical system is don't matter here, even though it's the craziest system in the world.

Do they not make you get two or three opinions? I know here that if compensation of sorts were involved, that they will take no less than 3 opinions before paying out any funds. But then again, I live in a country where we are trying to extradite an American Doctor who worked over here and killed patients with his poor diagnoses during his tenure at a hospital.

I wish there was something I could do for you (Like bring you here and let you be assessed by a real doctor that listens to a patient before making a diagnosis).

My mother is a nurse, and has had two shoulder and knee reconstructions, and is currently resting with a suspected broken hip. An MRI doesn't find everything that can possibly be wrong. It won't find twisted or swollen ligaments - only bone. They didn't find calcium deposits on my mother's knee until they actually had her under the knife. So I honestly feel they should get you a second opinion.

I'm sure the Army wouldn't want to be saddled with a much nastier compensation claim if they did nothing else now, only to discover in a few more years that they were horribly, horribly wrong.

I can feel the pain from your anger from this far away. I do really wish you the best, and I'll send some calming energy your way. It's about all I can do from this distance.

*snuggles*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

*clings*
Actually, the Air Force doctor has given me a referral to an orthopedist, so the military isn't throwing me out on my arse yet. And actually, the Air Force doc is pretty good, from what I've seen so far. He's actually really listened to me, and he believes that there's something wrong. I was just pissed because I'd wanted the MRI to show what was wrong, and then they'd fix it, and this whole thing will be over. Like I said, I don't like doctors, and I like being a patient even less, so the quicker I got this done and over with, the better.

And you're right - the American medical system sucks. There's so official system for doctor accountability. Just malpractice lawsuits. And some lawsuits are frivilous, so that when a real suit is filed, it causes people to roll their eyes. The public is lawsuit-happy, and the doctors hate it because malpractice insurance is insanely expensive, and the one with the best lawyer wins.

I don't want compensation. I want my knee to stop hurting. Do you think the Aussies would take good care of me? *wibbles* What's the immigration process?

[imperial-dragon.livejournal.com]

hm... those doctors sound really shady. MRIs aren't really reliable as information can be very easily interpreted and is the one of the more basic methods of testing. i hope all turns out well (well, i hope your knee gets better). i don't see why doctors stress the need to know everything about you yet disregard the information you give in favour of something more common.

i really hate it when doctors prescribe antiedepressents so uncautiously. and that ER nurse who was rude to you makes me feel quite outraged.

i hope your physical went well

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Doctors give out antidepressants like candy now. Don't worry, I flushed the whole bottle. I've got no use for taking unnecessary pills.

And yeah, I've been given some stories about MRI's not showing what's really wrong. I'm getting a referral to an orthopedist, and hopefully they'll be able to figure it out. I mean, something either hurts, or it doesn't. Something either swells up, or it doesn't. You can either bend your knee right, or you can't. A joint clicks and locks, or it doesn't. There's not a lot of room for interpretation - there's definitely *something* wrong. The doctor should be intelligent enough to figure out what it is. I hope. We'll see what happens.

And the physical went well. I'm waiting for some test results. In the meantime, my tummy still hurts. *whines*

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... healthy doc, huh? I would have turned around and walked out the door if I'd been scheduled with a doctor who was morbidly obese. Why? Because if he can't keep himself healthy, I don't trust him to keep me healthy.

And yay! I'm so glad you liked the ending. You know, I really ought to go back and re-read it. I've never actually just read my fic from cover-to-cover. That might be interesting.

Anyway, of course I'll add you! Going to do that now!

[loofa-serpent.livejournal.com]

Yeah doctors are strange that way. I trust some, but quite often, they diagnose the problem wrong. So you really have to judge based on how you feel (because who knows your body better than you? =P) AND the doctor's input.

But yeah.. some doctors can't be trusted. My uncle had this heart doctor that told him never to exercise because it caused your heart to be stressed... which is true, but it also strengthens it.. the doctor himself was quite questionable in that he was like 300 lb. and was eating a lunch of 3 chocolate bars and a coke. But he made it through med school so, he was a doctor.

Btw, can you add me back? =P I've just friended you. I used to be green_loofa, but I've made this account because I prefer that no one from my school knows my lj. lol, I prefer being somewhat anonymous. XD

Oh, and I don't think I've commented on your ending to Eclipse. Anyway, I think it was brilliant and I loved it. It was so sweet with Draco feigning death and it was just really well written. I hope you write a sequel but no pressure if you don't. I'll still read all of your fanfics either way. XD Keep up the awesome work! =D

Alright, take care!

-ls-

[mijan.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... healthy doc, huh? I would have turned around and walked out the door if I'd been scheduled with a doctor who was morbidly obese. Why? Because if he can't keep himself healthy, I don't trust him to keep me healthy.

And yay! I'm so glad you liked the ending. You know, I really ought to go back and re-read it. I've never actually just read my fic from cover-to-cover. That might be interesting.

Anyway, of course I'll add you! Going to do that now!